It breaks my heart.
We lived in a shatty place for 4 years. There were 3 parks within half a block of us, but they were run down so I never took my daughter. We'd travel to where my dad lived to play with her only friend close to her age. My 'roomate' would bring her daughters and son over and they'd always play.
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It's like a whole other universe outside to her out there. I tought her she's allowed to say no when she wants to. Like if she doesn't want to give me, dad, or sister a hug she doesn't have to. She's really good with it at home, but the moment we're outside it's a 180.
Yeah, all kids are different. We though, as parents, have to try and teach are kids to be kind people. If not, how else are they going to learn???♀️ I know for one I don’t want dd to stay mean because if so what kind of adult will she be. She hasn’t to learn it somewhere. Dd has a lot of friends from both school and just playing outside and you best believe I watch her every move around other kids.
It was funny though literally 10 minutes later she was best friends with this little girl. This’s all starts at home though. I refuse to let dd be mean to ds. Cause sometimes she can say some really hurtful things to him. Yesterday she told him he had no friends only cousins and I did not let that slide, and only she had friends and that’s why she got invited to bdays and play dates ?
@pretty that's what bugs me too. I'm sitting there reminding my baby "hey be nice" even as i was talking with an older woman sitting at the table. She wasn't even not being nice lol, she tries to hold hands with others all the time i'm like "heyyyy sweetie, you have to ask". I was a loner around 5 and got bullied in my teens. So i'm not too familiar with this particular situation. But we all parent differently and handle things in our own ways. I can't assume they're like me and will do this or that.
I also told my mom about this and she said well welcome to motherhood! I told my mom it really bugged me when dd did stuff like this especially cause I know what it feels like I got tripped and pushed all the time as a kid and I know it broke my moms heart. Now I’m dealing with this and not letting dd get away with being mean to other kids. I can’t stand to see other kids get picked on by kids and then see there parents do absolutely nothing.
That’s really mean. Things like happened to my dd as well maybe not to that extent cause dd can give it right back.
Well, yesterday we were playing outside and this little girl wanted to play with dd. So dd played with her then at one point dd comes to me after hiding from the little girl. She looks me and I say, Bella why don’t you go play with so and so and just as the other girls mom is walking by she’s like because she’s and then she makes a grossed out face with her thumb down. Needless to say I was mortified. I took dd into the house and told her that was so uncalled for and asked her how she’d feel if the girl did that to her. Cause the girl was also standing right there. She also said to the little girl, “ well you know the thing is I don’t want to play with you and I wanna be alone” which I get whatever, but to hide from her and run from her was not cool. Needless to say after she went outside to get her toys she spent the rest of the time playing with her. Kids are fickle. She’ll find her niche, but I’m sry they did that that’s not nice at all.
I was a sweet kid and kids were also really mean to me so I get it. Everyday I got home from school I’d go to my room and just cry. Until about 3rd grade when I started making lifelong friends.
I'm thinking of joining my local Y, and trying out the daycare environment first since I feel it's more controlled. Then moving back to the park (I home school so she still gets to play at it when others are in school) with other kids if I feel she's established herself more, but take her to another park for that.
@anna I'm shy myself and I'm very wary of being authoritative towards other kids in that situation. Even if its just a "knock that off please and let her play". The mom could've seen me saying that and got upset towards me and I don't want any confrontations since we haven't been here long. I guess I was expecting her to say something when they ran over to her, as I was just casually reminding my dd "don't forget to be nice and ask first" "hey sweetie don't do that" often.
Idk, I want her to be able to talk and express her feelings herself because that's what we're trying to work on in speech.
My dd is very shy but I’ve tried to always make sure she knows it is okay to stand up for yourself.
Why didn’t you say anything to the other kids that were blocking her way? I would of went over there and said this area is for everyone to play so move over so she can play on the equipment as well.
I'm sorry youre dealing with this. It's ok to tell them kids not to act like that and it's not ok to be a bully.
I would give them a warning and if it continues firmly repeat it, 3rd time ask where their parents are or where they leave( doubt they'll tell you but still).
Some kids have no boundaries and that's how they play in the home with siblings.
I don't like that kinda play and won't tolerate it period. If they run and tell their parents even better.
Ugh. Dd has come to me crying before from kids being mean or not wanting to play with her. I recall one similar situation when there were 2-3 girls blocking the bottom of the slide not letting anyone slide down. Dd came and told me she wanted to slide but they wouldn’t let her. She had tried asking them nicely. You bet you ass I went over and told those girls that the slide is for everyone and they needed to let her go down it. After that they were besties and running around playing with each other. ??♀️
It’s hard to watch our kids get upset or bullied. My dd is also super sweet and sensitive. As time has gone on she has learned to hold her own. She used to stand back and wait until everyone was done to even get in line. Or she’d get out of line if another kid came up behind her. Now if she’s in line and another kid comes up and tries to cut she’ll put her arm out to block them.
Social skills have to be developed. Give it time. Just encourage her to express herself clearly to other kids like pp said. She’ll figure it out eventually. But only if she has the opportunity to.
@liz I believe the mom was sitting outside on her porch but on the phone the whole time. She happens to be a downstairs neighbor as well.
We found a park about 2 blocks away that her dad's going to take her to tomorrow so I can complete my homework.
I know how you feel...my daughter is like that too. Shes very sweet and very sociable and out going. Always trying to play with other kids (I was bullied as a kid and very anti social so it's new to me) anyways we were at the park the other day and she just wanted to make friends. She found some kids to play hide and seek. That was fine. They left. She moved on to another girl and the girl said "stop following me. Leave me alone" then my daughter just went to go play by herself. It broke my heart. I'm sorry that happened to you sweet girl too.
This would happen a lot to my now 6 year old when he was littler. He had a hard time sticking up for himself and telling other kids to stop doing things he didn't like. I have crippling social anxiety and have always had a hard time making friends, so it was soooo hard to watch him struggle. But he loved to play with other kids so I kept taking him to play and would constantly tell him "it's okay to say no" or "tell him to stop if you don't want to play like that." Eventually his confidence grew and he makes friends so quick now everywhere he goes. If a kid is mean to him he will sternly tell them "I don't want to play like that, leave me alone." And 99% of the time, the bully will back off. (The other 1%, the mama bear in me comes out and I will tell the kid myself to leave my kid alone lol). Anyway I guess my point is, take her to play, and she will learn how to stand up for herself. Don't let bullies ruin the playground for your baby :)
Aww that sucks! Don't let it discourage you from taking her back to the park though! There are lots of nice kids out there and hopefully you won't see those ones again. I had a similar situation with my son at the library, some older boys were being mean to him and he didn't realize it. I was so mad. Don't take it personally. Some kids parents just don't care enough to teach their children to be nice.
@lil that's how her Easter went as well. I walked upstairs to get her for dinner and I hear " no we're locking you in there" while they held the door shut on her
Aw man op. I’m sorry! On Easter my dd got her first dose of mean kids. She plays with anyone and is super sweet but the boys a few years older didn’t want to play with her and kept telling her “go back to your mommy” she came back so upset! (Literally yelling and stomping and pointing) I felt so bad I nearly cried right there! She didn’t understand and still wanted to play with them. I tried explaining that they were being mean and we don’t play with mean kids but she was still so upset. And since then as grew a little bit of an attitude but sticking up for herself.
I'm a mess. She see's these kids outside playing having fun and I look like a bad guy. I just don't know what to tell her ? she doesn't understand it completely.
@meggo that kid doing that was the sweetest thing ever but that's what put it all together.
I grew up being bullied a ton. So it sucks to see my baby go through it. ? she can see the playground from our window and she keeps asking to go play.
I hate my generation sometimes ?
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