@melek.eldar, my husband actually knows how to clean and cook and wash clothes ... he just tells me he doesn’t want to do it. When we used to live with his mom and sister and her child he used to help a little by at least cleaning the bathroom but over the years he has gotten worst and now that we have our own apartment he just won’t do anything at all... I’m surprised he would even change Zach but that’s only if I tell him to check him and change him....

@mitiacarolina3 I mean try, don't get tired. This is your family, struggle, don't give it up so easily.

My husband was also so messy, like very very messy , because he was tbe last child in the family, his mother and sisters used to take care if him, he never cleaned his mess. And after our marriage i also never told him to clean or help me, but after the birth of our son j had little time and so many things to do and i had less energy. My husband was very selfish and never tried to understand. So i started talking to him, i talked so many times, i started asking him to help me , do this do that, i started teling and showing him how exhausted i am. After almost one and a half year he started helping me.And he now knows that its very hard to di the housework , to take care of our son and him. I mean i did it.

@mitiacarolina3 Yyes honey, so you have to bring him up again, i know you need patience , but if you love your family and you want to keep it up, you will succeed in the end. Just be patient.

Let me tell you my story shortly..

@melek.eldar, I’m trying and I think the problem is that he never had responsibilities before because like I said his mom always took care of him and there was no stable man in his life

@mitiacarolina3 this is just my opinion, please pardon me if I'm am saying something wrong.

@mitiacarolina3 yeah, but honey, this is not the reason to end the relationship. Because no one is perfect, sometimes it requires a lot of time to change someone's behaviour. And its very hard for the kids when the parents split up. So in my opinion should be patient and keep talking to him.

@melek.eldar, he’s jus selfish and lazy

@mitiacarolina3 oh, thats why you are tired and enough of him. So what you wann do then? 😔

@melek.eldar, yes I did I explained it to him and asked for him to see if the way I did and how much is on me. He says he’s gonna help but then just sits down and goes on his phone

@mitiacarolina3 there is a big difference between just telling him clean his mess and to talk to him like a human, to explain how hard it is for you, how you need his help and support. Did you try to do it?

Screw them! They don't have to live with him. Neither do you.

@mhbbb2, I was thinking about marriage counseling and I mentioned it but he doesn’t think there’s a problem... he tells me how everyone says he’s a good man and that there are women who would kill to have what I have

But what are YOU going to DO about it? Obviously nothing's changed and it's been years. Counseling maybe? You already gave an ultimatum.

@mhbbb2, the last time we talked I told him if he doesn’t get his shit together in leaving him again and going back to New York and they the day before yesterday he calls me from work talking about he’s gonna do something to show me he appreciates me but I’m like dude no you don’t... I’m like your live in nanny/maid who you want to have sex with often and I told him I’m tired of him

@mitiacarolina3 well if you're unhappy you need to put your foot down and stop falling for the same crap. Nothing changes if nothing changes. He won't try at all if he knows that you'll stay no matter what.

@mhbbb2, I keep telling myself that but I keep falling for the same promises and lines

Just remember you don't have to settle bc you have a child together.

@mhbbb2, I’ve been dealing with it for years but now that there a baby involved idek anymore...

Tell him you need a partner not another child. And if he doesn't change you either have to keep dealing with it or end the relationship. Is it something you can continue to deal with ?

He saw me washing the dishes and Zach was crying, instead of him trying to comfort him, my husband asks me if there’s a bottle already made so he didn’t have to make one

@mitiacarolina3, this sounds like my SO. And yeah it gets very frustrating sometimes. Mine likes to just enjoy himself wit no disregard to what’s happening or how I feel

@melek.eldar, yeah I did I try all the time and he does nothing but say “yeah I got you” and just does whatever anyway... and if I don’t do it he just makes a bigger mess

Did you try to talk to him about that?

And the whole time I was trying to clean up, our son was screaming in his seat in front of him and he just laid back and went back to sleep

@mhbbb2, it’s more like he wants a mother instead of a wife .... he doesn’t cook, clean, wash clothes or help with our son. All he does is sleep, drop his clothes off wherever he takes them off, if he uses the bathroom it’s pee and butt dirt on and under the toilet, when he eats he leaves the dishes on the table, he’ll eat something with a wrapper and leave it on the floor or the table... I have to beg him to take the trash out and even then like just now I moved it by the door for him but instead he sat down on the couch and started snoring

Does he treat you like crap?