Some nights when I am just laying in bed and I just can't get to sleep. I look over at My Son and think to myself. How can I do this to him? How can I put him in this world? Babies are just so innocent, so new. Nothing has even hurt them yet. I just think to myself why! Why do I want My Innocent Little Baby Boy to grow up in a World like this one! Why do I want him surrounded by Hatred, and Fear, and Death, and being Poor, and struggling to get through life. Like, I know that there is a lot of Good in this world, but I feel like there is more Bad, than Good. This Innocent Little Baby has to struggle through life, just like we all do. It just makes me feel so sad. All I want to do is protect My Baby, keep him safe, keep him innocent. But, in the end You can't. You just can't....
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No you cant protect him from the world but you can teach him from the things that happen and you can teach him to embrace the good in the world and show him how much fun spreading happiness is and you can put some joyfulness back in this shitty world we call earth.
To sit and be helpless and watch my baby have a episode in my arms and I can't do nothing it kills me my eyes all watery. Why don't it just stop like my baby is so tiny and all I can do is hold him and pray over him...
Trigger. Lost baby
Went in for my 20 week check up and found out our son had passed away. Nothing was wrong, my pregnancy has been going great. I'm so numb right now. I'll he delivering him later this week. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. Not before Christmas. How am I'm going to tell my kids?? My dear sweet baby boy. Why did this happen?
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...
Why can't other mom's just be there for other mom's and work together and help each other not bash other mom's because when other mom's bash other mom's it makes us feel like we aren't doing a good job at least that's how I feel when I get bashed.
I want to cut my hair or maybe give myself bangs again. but I want it to grow . oooo poopsauce. why can't it just be blue again. lolol. my third world problems I know .