Mom.life

Accidentally called my friend fat???

Ugh. So my coworker who I'm very close with is very insecure about her weight. She was upset this morning because she commented to another coworker that she liked her shirt. Other woman told her she should come raid her closet sometime because they are the same size. She's very upset and offended by this remark because she thinks this woman is fat.

04.06.2014

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Isn't that nice to see a happy ending for once?

01.02.2015 Нравится Ответить
pandalicious

Funny postscript to this story as long as it's been bumped. This incident inspired her to lose weight and she did. Now she looks fantastic AND she's happy with herself.

Sometimes happy endings happen. Lol.

01.02.2015 Нравится Ответить

She needs to get over it!!!

01.02.2015 Нравится Ответить

I was looking for something and I couldn't resist. Is it that big off a deal? -_-

01.02.2015 Нравится Ответить

Lmao

01.02.2015 Нравится Ответить

Her self image is not your fault.

04.06.2014 Нравится Ответить

She needs to get over it. Sounds to me like she is over weight but not wanting to admit it. If she wants to be immature and bratty then let her. At least your honest and didn't tell her she looked like Barbie.

04.06.2014 Нравится Ответить

Why don't you try helping her lose weight. I'm definitely not saying you do or don't need to. But maybe that would be something that she'd be up too. If that would even be something you would be up too.

04.06.2014 Нравится Ответить
pandalicious

We talked about it in detail after work. She's not upset with me. It's one of those things where a bunch of factors culminated and it was the straw that broke the camel's back. She knows its all due to her low self esteem and that she overreacted. She felt guilty all morning for snapping at me. Everything's good.

04.06.2014 Нравится Ответить

Ima big girl too its hard for me to find pretty clothes i would be happy if someone my size said i could go raid their closet lol

04.06.2014 Нравится Ответить

I get it. I asked my dh how much he thinks I gained pp (been eating like a pig) and he said 10lbs! I pouted and glared at him all night. Weighed myself and only gained 1lb! Made me more crabby. Learned a lesson though, don't ask or comment about my weight to anyone.. Lol

Don't worry, she'll get over it. Sometimes you just need to throw a stupid fit.

04.06.2014 Нравится Ответить

Well glad you are talking again; the fact that she cried all morning is pretty dramatic (and this is coming from someone who has struggled with weight their entire life).

Honestly, if anyone should be offended in this scenario it's the other coworker! Could you imagine insinuating someone is the same size as you and they cried all morning because of that....... Ummm ouch!

I know it's hard not to feel badly because if you are anything like me you have an extremely guilty conscience over even the tiniest issues. But let me tell you, you did absolutely nothing wrong.

I hope the other coworker doesn't find out about your friends attitude/reaction, now that would be awkward :/

04.06.2014 Нравится Ответить
pandalicious

We are talking again. She said she cried all morning. I still feel bad, despite knowing its her issue. I hate to be the one to upset her. But things are ok between the two of us.

04.06.2014 Нравится Ответить

Try not to feel bad, she is the one judging the other woman not you. If she thought the woman looked alright she wouldn't have taken offence in the slightest. Sometimes people are off in how they perceive themselves. It reminds me of when this girl I know gave me a shirt she got as a gift. Apparently it was wayyyyy too huge for her so she figured she would give it to me lol. A very rude thing to say considering I would say we were basically the same size. I just bit my tongue and didn't let it affect our friendship.

I bring this up because basically if she wants to believe "I'm overweight but at least I'm not like her" meh let her, she's clearly insecure and it's not your fault. She shouldn't be mad at you for not wanting to bash the other woman's size. What did she expect you to say "oh the nerve of that woman offering to share clothing with you when she's clearly an elephant".

She'll get over it, don't let her silly opinion eat at your conscience, you did nothing wrong.

04.06.2014 Нравится Ответить

Well, if you're fat you're fat. She should just embrace it. She knows and everyone else knows it. If she's insecure about she should work on fixing it. That's how it goes.

04.06.2014 Нравится Ответить

I'm sorry. She has things to work through. She shouldn't be mad at you. And deep down she's really not. She's feeling badly about herself, and taking it out on others. Hopefully, she will come back around.

04.06.2014 Нравится Ответить

Your friend needs to get over it.

04.06.2014 Нравится Ответить

That's rough, but she will get over it. She sounds extremely insecure and that is her own problem not yours. People who are insecure make their problems other peoples problems. Don't feel bad, there was really no right thing to say in that situation.

04.06.2014 Нравится Ответить
pandalicious

She's already in counseling. She and I have gotten extremely close over the last year because she has just gotten divorced so we have a lot in common to contend with right now.

04.06.2014 Нравится Ответить

She was clearly in denial about it and now that she realizes she is bigger than she thought, that might be the push she needs. :)

04.06.2014 Нравится Ответить

Awww, I know hun, it shows that you aren't going put your way to purposely hurt her. I mean this is one of those situations like when a man gets asked "do I look fat in these jeans" and they take too long to respond, cuz damn if you do, damn if you don't. Her reaction at a work place, for something personal like that tells me that she needs to work her issues out, whether she is already seeing a nutrionist or not, she needs to talk to someone professional that can help her deal with this emotional problem. She is letting it get in the way of her day to day functions which can become problematic. Try not to let it get you down, this issue stems far past a reaction you gave her.

04.06.2014 Нравится Ответить
pandalicious

That's exactly it tiny. She's unhappy with her size. She got upset with something our boss said a week or two ago and when we discussed it I told her that it bothers her so much because she's unhappy with herself. It doesn't matter what he says unless its something you feel is true that you're upset about.

The thing is, she isn't even that big. I would never consider her "fat". She is somewhat overweight but not a lot. I just feel bad that I hurt her feelings.

04.06.2014 Нравится Ответить

Ummmm, well it sounds like she is in denial. I know I'm a big girl so someone saying something like that if they are similar/ same weight, wouldn't offend me. She shouldn't be upset with you, she is being very sensitive, which I understand cuz weight issues can be tough, but she needs to be honest with herself. Hope she comes around, mamas.

04.06.2014 Нравится Ответить
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