I’m so relieved to hear that. ?? that more will be done to keep all your kiddoes safe

Sorry for the wait ladies. Sorry started having health problems again. About to make a 2hr drive up to my OB because of troubles.

Another parent expressed their concerns over the matter and the pastor has previously not been aware of the issue. The boy has been pulled from the age classes but is still welcomed to sit with his parents during the sermon upstairs.

Update.

I'm very curious as to what happened.

It sounds like that mom needs some support. I really hope and pray your church can help find her the resources and support that she and her son need at this time.

Again, it's such a hard position to be in. The need to protect the kids, and the calling to minister to these people who are in desperate need of spiritual intervention. I'll be praying for your whole church!

Update??

@whoos not church is still going. I think someone else beat me to it, but I’m still going to bring it up.

Did you discuss your concerns with the pastor?

Update: I think someone else said something because today the mom was crying and went up during prayer requests. And her son sat with her all morning and didn’t go down to classes.

I'm not sure how it would work for a minor but I can't believe parents never contacted police. I feel like no matter what age that boy obviously has severe mental health problems and needs some sort of treatment, and probably should not be around young kids. Just because he is a minor doesn't mean the urges to be a perv to younger kids goes away. Not to say the boy hasn't had treatment, who knows, but he absolutely would not be allowed near my children and I would make sure the school/church knew my concerns. What a scary situation!

I am so curious why the police were never notified? Where I live when kids break the law to that extent then they are sent to a boys home. Where they are allowed no access to be outside world basically. They sleep, eat, go to school in one building. They would also receive all their medical care and counseling there. And after so long of being there they are eventually released to go back home, or wherever the state sees fit.

Personally, I would probably notify the police. Since there might not currently be anything happening, maybe they would at least be willing to look into it because it sounds like that kids has also gone through some awful things.

@mhhh yes. He was banned from camp, expelled from school, and asked to leave a 4-H club. I doubt the school could expel him if they didn’t have proof of the actions.

And the church camp incident was eventually shared by the victims mother. A year later

Have these allegations against him been verified?

@MrsLuna I agree! Minor or not he is dangerous. Just last month we had a kid from the local highschool get expelled for making gun school shooting threats, but the school couldn’t release his name because he was a minor! Luckily I found out because my sister is a senior. But turns out this kid is BEST FRIENDS with this boy, and he also attends the church. ??

People shouldn’t keep stuff like this secret this is how the predators win, by exposing them and letting everyone know other children can be protected. That kid sounds like a psycho “ I see him all the time “ wth??

@Kay of course I’m going to tell the church. Even if he hasn’t done anything, everyone still needs to be aware of the potential. I’m going to be really upset if the church already knew and didn’t think other parents needed to know.

I would honestly talk to the parents of the boy. You have no idea what kind of help he is getting. I would assume this is a learned behavior. I don’t think the boy should be shunned from every place he goes without knowing the details. A lot of details can get twisted around.

NOW THAT BEING SAID I DO THINK YOU NEED TO PROTECT YOUR KIDS AND THE KIDS IN THE CHURCH! But i wouldn’t leave. I would make it know to everyone in charge. I would personality do it.

This boy clearly need helps and resources on what is correct and how to behave. I would want to help him. Before long he will be 18 and won’t need an adult watching over him. Yes your not his parents but it takes a village to raise kids. Maybe the parents are working really hard with him and he’s becoming a totally different kid. (Again i still would not risk my kids safety and leave them alone with him). Fine out details before you jump to the worst conclusion of up rooting your whole family

Awana has some great ideas. And for your own peace of mind being with your children until you see that results/changes are being made to protect all the church’s children. The scary thing is how often do these things happen without us knowing of them so we as parents to some extent have to have certain measures in place to begin with. And sounds like you are doing just that. Praying it all turns out well and that the pastor and all involved will take you seriously and take appropriate measures. Seems so sad for the boys sake and for all the children he is around for this to go undealt with.

I think you need to speak up regardless if this child has interaction with your child or not. You need to make this known, especially in an environment like a church where people assume others are good intentioned and they can let their children roam safely

I could never live with myself if this boy did something to a child and I could have made others aware of his predatory behavior. If he's done it before he'll do it again, especially if presented with the opportunity.

Pp, I think that’s a good way to handle the situation.

@Awan thank you for the insight. I’m really hoping something can be done. The kids love their teachers and classes. And we have been so involved in this church that leaving would really break our hearts. Tomorrow is the first Sunday since I found out so it will definitely be on my mind all day tomorrow. I’m going to go talk to his teacher to ask if older children help with the class (I don’t think they do) and I’ll also voice my concerns to the pastor and the head deacon.

Definitely not something I ever imagined having to do.

I don't usually post, I'm such a lurker, but I am in charge of children's ministries at my church, so I wanted to give a church leader perspective.

First, I think you need to make leadership aware. Not just your senior pastor, but whoever is in charge of the youth and whoever is in charge of the children, whether they are paid or volunteer. If they do not have this information they cannot do their job to protect the children entrusted to their care, and they cannot walk alongside this boy's family to help them with these issues either. I'm really hoping that this boy is getting some counseling by a professional therapist. At our church, we would also set him and his parents up to receive counseling from our pastor of counseling (we are a larger church, I know not every church can do this).

As the children's director I would make it known to his parents that he is not allowed in the children's ministry area at all, with or without supervision. He would not be allowed to serve in children's ministry at our church, ever. We would also set him up with an accountability partner. Someone to monitor him during services when his parents are not going to be with him, and help direct him and disciple him outside of church. I know we would require either the accountability partner or a parent to be with this child 100% of the time he is on our campus.

I speak from experience - we have had an issue similar to this arise in our church. The difficulty is the tension between protecting the children and ministering to a boy and his family that need the Holy Spirit's intervention so desperately. The family at our church ended up leaving because they thought our requirements were too strict. While they were still here, though, I never let my children go anywhere alone. They went to the bathroom with a parent, they were walked to there Sunday School classes, where I personally delivered them into the care of the teacher.

At this point, I would go to the pastor one on one. If nothing is done to ensure childrens' safety, I would leave this church. I'm all about forgiveness, but just because you forgive doesn't mean you need to endanger someone again just because YOU have forgiven. I would have a very hard time focusing in church because I would constantly be worried about my child. Nope nope nope. Something gets done, or you find a new church!

in our church, youth group and older kids help out with the younger children classes(supervised over course) but they do the puppets for wiggle worship and things like that. maybe thats how he knows your child. if your church is the same then it definitely needs to be made aware to everyone in charge so this child is not allowed to help or attend in any children events. i would request that he has to be supervised at all times(with a teacher or parent escort). its a horrible situation but he made horrible choices and they shouldnt be able to just switch churches and act like it never happened, regardless of his age...that kid needs help.

I think if I were in that situation I would talk to the pastor one on one so he can keep you updated on the situation. If you do the anonymous letter, if the pastor has any questions/concerns how does he proceed? You can also tell the pastor about the movie theater, and how that made you uncomfortable. Then if after you speak to them if you don’t get the resolution you want, then I would look for a new church.

I would stop goin to that church. But if that not an option.

If u have no proof it’s all hear say. I would talk to my son about sick people and tell him to stay away from him and never be alone with him.

I am going to write a “concerned church member” letter have have it anonymously mailed to the pastor. Im not sure what he can/will do about it but hopefully once he is aware of the situation he can make the church safer.

If the boy continues to go to church then we will have to leave.

@Robin as far as I know nothing legal other than being expelled has ever been done. But the boy would have been 10-11 at this time so idk how they deal with minors.

Good morning ladies. Sorry I need to clarify a few things.

This family is new to this church. The church camp was hosted by a different church in a different town.

My current church got a new pastor 6 months ago, so I believe he doesn’t know about the si situation. That’s why I wanted to talk with him.

This isn’t a church coverup, but it is a small town coverup it feels like. This all happened before this family came to this church. So I don’t believe anything has happened to the boy here. I do believe that he was probably thought his behavior by someone though.

I seriously don’t get how this kid is still allowed to attend this church. That family needs to be exiled out.

I’m all for forgiveness and what not but I still have my memory and will never forget. I would def leave.

The awkwardness has to be palpable amongst all the families involved.

I’m sorry you are having to deal with this OP. This boy couldn’t have gotten this behavior from thin air. Someone probably did the same exact thing to him and now he is mirroring his abuser... I would definitely leave that church... also something think about would be if someone in the church did something that child...

Was anything legal ever done? I mean this kid hurt these other children and still attends the same church where his victims are? Is the church covering this up? This doesn’t make a lot of sense

Honestly the fact he looked at you and said that about your son I’d go all out and if he still went to that church then I’d leave. I’d take no chances. A lot of ppl think church is a safe place but bad things happen there just like anywhere else. It’s up to us as parents to make sure our children are not left unattended. I don’t know the size of your church or the age of Sunday School teachers or how your church does things but it might help to find a church that doesn’t break up the family, or if it has age separated classes then legitimate teachers and no times where the children are left to themselves at all. Like for me that church camp is not let my child to. The church we currently attend does Family Camp so it’s like old fashioned summer camp but our entire family camps put together and while we do have different devotional groups by age, the children are as monitored as we parents feel comfortable with.

@Phoe It’s definitely something I never thought I’d have to deal with. But I’m glad my son knows when to talk to a teacher. I seriously want this boy GONE though. I’m disgusted. And no worries I typed it up pretty quickly so i understand if it’s a little confusing to read

I think you handled that perfectly. The best we can do is teach our kids how to protect themselves and their innocence for those times we can’t be there. Well done. Sorry for misreading the first time!

@Phoe this boy is 13 he isn’t helping out with any classes he is in an older kids class.

100% positive this isn’t gossip. Apparently a lot of people knew when it happened but didn’t want it spread because their kids had been victims.

Oh gosh. I’m sorry I read that wrong- I thought that he was helping in your child’s class...

Seeing it a little differently, I think there are MANY sickos who attend church services and that’s why it’s so important to be involved. I don’t trust everyone at church just because I’m at church. I will believe the best about them but I won’t let them be alone with my kids.

I would talk to the pastor and ask him what he suggests.

Okay ladies I had a talk with him and I found out my boy is definitely a snitch (thank the lord) I asked him if he’s ever seen someone’s weiner and he told me how once in school his cousin peed outside during recess and he told the teacher on him and got him in trouble. And that his behavior was disgusting. ?

He said that was it, but I showed him a photo of the kid just in case and he does know him, but not enough to know his name. And I asked if he hugs this boy and he told me no. I told him to be honest and let me know if this boy ever tried to hug him or anything else.

And to tell someone if ANYONE tries to touch his weiner.

So I feel much better now after that. But I’m going to be making some calls tomorrow for sure.

(To add some info: this family has been in the same 4-H group that my grandma teaches geology in, that’s how the kid knows me and that I’m Renzos Mom. But Renzo isn’t in 4-H yet)

First of all, are you sure this wasn’t gossip?

If it’s true, I have problems with churches that do not go through extensive background checks bc of these sorts of things. I would tell the pastor and I would make sure he does something about it. I wouldn’t leave the church just because of this. But as church leadership they need to be taking their leadership responsibilities very seriously. They need to make it public knowledge that this kid is dangerous so other parents are aware and he should NEVER be allowed to help with kids again. Yes I’m all about forgiveness but that has nothing to do with church leadership’s massive responsibility to care for their “flock”/members/congregants

If your pastor doesn’t do anything, I would leave the church after telling the pastor and other leaders or elders that they are compromising the safety of the people God put under their charge. I would also file a formal complaint with law enforcement. If that kid is a registered sex offender, law enforcement needs to make sure he stays away from children.

These sorts of issues really make me realize the necessity of being a part of church membership. When people get involved serving other people in their local church without any accountability things can get scary very fast- especially when it comes to children.

How scary this must be for you. I think you do have the responsibility to talk to the other pastor and make sure the kid is removed from helping with other kids. It’s the most loving thing to do. I know you’d be horrified if you found out he violated anyone else. Not that it would be your fault in any way shape or form. I just mean you would more likely have a clear conscience knowing you did what you could to ensure the safety of others. I’ll be praying for wisdom for you.

Mention it to your Pastor! I would have said what exactly does that mean? How would he know that your his parents? I would have said something right then. Definitely tell people.

I would play it safe & do all of the above, switch churches, tell the pastor your concerns about other kids' safety & also tell police your concern. What about the other kids? Im sure their parents are unaware of the potential evil that lurks among them. I'm curious why he's just roaming around like nothing. No juvenile detention?

This made me nauseous ... Thats so scary hopefully someone does something about that kid . Ill try talking to your son about if anything odd has happened and how he knowz the kid. Ill talk to the kids parents idk something needs to be done that kid is insane !

@Shayy this stuff happened last year in a SMALL TOWN and I’m just finding out about it. I can’t believe this has been kept secret idc if he is a minor he is a DANGER.

The way he looked me in the eyes and said “I see him all the time” literally made me want to puke. I can’t wait to go home to my baby and talk to him.

I just got chills down my spine. I'd be extra and get a restraining order, that's just me though.