I would have said: "Oh so you're not REALLY a Christian. You know, someone that doesn't judge."

I don't think your overreacted and it makes sense that those kind of comments would hurt your feelings. That was very rude of her. It's not about the wedding it's about the marriage.

What kind of church do you go to? When my husband and I first got married we did a court house wedding because he was shipping overseas. Our faith doesn't recognize marriage outside of the church, so we were married in the church a year later. But our church wedding didn't "count" because of a dress or a cake, it mattered because it was a sacrament.

If the only reason she said you weren't really married was because of material things then that is really silly. Either way she shouldn't have been snarky about it!

We did the same thing last year because we had no money and our families in ohio disowned us basically because neither one wanted us together. We have been talking about having a big ceremony like i always wanted down the road and now that we are in georgia with family who actually wants to be in our lives we might do it within a few years.

I'm Catholic, but I wasn't a practicing Catholic when I married my non-Catholic husband. We were married in a park by my friends dad who happens to be a pastor. When we started attending church again and joined a parish we were asked to go through convalidation which is where our union would be blessed by the father and recognized by the church. I wonder if that is what she meant when she said it wasn't a real marriage. Not that it was small rather that the ceremony had not been performed by a religious figure. It was rude either way, but I wonder if she did not mean to be as rude as she came across?

That's completely absurd. Lol bc tht STUFF is what the wedding is about. ?

Some studies have said that the less you spend on your wedding the longer you will be married.

My husband and I were in different countries when we got married, 1000s of miles away from each other. We never even said vows. We're still married & so are you!

That's stupid...I honestly wish we would've just went to a courthouse or eloped. Too much stress for the wedding and we went into too much debt. A "real" wedding is not where you have it or what you wear or how much you spend. A wedding does not make the marriage.

Yes I was going to say exactly that! PP beat me to it! ?

It's not the wedding that matters, it's the marriage that happens afterwards.

Dh and I had a courthouse wedding as well, I wore a cheap white dress, he wore a nice shirt and black slacks. Both of us were miserable bc we were sick as dogs but loved each other so much that we pushed through and got married. I've had a few moments where I felt like we should've had a big wedding but honestly SOOO glad we didn't. I didn't want to go in debt over something so frivolous that would only last a day. I read a study month ago that said young couples who spend a ton of money on a wedding are actually MORE likely to get a divorce bc of how much debt they go in over it. Super grateful we had a super cheap wedding and our families paid for our engagement party and the tiny reception we had a year later.

That old lady needs to mind her business and stick a cork in it. ?

I wouldn't of even told her. But then again

I'm also quite an anti social b**** ?

That's terrible. How you chose to get married is nobody's business I didn't have a huge wedding and I could care less what anyone thinks. You know you're married you both are happy and love each other that's all that matters don't let some judgy old lady make you feel bad.

I got married in a church because of my parents dh and I were going to do it through JP, I see nothing wrong as long as you take vows serious, love your partner and cherish every moment spent together.

She's ridiculous! My husband and I chose to get married at the courthouse. My mom was battling cancer, we'd been engaged almost 2 years due to his deployment. We were ready, didn't want to waste a ton of money for one day. We did have rings, he wore his dress blues, I wore a wedding dress. We had about 10 people there. Even if it had been less we wouldn't have been disappointed. It was about us, that's what mattered. Just passed our 5 year wedding anniversary January 20th. ?

I had the same situation and in 2014 I had my 10 year vow renewal wedding. Before then ppl in my family would always say, it is like you skipped graduation and just picked up ur diploma instead lol.

I got married just like you no ring no dress. No one has ever made a comment like this to me. They say something like "hey when's the big wedding going to be"? But just answer with a later in time lol.

I would be Mad af if they said "then your not married"

The size of the wedding has nothing to do with the strength of your marriage. Like you, my husband and I had a small civil service and recently celebrated our 10 year anniversary. Many of our friends who criticized us for having a small wedding are already married and divorced. Screw what anyone else thinks. Congrats on your upcoming anniversary! 10 years is a huge milestone. Enjoy every minute of your special celebration.

Right?? @indigo

I wish I would have said back something smart, but I was kind of dumbfounded at the time. This church has a reputation for disliking people like us, I guess it might be true.

So this was at a church? You should have said, oh so you aren't a REAL Christian since I know some other real Christians who aren't judgmental towards other people...

Eta: or insert whatever your particular religious belief may be. ☺

I hate it when people are judgy like that. Me and my husband were married at city hall. Just because we didn't spend a fortune doesn't mean we aren't married, that's just BS.

Well if it requires a divorce paper to be signed for yall to separate then I think it counts. Jk! How insensitive and rude of her to say that. YOUR marriage is what you had and no one else. All marriages are different. There isn't a "rule".

This reminds me of my parents who were told by my aunt that the only reason they got married was to a have a drinking partner and it would never last. Well 40 years on they're still going strong whereas that aunt has a failed marriage and many failed relationships behind her. She had the "real" marriage and my parents had a registry office wedding with 10 guests. How you do it means nothing, how you live your life together is what counts. That woman should have stfu. It's not the party that makes the marriage and a Christian would know that.

Oh my goodness. I'd be so mad! Some people don't know when to keep their opinions to themselves. Don't let it bother you. You're married. It doesn't matter what she thinks. But I'd still be annoyed as all get out. :-/ . Hang in there mama.