Here goes nothing. (Trigger) LONG
So I've been contemplating something very serious since I've found out I was pregnant. From the time I was two(the earliest I remember it) until I was 7 my older sister molested me. Between her there were other boys. One instance was of a man and his son doing it to me as well. Anyway my sister also molested my younger brother and my baby sister. She was a newborn and passed when she was 4 months old. My mom knew what happened to me as she caught her when I was around 4 but still did nothing. My mom always acted like it never happened and that I should get over it.
Oh my gosh I'm incredibly sorry that you've had to go through this. No child deserves that, let alone form people who are supposed to love and protect them. That being said, you are now a parent too, your mother did not protect you...please get out now and protect your son. Also, I would be letting that girls friend know about all of this being that your sister is alone with her children often. Those kids need someone to speak up for them too because I'm betting she's touching them inappropriately as well. Child molesters don't just stop.
If you have to stay there, here's what I would do. I would sit your mom down and get very graphic about what your sister did to you. Make your mom see it as actual horrible acts instead of the general term of molestation.
I was raped repeatedly for years as a child. When I encountered that person again as an adult and my mom couldn't understand why I was still holding on to the pain, I told her in detail some of the things he did. She shut right up and apologized.
Good luck.
Have you told her friend that your sister is a child molester? I'm sorry all that happened to you. I wouldn't let her anywhere near me or my children, period. I probably would cut my mom out too. She sat back and let it happen. It sounds like your sister probably was molested too. Everyone probably needs professional help.
I'm so sorry you even have to think about this let alone whilst you're pregnant. Agree with others just get out as soon as you can, ESPECIALLY before the baby comes. Can you stay with anyone else?
I think you're making the right decision. My advice would be to cut them out of your life completely. You have your own family now and it sounds like even having your mother around is detrimental.
I like another posters comment about being a warrior for you baby.
Im sorry but no way in hell would i let a family member even try to come near my baby after what they put me through with sexual assault! And the fact that your mum is turning a blind eye, avoiding the truth and tell you to get over it and guilt tripping you is BEYOND low and completely disrespectful towards what you have been through as a child as well as what you are about to become (a mother).
How dare she even think for a second you would even allow your baby to be handled by your sexually controlling and perverted sister!?! It absolutely blows my mind how your mother can act as if your sister is 'fine' and that you should treat her with love and care when its obvious she couldnt give a crap about you or your baby!!
Tell your mum to get stuffed, that just because she turned a blind eye to you when you were younger doesnt mean you'll allow ANYTHING to happen to your baby. And if she continues to guilt trip you then i would definitely reconsider staying with her as its poisonous living with a woman who clearly is out of her mind and a sister who is perverted and a molester.
I agree with Kosh. Is there really NO ONE else you can stay with until you find a job? Husband's relatives, friends, HUD (public housing)?
I bet if you applied for public housing and told them your story they would get you out of there right away. It's seriously a safety risk for you to be there.
Ohh hell now.. I'm sorry but your sister and your mom need to be slapped.. They are disgusting and should know better than that. I'd say hell no about giving your baby to either one to be watched. Cause if anything happens to your baby they will not say nothing but just keep it a little secret. I'm sorry but they are both sorry. Just BC it happened to her don't mean to go and do it to other ppl.. Your her sister and that is your mom.. If it was up to me I wouldn't even talk to them.. You can forgive them, but do it for you.. And you still don't have to let them be around your kid. They did that to themselves.
Trust your gut instinct and get out of there as soon as you can. I went through something similar with cousins as a child and I don't trust anyone with my children.
It's your job to protect your baby so I wouldn't care about hurting feelings. Your mom needs to either be on bored with your decisions or be cut out until she is.
I'm sorry your dealing with that and I think your being smart about it.
Honesty when that happened to your sister your mom should have gotten her help. The fact that she uses that as an excuse to justify her inappropriate actions on you and your siblings is absolutely appalling! Your mom should of protected you and listened to you. What kind of mother lets that kind of thing happen amongst her children? I'm so sorry you and your siblings went through that. You are a very strong woman to have dealt with all that trauma and not succumb to self demise. Like every one else said cut the ties. I'm sure your dad would understand. What did your dad say about all that?
Oh hunny ? I agree with pps cut ties with your mum and sister , this story is so sick , never let her get a chance , I'm sorry but even just the need to be alone with your child after everything she has done is super weird , please look after your baby boy , obviously you will , but I don't believe she's "changed"
She had a serious mental problem , she wasn't just going through a phase , what is everyone thinking , that girl needs help ...
I'm so sorry you went through that. I just can't even imagine...I hope you know how strong you are.
As everyone pretty much said, I would also just cut them out of my life. Your sister doesn't seem to show remorse for what she did and your mom ignoring the fact that she did it makes everything so much worse and you will not be able to feel safe and heal as long as they're around.
You deserve a fresh start with your son, without those people. It just breaks my heart that your family would treat you this way. I'm so sorry and pray for the best for you.
First off I'm terribly sorry for you and anyone who had been affected by your sisters sick ways. I would absolutely not allow her near my child no matter what. You made the right choice and you should stick with it because it's for the safety of your child. Your sister needs to get help and your mom needs to get real. If that was my sister I would tell her to stay the hell away from me and not to even try to talk to me. As for mom, she either needs to back off or she needs to stay away as well because that's enabling. Your sister does not deserve to be apologized to, instead should be the one apologizing.
Yeah that's probably what will happen when I can get out. Thank you to the pp that told me about Uhaul! I'll definitely look into that!
She tried to get the man who did it to my sister and cries about it happening to her all the time. But cares nothing about what she did to us. The only thing that would suck about cutting ties with my mother is I'm a huge daddy's girl and he didn't know about it until recently. My mom never told him and I thought she did so I didn't. He even said she won't be around my baby as well.
No I haven't reported her because I'm actually too old for them to be able to do anything and my mom would probably die if I had. I just want to get away from her as soon as possible and stay away. I will not be letting her near him but I just know my moms going to try to force it which is another reason why I'm not letting anyone babysit. If I'm gone and she's there and my mom thinks it would be ok because she's "changed" I would kill both of them.
She was molested the night I was born by the babysitters daughters boyfriend. She's 5 years older than me. That's why my mom excuses her, because she was molested and in turn did it to us.
I actually got counseling two years ago. I was considered to have persistent depressive disorder. They had me on suicide watch because my sister molesting me wasn't all that happened. I was also raped at 14 and in an abusive relationship from 15-17. I got myself help because my mom didn't take me seriously when I told her what happened. It wasn't until I almost committed suicide that in an instant I ran down and told my mom I needed help or I was going to kill myself. She finally took me seriously after that. But having to be back here with her has just been really hard on me and I've been staying at work for as long as possible just to avoid getting home and able to get out quicker. Thank you ladies for taking the time to respond and to read my crazy life story. I know it was really long.
How sick can one be? Man, I am so sorry that not only she made you endured things a young child shouldn't but also the fact that your mom and sister are forcing you to face your worst memories with her. Awful
Doesn't matter what your mom or sick sister says, if you don't want her around your child, she's not gonna be around your child. PERIOD.
Check your laws and see if statue of limitations ran out. Either for you or your brother or anyone else you think she did something too. She should be charged and jailed. Smh
I can relate to this story. With a child molester its important to acknowledge not to forgive or forget. Its not a forgive or forgettable action. Your mom wont ever understand unless its happened to her. Once it happens to you, makes you realize that you cant just let anyone watch your kids. For this reason, I wont allow anyone to watch my kids either. I did get a lot of counseling when I was younger and it did help. I would recommend to stay the hell away from her. I reported the family who did this to me. Its very traumatizing and serious. I don't know why your mom thinks she can just brush this off her shoulder unless she truly does not care about her doing this to you. Have you reported your sister?
?✋ ummm nope she would not even be permitted to look at my child
She is a known child molester and in my opinion a predator. A pervert to be exact. Your mom needs to wake up and stop enabling her to do terrible things. And if anyone can I would press charges. Not sure what the statue of limitations is where you are...but this is sick and wrong.
Sorry this happened to you OP, but keep your child safe and other children safe. If she is watching anyone's child I would inform them of her being a predator!
I'm truly sorry that you're going through this and even more sorry that your mother did nothing to protect you.
As for your child don't let her anywhere near him. I sure as heck wouldn't, it's your child and unlike your mother I'm sure you will act against her if she steps out of line. Good luck
ETA- I would seek professional help, it truly does help
I think even if you forgive your sister for the horrible things that she did to you, you are right to want to keep your kids away from her. She should never and I mean NEVER be given the chance to repeat that mistake on you. I am sorry for what happened to you. The way your mother enabled her and shrugs it off makes me mad for you. I would think twice before leaving your child alone with your mom too. I feel anyone who KNOWS and allows a child to be sexually abused and does NOTHING to help... They are just as evil as the molester in my eyes. I hope you guys can find good paying jobs and get out soon. I used to work for uhaul, their corporate office and I know they hire for phones (claims and sales and reservations) that can be done from home. Look into that? Maybe you both can get hired on and get the f out of there.
My advice is to seek professional help. And tell someone other than family that can truly help you.
Tell your mom to stuff it. Your sister doesn't need to be around you anymore or your baby at all. Quite frankly, if that was me, I would cut my mom out too for ignoring such a big issue. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. ?
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...
Will your Mom be in the delivery room?
My mom made it sound like she was gonna be in the delivery room when I give birth, and quite frankly, I would just like it to be me and my fiancé. It's our first, and I want to share that special moment with just him. I don't want to hurt her feelings, and I know this is something she would really like to be a part of. So I feel bad telling her no.

Her helmet she got so she can be safe (as she told me) when she rides her bike and scooter lol

This is what happens when a littles sister doesn't listen and goes a bit bridezilla. She wants all her sisters to wear the same thing for her wedding in a few weeks. I told her "I can wear something as similar as I can make it, but being pregnant I can't wear the same exact thing. It just won't work". Then she settled on a denim shirt dress. Cute, but wouldn't work on me normally, let alone pregnant (I'm pretty tall). She said she'd just femme a bigger size to fit over the tummy. I told her the ...
I've told her before but she still insists that my sister isn't like that anymore. So I tried to help her but she doesn't want to be helped.