Deal breaker.

Bj thing aside he told her point blank he didn't want to get married. If marriage is important to her something has to give...amd it may very well be him.

I didn't want to marry again after my divorce and then I met SO. I am now willing to marry again because it's something that is important to him.

I hate seeing women like your friend being stringed a long hoping the guy will eventually give in and do what they want. It just builds resent in a relationship.

It sounds like your friend needs to move on. Sooner than later.

Those are some major red flags, and he sounds like a narcissistic controlling a$$!

Someone who loves you and treats you well doesn't expect you to alienate yourself or put yourself in pain for their pleasure. I'm sorry, it just doesn't happen.

Yes, that's a huge deal-breaker. Yes, she should leave him. No, she shouldn't feel bad about it. Yes, she will find someone better.

Hes going to be an abusive husband, she needs to leave him asap or this relationship will suck her life away.

It doesn't seem like a good fit. If those are things that they both need in a relationship, they should be looking for someone who fulfills those needs or accepts their ways. If there are already ultimatums, it doesn't seem like a grand idea to just get married anyway. Marriage is a big deal, doesn't seem like it's taken very seriously in this case. It's not about him being "wrong" for wanting that, the fact is he wants something she can't give him. If it's that big of deal for him, he should find someone else. I don't think that's bad. It's better for him to say it now than for her to find out 7 years from now that his coworker is giving him head. And if she enjoys doing stuff like going to water parks, etc, she shouldn't have to ask for permission. She should find a more responsible way to get health insurance. Sounds honestly very childish to be making a decision like this.

I think the needing his permission to go out would be a deal breaker. He should have worded it as you can't go out as often (if she goes out alot) that just sounded too controlling to me.

However ya the bj thing would be way over controlling. I don't vendor doing it as my mouth is really small. So I don't very often.

Yeah... That's a no from me...

Definitely a "run forrest, run" moment ?

On the insurance issue- I didn't have to marry my so to be on his insurance. I'm from NY, I know that makes a difference as well as what he does for a living. We just had to prove that we lived together, and shared financial responsibility- shared bank accounts, and utility bills... With that being said: I don't think she should even go that far with this guy... That controlling nature will not go away ?

I wonder why his first marriage ended.

Sounds like a terrible person and partner.

Yeah there's a whole lot of nope written all over this relationship.

I'd say just off the marriage point alone she should go. They have been together long enough for him to be sure about marriage and if that's something she really wants then she needs to stop wasting time with this guy. My sister was with a guy for 8 yrs promising marriage and kids, which never prevailed and now she can't have kids.

The bj issue is just icing on the cake to make the case in why she shouldn't stick around.

lol golden that made me laugh. he sounds like a total douche bag.

No way should she marry him!!! First off she needs his permission to go out gtfo of here with that one!!! No way could/would I ever be with someone who asks that way. It's very controlling and will only get worse!!! And the bj thing is just ridiculous. He really doesn't care about her if he made a statement like that!!

She's definitely going to grow to hate him and it's easier to ditch him now than once they're married and he's had time to take her life apart.

Wtf who says that to someone!?

She should ditch him. He obviously isn't 100% caring for her. He should respect and be understanding to her health. As for the controlling it will get worse. He will see her as property if they marry.

So basically he only wants to marry her if she stays home all day and sucks his dick? ??In all honesty he sounds controlling and that will only get worse. He's got a warped view of what marriage is about.

She needs to move on.

I agree pp. she should move on. There's no point wasting her time with someone so controlling.

She should move on to some one who truly cares about her. There is more to a relationship then giving blow jobs.