@joyfulmom2b sometimes men do get it as quick as a woman it takes them to go thru alot of bs in order to just finally man up and do what they need to do to be a good father or SO but the things that be the worse are that you know they got it in them and you know what they are capable of but they still just don't give a damn believe me when I say it's all gonna work out just don't get worked up cause one thing I know is silence will kill a mf and they will be going crazy not knowing what's going on in your mind and you hit them with the I'm OK or nothing is wrong with me they clueless as to what's going on and he knows he have a good woman that's why he is doing it cause he feel as thou he got you now so he don't got to keep trying to keep ya happy which is why alot of relationships don't work and its messed up just take the time to think about things and what you want for you and baby and the joy to come when you have your bundle of joy laying across your chest

@joyfulmom2b sorry you have to go thru this and pregnant just try not to stress cause when a women's fed up there's nothing nobody can do about it take it as this will make you stronger for baby and trust me when baby gets here your mind frame is gonna change and if the actions persist you will indeed say to hell with him just don't give him a reaction anymore and I promise you if it's in his interest to change he will indeed cause he wouldn't know what's going on keep the relationship mutual and say hey I'm a mom now and trust your baby will bring so much love and joy to you what he does won't even matter anymore and believe me the love from your kids is like heaven on earth and it's real and for eternity keep ya head up babe and if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me or anything cause us as sisters we have to be there to lift one another keep ya head up baby you got this

@ambrerumph1440, np and I’ve explained that to him a lot about friends” but he thinks he’s being smart about it, which is most definitely isn’t lol. And I hope that’s when he realizes a lot more, and he’s admitted to that not knowing love and how to react to a woman that’s really been there for him, but it’s been awhile and for him to still run and use it as a excuse irks me.. he could put more effort in since I’ve put it into him. But hopefully he will realize this again, and make a real change in his life.

@joyfulmom2b thanks hun and that's exactly how they are some friends don't want to see we doing good cause they have absolutely nothing good or positive going for themselves and they wanna keep bringing him down it's a mind thing and sometimes it takes for baby to get here before they say oh shit it's real us women have alot of patience and faith men fall very weak to patience and faith it's crazy how it works my husband did a whole 360 when I birthed our 9 year old it still gets rough at times but instead of arguing I use my silence theory and say he know something wrong just can't put his finger on it just keep praying and do all you can to guide him and remove him from the negativity cause he may not ever felt love and now he has something real and he just pushing it off

@ambrerumph1440, he’s just gotta get alil more serious about stuff, he doesn’t see anything as that big of a deal ever, and misses a lot of the small stuff that matters

@ambrerumph1440, well said! And congrats 12 years is a lot of growing together. And exactly he hasn’t been able to get it all together for quite a few years till he started dating me which he says and I’ve witnessed but I think that is also what freaks him out that when he makes decisions on his own normally it has a negative consequence and his friends telling him it’s ok, is his comfort. Which I don’t want him going back into that, this is our life and future and they aren’t expecting a baby soon nor have one. And that sound like a lot of men ohhh she’s just bugging blah blah, they miss the bigger picture a lot and live in a moment, at least he does. And I agree, him feeling like he’s falling weak makes him start to act like his old idgaf doing whatever I want attitude, which is the point he comes off disrespectful n hurtful to me And that’s what I’ve tried to make him understand.. it’s just fallen through.

@joyfulmom2b I'm my husband first relationship ever and still have to let him know things that happen in one and it took him a while to get certain things this year we have been together 12 years and married for 5 and it's alot I still think he don't understand like WTF I think men just have a hellified way of showing things but you know he loves you cause he still is around he just can't seem to get it together and probably don't see anything wrong with what he is doing and probably feels as though o she just tripping but men can't comprehend a lot of things us women can and show us support in the most fucked up ways and don't see anything wrong with it and he might be lovably afraid to love a real women like yourself cause he may feel as thou he falling weak trust alot of men think that and you treat him in a way that is sweeping him off his feet and he just can't handle it especially since you are his first real lady

@ambrerumph1440, if he really wants this like he says, he will. My only thing that makes me iffy abt it, is he really hasn’t had any serious relationships at all, he really acts lost on what to do a lot, but even if I kinda glide him along; he isn’t listening as he use too. So hopefully, he just makes the effort, and that would be appreciated at least rn

@joyfulmom2b I guarantee you it will cause he will be so freaked out as to what you're thinking and he is used to you just coming to him now he will come to you and try and figure things out

@ambrerumph1440, be really nice if it’s works 🤞

@joyfulmom2b Yw hun and that's how I cope with things instead of arguing fussing and fighting and getting myself all worked up I found that taking my own advice play out so well and brings more communication and changing ways and no problem Yw hun

@ambrerumph1440, that’s so truthful and u have a good point, and I think your right abt knowing he has me, and I’m definitely gonna take ur advice, bc I just really didn’t know what else to do and I think that will get his mind thinking more if I don’t tell him right away what I’m thinking. Most definitely agree with all of that, I appreciate ur input, it’s a different technique to try to get him to involve himself more and or try again. Thank you so much for that

@joyfulmom2b sometimes men do get it as quick as a woman it takes them to go thru alot of bs in order to just finally man up and do what they need to do to be a good father or SO but the things that be the worse are that you know they got it in them and you know what they are capable of but they still just don't give a damn believe me when I say it's all gonna work out just don't get worked up cause one thing I know is silence will kill a mf and they will be going crazy not knowing what's going on in your mind and you hit them with the I'm OK or nothing is wrong with me they clueless as to what's going on and he knows he have a good woman that's why he is doing it cause he feel as thou he got you now so he don't got to keep trying to keep ya happy which is why alot of relationships don't work and its messed up just take the time to think about things and what you want for you and baby and the joy to come when you have your bundle of joy laying across your chest

@mhbbb2, thank you! I really do also.. him pulling this stuff is my worst nightmare honestly and my fathers.. I need my SO to be a stand up guy. Not disappear or end up in jail with his reckless way rn

@ambrerumph1440, that’s all the stuff I keep trying to tell myself, but being in a area I’m not from and don’t drive. I feel stuck as bad as I want him to man up for us a a family, he makes me feel this way now and doesn’t seem to care. It’s always an excuse or I don’t wanna fight and him lying or trying to slide by. And I have no doubt that when my little one is here I’m going to be sooo focused and just in awe with him that he isn’t even gonna affect me.. but it still lingers how he could do this shit now and if he’s gonna just go off and be drunk and stuff once he’s here. He claims he’s gonna do abunch but everything lately has been a lie, n it doesn’t secure my confidence with him. I want him to be a good father like he wanted to be, not this and a good SO.. but he won’t listen

Him going to appointments is apparently asking a real lot.. sounds ridiculous to me. I wish he helped pick anything out, or involved himself

Sorry girl. I.hope he gets it together before the baby comes.

@joyfulmom2b sorry you have to go thru this and pregnant just try not to stress cause when a women's fed up there's nothing nobody can do about it take it as this will make you stronger for baby and trust me when baby gets here your mind frame is gonna change and if the actions persist you will indeed say to hell with him just don't give him a reaction anymore and I promise you if it's in his interest to change he will indeed cause he wouldn't know what's going on keep the relationship mutual and say hey I'm a mom now and trust your baby will bring so much love and joy to you what he does won't even matter anymore and believe me the love from your kids is like heaven on earth and it's real and for eternity keep ya head up babe and if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me or anything cause us as sisters we have to be there to lift one another keep ya head up baby you got this

@mhbbb2, yeah I have no doubt his maturity plays a big part in this, and I know he’s fully capable of being mature and doing the right thing. That’s why I’m taken back by this crap.. like really now he’s gotta do this to me. He’s disappeared for a week and put me through mad stress and didn’t even give a fu(k knowing how bad it is for the baby also. He gets so stubborn anymore. He barely works now, like smh 🤦‍♀️ riding his bike is more important, it sucks so much. I love him but to find out more and more he’s lying to me, is taking me to another level of just furious..

From all your posts I think he is wet immature and possibly not ready to be a father. I'm sorry you're going through this.

@ke-ke, I know.. ugh it would just be so much better as a family and him not making this hell, I don’t and can’t comprehend why he can’t

You need to think about your health and your baby that’s unnecessary stress

@morgyporgypudninpie, I just wish there was a way to make him realize and change for the better, like he listened to me on how to make his life better but won’t listen now, when it’s most important.. it’s crippling, how he makes me feel sometimes, his head is in the clouds

@morgyporgypudninpie, honestly idk anymore, I’ve gone home before which makes my life way harder, I’ve tried to explain nicely and I’ve flipped out. We’ve tlked abt counseling then he refused. Like I’m putting my head in a hole anymore idk what to do

:( ❤️