I think if your partner only stays faithful because they're not "allowed" ever speak to or be friends with people of the opposite sex, that's not necessarily a good thing. I'd want my partner to be faithful despite there being other women around. Otherwise it's more ownership than relationship in my opinion.

I think it depends on the situation. We used to have a neighbor who was actually a woman I knew from college. We became really good friends while we were neighbors and my husband became friends with her too. They were both students and sometimes would hang out and do homework together when I was working and he occasionally texted her. I see nothing wrong with that scenario. We were all friends. Now if he was suddenly interacting a bunch with some chick I had never met it would be a different story.

I think it's not conducive to a long happy forever marriage/partnership to be controlling of what the other person does or who they do it with.
Respect goes both ways and like a prev poster said, the same boundaries are for both single and married people.

I just spent a week interstate visiting a good friend and his wife. When I was a teen, this friend crushed on me but it was one sided and we have remained friends the last 13 years and in this time we have both met our current partners. I am not super close with his wife nor is he with my partner or vice versa but everyone likes and respects each other and no one has ever given another party any reason for distrust. As far as I am concerned, my friend married her therefore even if we are not joined at the hip, I respect and love her as I do him.
We're adults and I don't believe in being told or telling someone else what they can or cannot do.

I agree but it should be a mutual decision, rather than the wife forcing it. My dh doesn't hang out with other women because he genuinely does not want to, not because I prohibit it.

Plus he can't stand most other women ?

May be some insecurities talking, but I kind of agree with this. BUT, my situation is a little weird. SO and I started as best friends, nothing more. And developed into what we are now. So that in itself makes me a little insecure when it comes to his other female friends. I don't necessarily mind that he talks to other females, but there's a certain way it should be done. On his phone, there were messages between him and another female where he was sending goodmorning/goodnight messages to and I felt that was inappropriate. Also, dont talk about our personal life with another female. Would I like it if he stopped talking to other women all together? Yes lol I'd feel much better. But I'd never ask him to do that.

ETA: as soon as we got together, I deleted all males off snapchat and haven't replied to any messages I've gotten from any male. I just feel that's the respectful thing to do. So therefore, I don't find my expectations unreasonable.

Sounds controlling, but I agree.

My boyfriends best friend is a single female. Am I concerned in the slightest? Absolutely not, I trust him 110%

I believe people of the opposite gender can be just friends.

Pp if you don't mind me asking, have you ever felt emotionally connected on a deeper level to your best friend during your relationship with SO? Like have you ever truly thought I should have picked him over so? Or ever wonder a hypothetical relationship with your best friend?

False.
My best friend is a male.
Said male is playing PlayStation with my SO right now.

That's an interesting read pp. thanks for sharing that! ?

My husband and I both have friends of the opposite sex. It really isn't an issue at all. Occasionally I even go to lunch with a male friend (who is also married). Neither my husband or his wife have any issues with it either. They know where we're having lunch and when and are free to "check on us" if they feel like it's necessary.

I agree, same the other way around too. Now dh has women who text or message him due to business, but if they are texting him just to ask about his day? Inappropriate

Bump

There's a huge difference between being friends with people of the opposite sex and doing all the things listed on here. That's a little too much. Confiding in a man (that isn't your partner) and telling him private things and talking on the phone and such is something you should only do with your partner. You can have friends of opposite sex I just don't think it's okay to this extent.

The trouble comes when you start investing more in those friends, time wise, emotion wise, in thought ect.

To quote part of the link:

"Your wife's relationship with her co-worker probably began with ordinary conversation about work-related issues that developed into intimate conversation when they talked about their personal problems. It was probably very innocent at first, because neither understood that they were making massive deposits into each other's Love Banks. But before long, those deposits triggered intense feelings of love that they communicated to each other, and the rest is history.

What happened to your wife, happens thousands of times every day to husbands and wives who feel they should be able to have friends of the opposite sex. They don't see the danger of falling in love when their intimate emotional needs are met outside of marriage. They usually understand that sex is off limits. But they rarely see intimate conversation (communication of emotional reactions and personal problems) as the first step to an affair. If enough Love Bank deposits are made to trigger romantic love, then our instincts to meet the intimate emotional needs of affection and sexual fulfillment become almost irresistible. Your wife has said that her affair was just emotional, but you can be sure that if you had not discovered it and she had not put an end to it, it would have become sexual as well."

I think if your relationship is like this it's doomed to fail. I would hate to be kept on a leash and be told who I'm allowed to interact with and I wouldn't try to do it to my so. There were times when I was younger and more insecure I would have agreed but have matured and changed and I'm so glad I did, and also thankful to have the kind of relationship where I fully trust my so to speak to whoever he wants, and he trusts me the same. People always say it's a respect thing to not speak to people of the other gender but I think it's respectful to let people live their lives and not try to control them

Why wouldn't my husband be allowed to talk to his friends that are girls?

We aren't jealous people. We trust each other and like I said we know our place and so do our friends.

pp

How would you feel if your so/dh spent one on one time with another woman ?

That's very controlling ?.
I believe men and women can all be friends with each other. Married people just like single people should know their place.

I think it should include partnered or other married women as well, not just singles. And generally speaking, I agree. But I mean, there can be situations where it happens that are still completely innocent. I wouldn't call a blanket ban.

Edit: and should also apply to married women, not just married men.

He shouldn't be interacting on a personal level with any other women period.

I'm not sure. I mean if my husband isn't being secretive and tells me about it then it's whatever. But if he's just texting/inboxing some single woman from work about nothing then I do think it's weird.

There have been times when females that I don't know message him and he'll be like "I just wanted to let you know this person messaged me b/c I didn't want you to accidentally stumble upon it and think I was cheating on you or something." I very much appreciate that and think it's super respectful of him.

Also, it kind of depends on if they were friends before we got into the relationship and/or after. I don't know why but that may make a difference for me.