Emotional support

I’m losing myself and I have no one to talk to about what’s going on in my life so I thought I would come on here

In order for me to tell my story I wanna start from the beginning I meet my husband we talked for 6 months before going on our first date I fell madly head over heels with this man I can’t express the love I carried for him in prayers had been answered I found my soul mate I was in a dark place before I meet him and wow did he make me do a 180 I was finally happy again I could smile without faking it my laugh was real I was the happiest I could ever be we decided to take the next step and move in together we were in the honey moon phase ya there was a few bumps in the road it got rocky put we pushed though 2016 I became pregnant with my first child after years of being told I would never be able to carry a baby the excitement and joy I had was crazy I looked around at my life took a deep breath and said my life is finally coming together my love for him grew even stronger the way he talked to his unborn child the way he talked bout out future my heart was just melting away sep 16 2016 I gave birth to my son the raw emotion we both had hearing my son cry made me ball looking up to see the man Whom I created this beautiful life with break down in tears seeing his first born son at that moment in time I was the happiest I have ever been I had everything I could of ever want my life was complete but soon my life ran into a not just a bump but a mountain when the love of my life confessed to cheated on me while I was 8 months pregnant my world came crashing down I became very depressed for months I was in between leaving and staying the thought of me leaving crushed my heart I would break out in tears I didn’t wanna lose this beautiful family that we created so I decided to stay I decided that I could get thou this that this man I love made a terrible mistake and that we could once again have the love we once had months went by and things got slowly better and better soon it was a distant memory and I started to love this man again like I once had April 2017 I found out we were expecting again not planned excitement and fear filled my body as I found out we were expecting twins I was scared but I knew I could do anything with this man by my side months go by and everything and going smoothly untill we run into a bump in the road when I opened a Snapchat from a girl and she was nude on his phone I lost it I couldn’t believe what I was seeing how could he do this again we sat down and discussed what happened I talked to the girl and things were settled I gave birth Jan 2nd my babies spent 3 weeks in the Nikki after arriving home from the hospital I found out he had lied though out the year to me not only did he cheat on me but 2 weeks before the babies were born was one of the last times now let me tell you I know I should of left but this love I carry for this man is beyond anything I have ever felt but I put my love aside and I left him we live together but we’re separated he still wants to make things work but this love I had has turned into hate I’m disgusted by the man who once meant everything to me I’m disappointed in the man who I never thought would hurt me god knows I want more then anything in the world to have the man I once loved but I believe he’s long gone I wonder constantly why he chose these people over his family why wasn’t I good enough images play over in over in my mind of him doing these things I’m truly broken