I'm so sorry about what happened to you. I also remember your previous post about your mum. There's not much more that I can add on top of what these ladies have said, I just wanted to say good luck.

One thing I will say is please don't let her make this about her. Yes her feelings matter but don't let her drag you back to a place you worked so hard to move on from.

@deborahjq my SO got me through it from when it happened until now. And he's been such a big part of my recovery. I'd probably be dead if he weren't around. So i know i have him to fall back on once again.

First, let me just say how strong you are for coming forward to anyone about it, let alone a parent. My mother is rather self-absorbed as well, so while I can't understand in a deeper sense, I can understand you dreading telling her. All I can suggest is to try to emotionally prepare yourself for any and all reactions on her part. Also, I hope you have a support system to help you through this as I'm sure her reaction may trigger some memories, feelings or trauma in general, so it can be good to have someone in your corner.
I wish you the best ♥️

I really appreciate everyone's comments ❤

My mom is the same way. She said it never happened because she would have known it happened. 🙄 the only advice I can give you, you don’t need her validation. You’re only telling her because you feel she should know, but it happened and you’re so strong. Explain it to her and don’t let her interrupt you or try to brush off what happened to you. It is a big deal and it completely changes you. If you ever need to talk, I’m here for you. ♥️

So sorry that you went through that. I hope your mom surprises you and only offers support and not make it about her in any way. 🙇🏽‍♀️🙏🏽

@nyramak, oh yeah I’d be a total wreck if something like ever happened to my daughters, don’t get me wrong. My words don’t justify how my mother dealt with it, but in the simplest of terms, she definitely made it more about her. I hope that your conversation goes as well as it can, and I hope that you’re able to move on and heal from this without any unnecessary complications or obstacles. *hugs*

@christina- as a mom I'm sure I'd have my own emotions to come to terms with if (God forbid) my daughter ever told me something like this but I'd do my best to be supportive and not make it about myself. So I'm trying to give her a grade period, if you will, to express her grief.

I'm sure your mother dealt with it in the only way she knew how. Unfortunately it's not always how we hope.

@arow that's part of why i need to tell her. My ptsd is causing hallucinations(recently made worse by my rapist contacting me last Nov)that are now gone thanks to meds but she doesn't understand why i have ptsd so i feel the need to tell her. Originally when she asked why i had ptsd i made some excuse about how my labor and delivery and ppd caused it. So now i need to tell her the real reason behind it so she'll understand why i am the way i am. Maybe she'll accept my life choices better.

I went through something similar. I was raped when I was 15 and didn’t want to tell my parents at all. And then one day when I was 17, my mom and I got into a huge argument and it came out. Immediately, she made it all about herself. It was really awkward for me because I had sort of just accepted it and moved on. I had finished dealing with it on my own and I felt okay two years later. Then she made me go to therapy a few times with her. When we would watch movies together with scenes like that, she would turn to me and ask if I was okay to watch it and I would say yes, but she would get up and leave the room to cry during those types of scenes. While I definitely do think some of her reactions were genuine, I also think a lot of it was embellished and dramatic. For what reason, I have no idea. That’s just how she is and always has been. If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me... or however that works on here now.

@phoebesmommy she's a major part of my life. I know she'll be mad if she finds out my dad knows and she doesn't. I've wanted to tell her for a long time but was never in a good place to do so.

@nyramak I'm so sorry you had to go though that. I was molested by my own pos father and raped at 16. I waited to tell my mom. I was scared and part of me felt it was my fault. I understand needing to tell your mom. But if it helps maybe wright her a letter. That way you don't get hit with the 20 questions as to why you waited. Also gives you time to wright it out word for word with how you want to say everything. Let her know how hard this is for you and right now you just need her to listen and her support. My mom took it pretty hard because I waited to say anything. She felt I couldn't be open with her enough to go right to her. Let her know this isn't easy to say so that's why you did the letter. It gives you both time to take in all that happened. In the end you're her baby and this is a mother's worst nightmare. There's going to be a lot of emotions and questions. She's going to be hurt that you waited but she also has to understand this is a very traumatic experience and a life long one. Even though this happened to me over 15 years ago there's days it feels like it just happened. I now have ptsd due to it. My mom knows not to bring it up unless I do. So also set boundaries. This is a healing process and in the end she needs to respect that. If you ever need to talk feel free to pm me.

@nyramak yep I understand. I've had those convos with mine too. I would just remind her that you didn't want to tell anyone and it's not about her

I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I can’t remember exactly the details before but I remember you posting something ab your mom on B.B. before... can I ask what telling her will accomplish? Is it just bc your dad will tell her? Is she a big part of your life?
😪 so sorry @nyramak,

@marielovely thank you. I've come to terms with it and am finally in a comfortable place and for the most part at peace with it.