Something we can all agree on (Possible Trigger)

I always ask dd before I do anything, even being her mom. I'll ask if I can have a kiss, hug, etc. If she tells me no I say "okay sweetie, I'll respect you". She loves tickle fights but the moment she says "stop" I stop.

I want to teach her that her words do have power and that when you say "no" or "stop" that person should stop. When she's older I'll talk to her about what to do in a situation like that and that she can come to me.

I don't want her to ever feel as helpless as I have..

What about relatives or ppl they hardly ever see tickling them and/or playing and picking them up and tossing them around etc. in a playful way. It's one thing of a close relative does things but someone that's only around once a year is so different. Drives me crazy. Or even relatives that are close (as in we see more often even if not emotionally close) that have had a weird past. It's not a right to get to hold and coddle or whatever a child especially if the child is not interested. This topic just gets me so sad/mad. It's such a hard topic. I bought some of American Girl books on teaching girls about their bodies and also a series "Gods Design for Sex" which teach boundaries and that it's okay to not give someone a kiss bye if you don't want to etc. It really is a hard thing in this society. We are so "politically correct" or have to try to be. But our children can get hurt if we don't stick up for them and go out on a limb and be a little rude.

As for how to teach your child not to be an attacker, I don't know. I honestly can't tell you what the answer is beyond teaching consent. I don't think the answer is as simple as "teach boys not to rape", especially since it's based in some sexist assumptions and acts as if the perpetrators don't know that rape is wrong. They all know that tape is wrong, the problem isn't that nobody told them or taught them otherwise. The problem is lack of empathy. And honestly, you can teach empathy to your kids, but whether they are empathetic people or not is, in my opinion, out of your hands.

Relay how important it is that you report the assault. Even if you're scared or ashamed. The ONLY way people get caught, and convicted, is with evidence, and if you don't report, and soon after, there is no evidence to be found. That being said, we need to start standing up to our legislators and demand that rape kits be processed in a timely fashion. The fact that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of unprocessed rape kits is absolutely unacceptable.

Stop forcing your kids to give hugs and kisses to people when they don't want to. Let them choose. I don't care if it's "rude" teach them that their bodies are theirs, and other people don't have a right to dictate what happens to their bodies. Yes, this means teaching them to say "no" even when it will hurt another person's feelings. It's important to teach them that other people's feelings don't have to dictate what they do.