Ladies...if your husband has a friend of the opposite sex who is asking for advice from him about what to do about her…

@jaymebaby07, that’s good! I’m glad he apologized

Are okay*

@njgriffin, we were able to talk about it. He apologized to me and told me that he didn’t mean to make me feel insecure. I’m still making our marriage counseling appt for this coming week and I have put my foot down and told him that he can’t talk to her anymore. Things were too suspicious. There is more to the story but we ar splay for now lol

@jaymebaby07, any updates? Lol

@ohbabybaby88, thank you. We have gone through worse things and have come out of it as a stronger couple. I just wish we wouldn’t have to deal with situations like this. I feel like everything gets so much better because we work with each other and communicate netter and then BAM 💥 I can’t catch a break. We will see what he says......

@jaymebaby07 good luck hun really I hope it all works out. It reeeeally doesn't make sense to me he wouldn't have his "best friends" phone number

@ohbabybaby88, I’m telling you, there is just too much for me to be suspicious about. He really shouldn’t dismiss my feelings either.....I’m going to try to talk to him calmly when he gets home in about 5 minutes. I’m really not angry I just want to know the full truth on everything. He can’t call her his “best friend”. He gave her his number on instagram this morning. She isn’t his best friend....I wouldn’t even call her a close friend.

@jaymebaby07 my question would be why Instagram if they're such good friends why wouldn't she text him regular? I wanna point out it could still be nothing because he isn't hiding that they spoke/speak but I'd give it some time for you to calm down and ask him if you guys could talk calmly and rationally about it! He shouldn't dismiss your feelings

@ohbabybaby88, he called me on his way to work to tell me that she had messaged him on insta and that she was having relationship problems and needed his advice. He wanted to to tell him how I felt about it and I said uncomfortable and he got mad at me. That’s how this whole things started

@jaymebaby07 I mean I would think that he probably would have mentioned her at least In passing or something some conversation somewhere. I haven't read a lot of comments on here did you say how you realize they were talking? Like did he tell you about it

@lana2018, yeahhhhh that’s always been a thought 🤔

@ohbabybaby88, we used to live in CA. We have been here in NC for two years now. He knew her from prior to us being together. The thing is....if they were such good friends why did he never tell me anything about her at all? We have been together for 3 years and he maybe has mentioned her once? Idk

@jaymebaby07 waaaaaittt so then how do they know each other so well? I mean still possible but I now I wanna know lol. She could've been a really good friend that moved away and they lost contact? That's why he didn't mention her?

@ohbabybaby88, there is one thing I have failed to mention this whole time because I haven’t even thought about it until now but we live in NC and she lives in CA so she isn’t even around physically.....I feel like he is just oblivious!

@jaymebaby07 ughh I'm sorry he's not listening to your feelings, that's the worst part!!! How would she talk to you meaning do you see her and she just ignores you?

@halifax6, I definitely will!

@jaymebaby07 bring it up in counseling. We can't always control our selves or how we feel. Especially pregnant!

@halifax6, I don’t think he does. I also don’t believe that he takes my anxiety, depression, and mood swings seriously because he thinks they are just a symptom of pregnancy. He also believes that I can always control how I feel....no I can’t. We are going to marriage counseling and I feel it’s helping and then situations like this happen. He told me he gave her my number...I don’t know how to react to that and I haven’t gotten a text or call from her so.....? Idk

@jaymebaby07 let me guess, he also doesn't believe that emotional affairs are real?

@halifax6, I will make sure I do. I honestly am at the point where I just feel like being silent. I know I can’t be because I know I will say something I just doing like to hear myself talk all the time because it just goes in one ear and out the other. I’m the irrational one, he has never had a relationship with her and hasn’t had sex with her so what am I worried about right? That’s how he expects me to see things. I don’t see them that way at all

@jaymebaby07 I remember feeling like that. It's exhausting. Draining. Hurtful. I'm sorry.

Right after I had my son, my husband got a new assistant manager (he's the manager) and she is 27 and single and it really messed with me for a few days. Put me right back where I was in my past relationship. I cried and was all withdrawn and really sad. His friend that I was talking about told my husband that SHE was worried cause HER boyfriend works with my husband and new girl. I'm like if she's afraid of this girl! I'm still skeptical, but I've confronted him about it and the newness of her wore off. I met her, too. And I don't feel as crazy about it as I used to, but after feeling like shit about it for days I spoke up. I'm glad I did cause it drove me crazy.

I'd bring it up. If it were a guy, you'd ask the same questions, I'm sure.

@halifax6, he told me that he knew her prior to us even being together and that she was a shoulder to cry on and was there when he was going through his problems with his previous relationship and not being able to see his son. That’s all he told me. He told me he would tell me about her later but I know he isn’t going to. He forgets how well I know him. I don’t know if I will ever be comfortable. I really don’t know if he is being totally truthful even if he shows me the messages later...idk I just don’t have the energy for it anymore lol

@jaymebaby07 see, that's sketchy. Did you ask how they met? How long they were friends? You have a right to know that info. I'm sorry if you already answered this.

I sat by idoly and my husband cheated. I speak up now. I'm NOT SAYING this is happening to you, just that you haaaaave to stand up for yourself and speak your mind and you have the right to be comfortable.

@halifax6, nope. I don’t even know anything about her other than what I saw on her Instagram. Which is her face and that she has children and a husband. That’s all I know

@jaymebaby07 I know how it feels to stuff shit down. Not cool. Have you ever met her?

@halifax6, I see what you mean. I think I just have to let it go for right now *sigh*

@ohbabybaby88, see and I don’t want her to feel that way lol if she really has the close relationship with my husband and has been friends with him forever then I want to root their friendship on and I want to be able to let that friendship happen without feeling insecure. At this point I’m just going to have to let it go and talk to him later about it because he has been arguing with me all day and he talked to her regardless of how I felt so it is what it is and it happened. No I’m not happy about it and she still hasn’t taken the initiative to at least say hi to me so I guess I’m just making myself sick by having anxiety and being insecure. I also don’t have the energy to be upset because I’m pregnant and exhausted lol

I see both sides. And I agree with a lot of people here.

My ex husband - helped talk a girl through depression and her bf breaking up with her (without my knowledge, told me after I caught them texting. He never even let me hold his phone). I flipped out. Said it was not okay. Talked to the girl, told her to stay out of my relationship, blah blah blah long story short... He cheated on me with her (best part, she was 17 we were 32). We got divorced because of it. Lol

Current husband - one of his best friends is a girl, and have been friends for 5 years and they talk about all things personal. Including her divorce and her new current relationship. It was his boss at work. They are extremely close. I was extremely hesitant at first, because of my ex, but I trust my husband. And he let's me really all his texts, which I never do cause I believe him.

Bottom line, the communication should be open, you should be able to read all texts. And if it makes you uncomfortable he should respect that.

I'm sorry and good luck!

@jaymebaby07 Honestly even though I've been the girl in this situation I think I'd probably feeling insecure too because he all of a sudden started to throw that out there and you've never known about her before. If he told her that you're uncomfortable with them talking maybe she was asking him that lake in consideration of you? There's a guy I work with that I literally cannot text if I didn't see him that day because I don't know if hes at work and if his wife saw me texting him she'd freak out. Literally even if it's about work hes not allowed to speak to me. To me that's shitty that I have to sneak to talk to him about work lol

If you're really really uncomfortable with it though he should respect your boundaries I don't agree with him telling you that you're being ridiculous for feeling how you feel. I can understand her feeling uncomfortable talking to you though if she doesn't know you that's kind of like Hey stranger let me tell you my personal business lol

@ohbabybaby88, that’s the thing. He has already put all this stuff in her head because I have a problem with this kinda thing and I don’t want her to feel that way. She is more than welcome to talk to him but when she specifically says “are you sure we can talk? I don’t want your wife to be mad” that makes me feel even more uncomfortable. And he called her his “best friend” for the first time today. I never heard about her and I no nothing of her....I just feel really insecure I guess

@jaymebaby07 uhm only 2, my best friend's wife and then Ive said hello or whatever to the other one's wife but I mean it's mostly talking at work via text message or in the time shack things like that. I don't get together after work or anything with all the guys so I don't really have an opportunity to get to know their wives. It does suck though that there's been a few wives who hate me for literally no reason, just because they think some kinda way.

@njgriffin, exactly! LOL I’m just furious about it right now 😩

@jaymebaby07, if you never knew he had a female best friend since he never talks about her and randomly surprises you with it then that’s weird. Still a no no for me

@ohbabybaby88, okay I can see your position....but do you take the initiative to at least say hello and get to know the guys significant other? I mean not every little detail about them but you can have a conversation with the guy and you can also have a conversation with his wife?

OK I'm totally on the wrong side of the fence here lol bringing a different light on things…

I work with all men no females, none, and I've done so for basically the last 13 years. I've spent a lot of time building very close relationships with some of them. One of my coworkers and I are actually best friends he tells me everything about his relationship and his wife is actually appreciative of that because normally I take her side. I tell him a lot of things about my relationship. I honestly believe it's OK for a dude's to have female friends. I mean maybe it's not so much searching for comfort in any kind of inappropriate way.

You're entitled to feel however you do I don't know your relationship that's all you I'm just saying I don't think it's totally fair to be mad at her. Maybe she's just looking for male advice because her husband's a dirty rotten disgusting cheater and wants to know what a guy thinks?

I'd hate to think of all of you thinking I'm the bad guy because I've been that female asking for my Male coworkers advice and meant NOTHING by it at all 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

@taylorsmommy1017, apparently she has known him since before me....I understand having that friendship. I never knew anything about her though and then today he throws out that she his “best friend” wtf??? If she was your best friend I should have at least known who she was? I have introduced him to my best friends and he knows them and treats him like sisters.....I know I really can’t tell him no he can’t talk to her but instead I’m sitting here ridden with anxiety because I’m uncomfortable with it and I have no idea if they are talking or not because he is at work. Ugh 😑

This is exactly how I feel about the situation yet I’m the irrational one according to my husband 😑 I’m at a loss right now because he is trying to make me feel bad by saying that I’m causing problems for no reason. They have never dated and/or had sex so that makes the situation completely fine and there shouldn’t be anything to worry about 😩😩😡 I don’t know what to do right now. He is also telling me that he is going to tell her to talk to me because I’m insecure about their friendship. I want to scream, cry, and punch him in the face all at once.

First of all my husband doesn’t have female best friends. I’m his female best friend lol. So I feel like his female friend should talk to one of her female friends not your husband 🤷🏼‍♂️

If a chick was asking my husband for relationship advice instead of asking another girl I wouldn’t feel comfortable with it either tbh.

Um. No.

This is why technology got me fucked Lmao I cannot stand females like this. But you shouldn’t have to check a female check your man let him know directly this is a problem. But don’t do it crazy but don’t kinda like go around it. If she won’t come to you too then he can’t go to her. Especially with your gut telling you things you can’t see with your eyes. If you check him and she still won’t come to you because I’m sure he’s telling her you have a problem with it. Then something fishy going on and you just gotta start slapping faces off. I mean..we’ll yeah I said that but didn’t say that. Lol 😂. Moral of what I’m saying is if you feel uncomfortable and your man doesn’t do anything about it then I would go to her straight up but she doesn’t owe you the loyalty of making you feel secure your man does. This whole situation is way too relatable. I honestly tell my man if you gonna have female friends just stay in ya lane.

@jaymebaby07, sadly, if you go to her, you look super jealous and insecure. Just keep this in the back of your mind and just let it go for the time being. Ask for updates and stuff, hell if it’s that bad, see if she’ll come over for dinner one night with you and your husband and then you can all talk about it. If you still get an off vibe about the situation, then I would say something to her, but for now you’ll just kinda have to go with it.

@italianarosemarie, I know she won’t come to me though....I saw the last message she sent him was “are you sure we can talk? I don’t want your wife to get mad” like are you serious!?!?! If you didn’t want me mad you should have come to me and said you wanted to talk to him about these things. Communication! 🤔

I guess I am definitely a psycho jealous bitch then because I just don’t feel comfortable with it at all. I was feeling like maybe I was being irrational at first but it kept bothering me. He is at work today and I have no idea if he is talking to her or not....😩

@jaymebaby07, nah you gotta let her come to you. I know this wasn’t for me but I’m kinda really into this topic lol

@littleonemorning, I said a version of that when he had spoken to me about it this morning and his reply was “if it was a friend of yours I wouldn’t have a problem with it” that is the biggest lie I have ever heard! I know he would have a problem with it. Should I go to her and talk to her? I don’t really want to but maybe it might help? Im at a loss.

@littleonemorning, I agree with her comment!

@jaymebaby07, women know when a woman wants there man. The same way men can tell a man what’s there girl. If they wanna be friends cool. But boundaries cause no female can use my man as a shoulder to cry on. Sorry just not happeneing . He got enough females in his family if he want friends lmao

@jaymebaby07, it would be different if she was coming to both of you as a couple. My husband has some female friends, but they’ve also made an effort to be my friend too. So the fact that she is just going to your husband, is a no. She is totally seeking comfort in him. Just remind him that you trust him, but the situation makes you uncomfortable. And ask him to put himself in your shoes, how would he feel if he roles were reversed?

@italianarosemarie, that’s what I am saying!!!!! I know that I’m not feeling this way for no reason! Part of me feels like I’m being a little hard on him about it though and maybe she isn’t “one of those girls”?

@littleonemorning, I feel the same way about that and I don’t feel like I am in the wrong feeling that way. My husband got mad at me because I told him that she was looking for comfort in him. I am a woman! I know these things....then he started guilt tripping me and telling me he is going to lose all his friends and that she was there for him through his hard times before me and that makes him an awful friend when he can’t help her....😩 part of me feels bad and the other part is like hell no! You don’t have conversations like this with a married man! 😡

If it bothers you it’s for a reason I say listen to your gut then talk to your partner about it because woman can be just as sleazy with that “friend” shit the way guys can be.

That’s a little too personal for me. I mean if there friends cool but doesn’t she have girlfriends to talk too about her cheating husband? I hate females like this. And then if you show ur upset your “jealous” man. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

I have a big no no rule about members of the opposite sex going to each other for relationship advice.