That’s heart breaking. I can’t believe that he would be bullied like that by his own family member. So sad.

Now, should you had said that you were going to slap him? No. Would I had said it too? Hell yes probably out of impulse. The mama bear comes out at those moments so I understand you.

@tbree, everyone agreed and understood where I was coming from because they were all tired of it.

Dh talked with his aunt and his aunt told him that I should have slapped him. But I’m not going to do that. She wasn’t mad at me. She was pissed at her son and dh said after I had left with the kids that his aunt laid into her sons butt. She was happy that I said it because all the kids know in dh family that I don’t mess around and they’ll listen when I get stern. She has asked me in the past to get onto him because he won’t listen to his parents. He goes off and calls his sisters b**** es and c**** . Cusses out his mom. The kid is BAD! ?

I do not feel one ounce of regret telling this almost 13yr old to quit messing with my 8 year old. We won’t see him for a very long time because I have to protect my child from the nastiness this boy does not only to my son but his other cousins as well.

5th grade isn’t that small of a child and, whether it was the “right” thing to do, or not... I completely understand. I would probably attempt discipline as well if his own parents aren’t doing it. And judging by his sister’s interactions with an adult, I’d bet my ass the parents are really to blame here.

I have a family member like that, he used to make fun of me and my weight. His mother would join in and laugh at me, and ask if I finally had a hot date... No one ever stood up for me, I wish someone would have... I put up with it for years, even now they still do it. And it still hurts....

I don't blame you for sticking up for your son, your a momma its what you do. And as for the 19yr old I would have laughed too. Im glad you stood up for your son.

Eta: when I did stick up for myself Im the one who got yelled at...

I feel you. I'm kinda in the same boat with my niece who just moved here. It's awful and its exhausting trying to talk to your child about being kind and not hitting back. Mind you our kids are a bit younger but I feel you. It's not easy. I'm so over it I've cut all contact. Their daughter isn't allowed in our home until she learns to behave and be kind. If that never happens then she's never allowed here. But I struggle with going to grandparents house too because they're always there. And I'm exhausted trying to keep them apart. This little girl is such a bully and literally comes after my kid. I literally put my body between her and my daughter and tell her No. her parents are never around and they never see anything and she talks back to me all the time. And their other kid will come up and smack me across the belly. I'm 28weeks pregnant. I'm so over their family. I'm so over parents who never parent. It's laziness on their part and everyone else has to suffer because of it. It's frustrating when it's family too and there is no end in sight. I feel you I really do. I'm so sorry for your son. It's the hardest thing as a parent to watch someone repeatedly bully your child.

Why is he allowed over to your house? I would tell them he’s not allowed over anymore. No one would be alllowed in my house that’s bullying my child. Especially if you’ve talked to them about it before.

Just saw your reply that it wasn’t your house. I would not go anywhere that he is going to be. He would not be allowed around my child at all. If his parents have a problem with that then they should have disciplined him and not let him bully.

He wouldn't be around my son anymore. Poor baby shouldn't be bullied in his own home.

Eh, can't blame the nineteen year old at all, she's young and defending her brother who is a child from an adult.

Buutt, maybe you should've slapped him (not really). He's twelve.

I've used my scary voice to tell people to not dare touch my children before, and I'd do it for that as well.

I'd have asked the parents to take their child home. I won't tolerate bullying. I'd have been like you need to leave.

I wonder what would have happened? Would the In laws have backed you? More discipline needs to be done and if he's not fit to be around others then they can stay home until they figure it out.

Good luck. And really, maybe he'll hesitate next time, or maybe it'll be worse to get back at you so keep an even closer eye out.

@rz, that’s exactly how dh family is. I’ve never personally seen it besides mothers and their children with spankings but what I said wasn’t “out of the ordinary” for them either.

I thought it was odd at first but for them, everyone raises everyone. One kid is another’s kid and so on. Lol

I probably would react the same. Sounds like his parents need some encouragement to pay a little closer attention to what their kid is saying and by encouragement I mean I'd put the fear of God into them. Realistically it isn't the kids fault, it's the parents. Yes the kid is saying some bad s*** BUT that's because he's not raised right. The fact that their 19 y.o tried to step up to you, a pregnant woman, shows they've got a history of not raising their kids right. I'd definitely have still said something to the kid but I'd have gotten the real rage out on the people who made him that way.

I'm married into an Arab fam and slapping is not an act of violence... Well in my husband's family... Its more of a respect teaching. I've seen his mom slap him and his brothers multiple times, and have hear so many stories of his family slapping him also. so honestly op I would've said the same thing. I wouldn't let anyone hurt my child's feeling and I definitely wouldn't even think of my 8 year old to stand up for her/himself.

Also... The slaps are not like knock out slaps... My husband said the only slap he got that actually hurt him was his father one time and that's because he did something really dumb... And from that day he never cared to do the same thing again. He still fears it. Just putting that there bc I thought it was crazy when I first heard of slapping but it makes more sense when you are actually in or around the culture that it's accepted in.

Somebody need to send his little ass on beyond scared straight since he think he’s the s*** and can’t nobody tell him anything.

Ek, don’t come at me with that question. This is something I said. I’m not about to apologize for sticking up for my 8 year old from a 12 year old.

I said it, I didn’t act on it nor would I ever. But I’m not going to be the nice one anymore. I’ve taken many steps before this and nothing changed.

I never got out of my spot from the chair. Never raised my hand to him.

I said “if you ever talk to my son like that again, I’ll slap you”

This is after years and years and quite tired of repeating myself.

After he’s made fun of my mom having cancer and died.

After making fun of my sons clothes.

His hair.

His shoes.

His skin color.

That my son is fat.

That he’s ugly.

That he won’t ever have a girlfriend when he’s older.

That he has chores.

My grey hair.

That I’m white.

That he’s not a true Arabic person because he’s mixed.

That his grandparents won’t love him like they love their real Arabic grandchildren.

That he deserves to eat s*** for dinner.

And so much more. But these are things that I remember.

Tell me where your patience is after your kid get things like that said to him...

I’ve TALKED AND TALKED to this boy, his parents, my inlaws, dh has spoken to them and he won’t leave my damn child alone!!!

I think you're mistaken. If the kid is as horrible as you say he is, you threatened to slap him will do nothing. It only makes you look like the bad guy and your sons feelings were still hurt. You say you've done it the right way for years, keep doing that. That way you can set a good example for your son since he can't be removed from the situation.

Sometimes things are said in a spur of the moment thing. I don’t blame you for saying what you said I probably would have did the same.

Is he allowed to threaten violence?

My son isn’t allowed to hit unless he’s hit first for self defense. ??‍♀️

Like I said, I don’t regret it! I get sick and tired of my kids feelings getting hurt. My kid comes first before any kid that acts like a little brat. I’ve kept my calm for years and years.

Funny thing is, nobody is mad at me for saying what I did, not even his mother. Just his sister because she likes to act almighty all the time.

I see them at family gatherings, birthdays and there’s been lots of times where I’ve visited them. My son plays with his other cousins and the boy just comes and does this all the time.

I probably would’ve kept my son from him long before this, family or not. I just can’t see myself threatening to slap a child, especially someone else’s child.

You weren't acting like a child. Way to go mamma bear. That boy needs his butt whooped! Someone has to stop him. If he'd do this to his own cousin you think he's not doing it to other kids at school? His parents are failing him.

Diamond, yes! He’s questioned me before why his cousin treats him that way.

There’s only so much I can tell him and him believe me.

But this kid is a down right little brat! Seriously! He’s just acts awful! I’ve never seen him be nice or talk nicely. Even playing, he is just awful. I caught him one time throwing rocks at my dogs a few years ago and then he wonders why my dogs always barked at him after that.

We’ve all had talks with both of them, together and separate. Tonight I got sick of it. There’s so much I can take and there’s so much my son can take before he believes what this kid tells him. I just can’t have that.

I teach my boys to love and respect others and it’s sad that this boy doesn’t think that way. And the way his older brother and his oldest sister is he’s going to be worse.

I’m sure the fact that his own cousin bullied him had a part in him being emotional. He was probably thinking why did his cousin treat him that way.

He does stick up for himself. But tonight the boy really hurt his feelings.

My son is an emotional person overall and this is the first time he’s cried for what he said. So his cousins words hurt him to the core tonight.

Mrs- you think her kid should stick up for hisself more from a bully? Have you ever been bullied before? How dare you say her son should stick up for himself? Obviously he can’t and was too emotional in the moment to react. His feelings were hurt so he reacted to that. ?

Zelda, no they can’t control him... I’m tired of my son getting his nasty comments and acts of meanness.

Like I said, I shouldn’t have said it but you know what? I bet I scared his ass from making fun of my kid again. I don’t care.

They would say the same damn thing if my son was like this. We are very close family so it’s not like they don’t know what he does when he gets around my son and his other cousins. This has been an ongoing issue FOR YEARS! And I’m not going to tolerate it anymore. Parents obviously haven’t done s*** to control their kid but I will control it when it comes to my kid being bullied by his cousin.

What else could there have been done besides my kid popping off and hitting the boy? The mom already knows because as soon as my son started crying she went to her son. I had enough of the little boys s*** ! I get sick and tired of not being mean back when my son has to hear these things like that.. I’m not about to let this kid get to his head with the nonsense.

He has me, his mom trying and teaching him to get his spirits back up from this kid being awful, hateful and down right nasty to him.

Years and years of this and I finally snapped! Like I said, I don’t give a rats ass how you view me. My job as a parent is to protect my kid and I’ve been doing it the right way when it comes to this kid for years. Well, not tonight buddy! My kid comes first! His feelings first! His little heart first!

Words hurt! And it can take years to come back from the hurt you feel. Especially from a family member that you see quite often.

The kid picking on your son for having his hair fixed and matching clothes makes me feel sad for him, clearly he's jealous that he doesn't have matching clothing and no one to fix his hair for him. I'd explain to my child WHY his cousin acts that way, then when I heard the kid start teasing my son I would have said "Want me to fix your hair and match your clothes? You can be "cool" too with a better attitude." If things kept getting worse I would have separated the kids or left. I don't blame you for the way you handled it, I couldn't imagine watching my kids get their feelings hurt. No mother wants their kids hurt. Maybe he'll think twice next time he wants to bully your son. ?

This is a situation where you shouldn't act like a kid yourself. Talk to the mother and father, if they can't control their son then leave. You can't just tell a kid you're going to slap them.

I would have went off but I’m pregnant and you’re pregnant as well. You did a good job leaving the situation and being stern with the boy. Will that help? Maybe not, but at least you stood up for yourself since he couldn’t stand up for hisself. ☺️

We weren’t at my house. We were at my inlaws visiting with everyone. They come and 30 min later all hell breaks loose lol.

I was pissed and dh doesn’t want our son and the other boy around each other at all. He said we won’t go over to his parents if they’re there and we will leave anytime they come. Tonight dh finally saw how bad it hurts his son. Breaks a moms heart to see her kid get bullied and him be in tears.

This isn’t even close to being that it just started. It’s been happening for years.

I think I would of done the same op

Just tell hem they are not allowed in your home till her son learns some matters