Les, I would feel the same way lol

A cpl of years ago, dh and I were going through some financial troubles during December and couldn't afford to buy all the kids presents so I just told my family to buy their children whatever with the limit of like 15$ each child and we paid them pack a month later.. Half were understanding and wouldn't accept it but I put it their purse or whatever was available with a note and the money inside when they weren't looking lol.

I guess it's about how you were raised. My mom always had a gift for every party we went to as kids and now as an adult myself, I always have to bring a gift with me. If not I feel like I'm mooching (spelling?) just showing up for the food, drinks etc. I definitely notice when people show up empty handed.

I find that rude. I wouldn't show up empty handed mostly every single time. I wouldn't say anything if it was my friend though because I don't like making people feel bad but I would think it lol

I also think it's rude people throw away cards. I keep mine

I understand your point.

I don't think it's my family though. She calls my grandpa her gramps.

I'll just casually bring it up next time I see her.

And I love the idea of homemade cards! We tend to throw out cards but don't on the big occasions like the 1st birthday and things of that nature.

Next year for her sons bday we will just make a homemade card and we will have fun doing it lol

If she continues to not bring anything I'm not going to be anymore bothered by it.. I just think it would be nice but it's no where near a deal breaker on a friendship! I love her dearly!

Thanks genty! That's a good one. I will do that. My 6 yr old turns 7 in 2 weeks so I'll just bring it up to her.

Pp, oh no! That's not right!

Well, since your son is 6 years old I would probably tell her something. Depending on how close we are, I would say something to the effect that your son notices that he doesn't get a present from her son/family.

Next year ask her if you need to pick up a gift for her to your son.

I know it's passive-aggressive but it will keep the peace.

My "best friend" showed up to my baby shower empty handed. I was hurt and irritated.

I have a friend that came to our wedding and didn't give us anything, she calls herself my daughter's godmother and never once she gave her anything, oh yeah she gave her a book and still nothing to my ds but she is a good friend, she is the friend friend I made when I came to this country, she was the first to visit me in the hospital when both my kids born and I know if I need someone to talk I have her. My kids get happy only for seeing her, they don't need more than that.

No genty. She doesn't.

Pp, I will not stop inviting her just because of this. That's stupid.

I know she has at least a 1$ to spend on a card from the dollar store lol. She's going to Vegas in a few weeks and was leaving for Dallas today to go shop.

Like I said I'm not mad over it..

And I made a post about it asking others how it would make them feel. I'm not being a b**** about it or calling her names.

I just feel like it's tacky and it's "the thought" of bringing a card to make an effort like I do at her sons parties.

I won't stop buying her son a gift. Regardless, she's still my friend and will continue to be my friend. ?

Does she do other friendly things throughout the year?

I wouldn't judge on just one day alone.

My best friend of 10 years is broke with 2 kids of her own. If she didn't bring a gift I wouldn't care. It's her life and money

Do this many people really care that much about gifts and money that you judge your "friends" on it? Seriously? You would hold back buying a gift for a friend's child because they didn't provide your child one? If I can provide a gift for a child in my life I'm happy to....whether their parents provide gifts for my child or not. I know the world is materialist and petty these days but I'm sure glad my friends and I don't keep score of who bought who's kids what. We are friends because we care about each other, not each others wallets. ?

I don't think that I would notice if my friend didn't bring a card. I would just be thankful that they were able to come to the party and celebrate.

How do you KNOW she can afford it? Maybe she's just barely making ends meet and honestly doesn't have money for a toy that your child will just grow out of in a few years anyway?

Stop focusing on the gifts and be thankful that you still have a good friend after 15 years.

Honestly, I do feel like pp said before that it is tacky not bringing something for the kid. My husband's best friend is kind of like that. They don't live in the same state as us but when they found out I was pregnant , they didn't get us anything. I was ok with it because they had a hard time trying to get pregnant as well so it didn't bother me. When they got pregnant a few months after I had my baby, we bought them something and also a Christmas present and then a first birthday present and another Christmas present. They have not reciprocated in return. It just bums me out. So this year, we're not sending them anything. I don't even think they'll notice. So if I were you, I'd keep inviting her but just not buy for her kid. I doubt she'll even notice too.

In my opinion the effort of showing up is what shows she cares. I probably wouldn't even notice. My friendships aren't based on whether they get my kids cards and presents and I certainly don't pay enough attention to keep score year to year on who got my kids what. My friend being there would be enough for me. It certainly wouldn't make me think so much less of her that I felt the need to make a post about it. She's my friend, that's all that's required, not buying things.

I find it odd.

I know it's not about presents, but they're nice lol.

Then stop inviting her....

Problem solved ??

I would never go to a party empty handed. My son has had a ton of birthday parties lately and while it can get expensive having to buy loads of presents I wouldn't dream of going without one. You can get nice presents for kids cheap enough it only adds up when like my son has had two parties every weekend for the past 3 weeks!

I have one aunt and uncle that never brought presents for anyone. They are on my mom's side, which is massive so they decided not to ever do presents for anyone. Their kids obviously got presents from them but that's it. When I was a kid I thought it was so weird. But now, as I'm buying at LEAST 2 presents a month for birthdays I completely understand. My father's side is massive as well and there are a couple months with 9 birthdays in it! The only time I get presents for friends kids is on milestone birthdays.

It's about presence not presents in my opinion. The only thing I ask is that the guests (read sil) don't make my child's parties about their child's birthday it really has happened

My family always says to bring yourself, even if you can't bring anything with you. This wouldn't bother me at all.

I absolutely hate cards, think they're a massive waste of paper & money. I tell everyone this if it's my birthday or anything like that but I still get them for others as I know they like/appreciate them. If it's a birthday then I will always get a gift, too. It's just common courtesy.

I agree with @OddThomas.

Like you said, she could at least bring a card.

I never go to birthday parties or christmas parties etc: empty handed, I always bring a card or a little gift. I feel rude otherwise.

I will be the odd one. Which seems fitting because of my user name. I think it's tacky to show up to parties empty handed. That's just how I was raised. If I am invited to someone's house even for dinner I will bring an appetizer, beverages or a dessert. I would never go to a bday party without at least something small nor would I allow my kids to go empty handed. I like to encourage them to be giving and thoughtful. Even if it's making a card or cookies. Also, I save all my kids cards in a scrapbook. I am glad I did since my dad passed, my eldest has a card from him. While I teach my kids to appreciate the presence of loved ones over presents, I would still find it tacky.

It wouldn't matter to me as long as they were there to celebrate.

Ya true.. I just feel like she could make an effort. Our first sons are 6 yrs old and not once has she gotten a gift or a card. I feel like it's kinda tacky to come empty handed. Stay for 20 (always late and leaves early) minutes. I don't know. Lol I'm not pissed. Just thought about it earlier on the ride home and was like "wth?!" Lol