I get the testing and screening process is a state mandated to make sure the embryos are good to donate and I'm not against donating, however I have reservations about this when we're being asked to spend another 3,000 on top of what we're paying for ivf with icsi. I'm still bothered by the fact that there are no guarantees after testing if something shows up we'd lose more money then we'd be spending either way. It's not about money for us either, but when you're asked to spend so much for tests, meds, ivf, icsi, we wouldn't be able to throw more money on top. I'm sorry but I'd rather use that money towards my baby if the cycle(s) is successful.

My doctor never said anything about paying for testing so I'm not sure. Maybe if and when we're at that point he'll elaborate on the process. I think since that was before we started the cycle he was more concerned with making sure there are eggs to freeze. Didn't make sense to really go too deep into it without knowing whether the cycle was going to be a successful one

Just a last thought to share...the testing is state mandated because of the nature of a transfer...please consider the testing as a safe guard and not that you are paying to donate your embies. Many receiving couples also have the same testing ran on them selves before the can transfer donated embies because again the state wants to make sure they are transferring to a safe and healthy womb..

Wishing you the best!

I also would like to add after doing further reading on this, when it comes to donating embryos, at our clinic there is an additional fee for screening and test before they will allow anyone to donate. So in essence we wouldn't be donating we would be paying to give our kids away and if the test come back positive for anything there's no guarantee we'd be able to anyway.

Thank you ladies for your thoughts and insights. After speaking more with my dh, I see where he's coming from about this and it makes more sense.

He was adopted and donating our embryos would be like giving our kids away to someone else who would raise them and love them and anything could happen to them. He wouldn't be able to live with that.

I appreciate all of you sharing your decisions. I think there is no right or wrong choice with such a sensitive matter.

Cphelps: I didn't know about compassionate transfer... I'll have to ask my RE more about this later on if we hopefully don't get to that point.

It's such a hard decision but we had to think about what we can live with. And we decided that we can live with letting someone else raise our kids because a couple who is trying this hard to have a baby will treat that baby like their natural kid. But we couldn't live with destroying them. I guess it depends on how you view life and what you'd consider a baby.

I understand that there are a lot if infertile couples out there who may want embryos but I see it as giving away my children. I would never knowingly do that. I would be more likely to donate eggs but never my embryos.

We have two embryos left in the freezer and will transfer both of them, at some point. I'm currently 30 weeks with our first baby, so it will be a year or so. I couldn't donate them to another couple. They are my babies and I wouldn't handle that well. If we had more than that in the freezer, I'd transfer those as well. I have to at least give them a shot!

I was the recipient of donated embryos. If I can ecourage you to consider that as an option also...:) There are so many infertile couples who are on long wait lists for donations. Just wanted to share :)

We have 4 embies on freeze and will prob transfer 2 next time (i will be 35 or 36 then)after i have this one. With whatever is remaining we are donating to science or doing a compassionate transfer. That's when they transfer the embryos to your uterus at a point in your cycle where they could not attach to the uterus... st least they would be with me. I didn't feel comfortable donating to anyone else though bc they are my kids.

I have actually been thinking about this. I don't want to discard them but I also have reservations about someone else raising our children especially if I don't know them. I also don't want them being science experiments.??we opted to freeze whatever we have left over but I'm praying we have just enough for us to have a healthy baby(s).

I'm definitely leaning mist towards helping another couple if we have some left.

Not sure if it's strange but I would want to make sure they were with a good family of my approval.

If you donate embryos to to another couple, do you get to pick them? Or meet them?

That's great Carolyn.... ;)

We selected donate to another couple. We kind of did it because we wanted to help another couple with a baby and now that I'm actually going through the process i'm happy with our decision Bc thinking about getting rid of our perfectly good embryos just breaks my heart. It's hard because the thought of our kids being out there is scary but then again the other option was destroying them or science and that's not how I want them to end up. I look forward to hearing updates to how they're doing and knowing that they're still going strong makes me happy. I can't think about destroying them ?

I'm donating to science because mine have trisomy 8, and unbalanced translocations. :( I may look into being a donated embryo recipient!! No luck with donor eggs... Embryos are supposed to preserve better

MrsD. To me as long as the egg quality is great, I wouldn't care if they were 100 yrs old if it gave me a shot at being a parent lol.

I totally agree with you all! I thought I have the opportunity to help someone or a couple struggling with infertility here's my chance but my dh isn't up for it.

I think it's very noble of you ladies to want to give others the chance of being parent(s).

We donated our two. It didn't seem logical to us not to help someone else when we knew the pain of infertility. I considered how I felt about someone else carrying my child and realized if I believed that way, how could I possibly be ok with "discarding" that same child. It made the choice clear.

My eggs are too old for anyone to want lol

We have decided to donate to someone who is in need. We felt the embryos also deserve a chance plus someone who is not fortunate to have them on their own. So it's win win for everyone :)

That's so nice of you to want to help perfect strangers out...

I wanted to donate to another couple but dh wants to discard them. He has reservations about someone else carrying his children. Anyhow I'm going to probably go ahead with my dh's decision and discard them.

Thanks for responding!

Anyone else care to share what they will or have decided to do with their embryos?

Hi, well I didn't have any left over... But in case I had, we had decided to donate to another couple... I felt that if someone was not as fortunate as we are to have good embies, why not give them some hope... But my advice is to listen to what your heart tells you is the best choice for you.