No one ever told me... That so much of being a mom is about poop

No one told me that my hips would get wide and never go back!

And that I'd be smelling someone's butt to see which of my babies pooped.

No one told me about carpal tunnel and how painful it is let alone that it would last even after the baby comes.

No one told me I'd break out all over my face like a teenager during and after baby....also I almost never got pimples as a teen/adult. I thought it was supposed to be a beautiful pregnancy glow!

They never told me how much my ribs would hurt. ?

No one told me that I would turn into a lazy bum with no motivation to do anything but go to the refrigerator for a pickle every five minutes then gag for the rest of the day

No one told me about the not being able to shave your own beave cause you can't see it..

Nobody ever told me that I would get pimples just about everywhere on my face including my neck. It's utterly f*** ing ridiculous!

Nobody ever told me that after 30 minutes of standing on my feet they would swell up and be in pain to where I want to cut them off!

No one ever told me how jealous I would become during pregnancy.

Or about how heavy the baby gets but how he still moves around like he's tiny hurting and stretching my stomach :(.

No one told me I would eat my weight in food lol

No one mentioned that straight after birth the contractions continue when you breast feed.. Not cool!

No one ever told me how hard pregnancy is on your joints. Ouch!

I'm so relieved to see I'm not the only one with a hairy tummy!

I never thought id be happy with all the kids in bed@ 8:30 and i semi clean home. Kids lol

The fuzzy belly surprised me and sure there is more to come..

That I would have broken blood vessels all over my face from throwing up so violently while pregnant. They took over a year to go away!

That its possible for vomit to be so thick you can choke on it, swallow it and then throw it up all over again!

That after giving birth it's possible for your butt hole to hurt more than your vagina...it happened.

That my insides would never go back exactly the way they used to be. Hard to explain but my innards feel loose and I'm 2 years pp.

I'm sure there's more but can't think of anything else right now. :)

The other week I was looking in the mirror at my belly thinking "oh looks like I'll get the linea negra." Look down "nope, just belly hair" ?

No one ever told me my bladder would become virtually non existent. I knew pregnancy made you pee a lot, but geez...

Aghh!! I'm in early pregnancy and I was not prepared for any of these things ! ?

That your pelvis is two pieces and can basically rip apart and cause excruciating pain for the majority of your pregnancy.

That it is possible to be in full blown active labor and not have a clue.

No one told me that after a certain point in your pregnancy your skin on your stomach would feel like it was ripping all day every day. Lol I know I've been b*tching about that a lot on BB lately but this sh*t HURTS! every time I sneeze I think my belly button is gonna tear.

Yeah going bald is icing on the cake of how your body is against you!! All that for a drunk hobo but so worth it!

Oh and nobody ever told me I'd lose half the hair on my head after giving birth.

Kinderash - thankfully yes!

Nobody told me how tired and out of breath I would be all the time!! And I understand the emotions, but don't understand how some things that should make me cry don't but things like dropping a cookie I wanted really bad makes me want to bawl my eyes out in a very irrational manner because now I can't eat it! Lmao

Does the hairy belly go away??

Bahahaha irrational drunk hobo. I'm gonna use that!

That I would have to share so much of my food.

"Nobody touches Joey's fries!"

Noone told me during pregnancy your nipples will look like giant oatmeal raisin cookies.

That dealing with toddler is dealing with irrational drunk hobo all day.