So my 19 year old son just up and left the house at 1 am to ride around and smoke with his friends, I’m pissed and just…

OMG. That's tough. I was a troubled teen growing up. My mother threatened me to send me off to military school if I didn't stop with my bad behavior. The more you try to control the situation the more they rebell. One of these days he will get into trouble that will wake his ass up and he will get himself together. I would talk to him again and if he chooses not to listen, lock the doors until he listens. Or really consider boot camp.

@mumof2, ain’t that the truth! But the tough love thing don’t work with him I’ve already kicked him out a few times I sent him to job corps at 17 because he was bullying in school, I hate a bully and he was one! After a year and a half of job corps he came home with his diploma and a certificate in construction that was the end of 2016 he refused to get a job or even get off his game system to help out around the house he was smoking cigarettes in my house which is a huge Problem with me in my house but he was and was butting them out in my windowsill in his room there are still burn holes in the wood as well as he was urinating in bottles and buckets because he didn’t want to get off the game to use the bathroom he would also wait until I went to bed to go downstairs and eat everything he could and then would swear by morning he didn’t do it I buy the can spaghetti for my 2 year old because it’s what he likes to eat for lunch so I stock up every time I go food shopping he would eat a few cans every night while I slept sweat he didn’t say there must be a ghost because it wasn’t him until one day I went through his room because it stunk like something died in there and found 63 of cans or rotting sauce in a suit case he didn’t even dispose of it needless to say I kicked him out thinking well tough love the kid needs to learn to be a man since then he has burnt every bridge he had because know one wants him in there house because of the same reasons he wont get a job don’t contribute don’t help out thinks e can sit around and smoke weed all day he has come back about 3 times since and he just came back a couple days ago because he was kicked out of the last place he had to go which was his aunt on his fathers side he lost all his cloths since all the moving around and hardly showers without being told he stinks he literally has only one care in the world and that’s smoking and chilling with his friends he’s 19 and still never had a girlfriend he expects me to still take care of him like when he was under age but I refuse to buy his cloths and shoes and continue to house him and feed him if he won’t help himself in anyway he was supposed to attend college in the fall my mother sent him admissions money but e spent it on weed I was so proud he was doing something and he never even did it I’m just at wits end it’s like I don’t want my son to think I’m throwing him away but I also have o worry about the health and safety of the children in my home myself and my unborn baby but he’s got kno where left to go !!

@krys that's how it is with teenagers they think their always right smh

Yeah I mean he is 19 so the telling him he can't leave part isn't going to work, because technically he is an adult. But when he does leave let him know he better have a place to stay because your doors will not be opened and I will be sleep so good night and stay safe. You want to protect your child at all times I know but in order for a man to mature he needs tough love and a glimpse of reality

I would tell him yes you can leave but you cant get back in! You need your rest and peace of mind. Some kids need to learn the hard way. I have a 12 yr old so i hope he will not try me one day.

@skylersmommy11916, Yes you are absolutely right it’s does help to be calm and talk and explain things , but yes I have tried all these things before and just can’t seem to get through , it’s only him my other teenage boys will listen when I express any concerns with my 17 year old he listens and we talk and he is open with me and usually by the end of a conversation he’s saying yes mom your right and I won’t do this or that whatever it is at the time , but my oldest he’s just not like that right away I’m the bad guy and Im on his back about everything , im only on him about things that are important other then that I leave him to do and make his own choices in life but this is just unsafe and that’s what it became an argument ,

Were you honest with him about why you don't like him doing that? Did you tell him before that it was out of motherly concern for his safety? Sometimes it helps to be calm and honest with your kids and talk to them like adults even if they may not act like one sometimes. I never raised a teenager, too young for that yet lol, but I'm just saying from experience when I was one.

I hope and pray that he does come around and changes his ways before its too late.

@lillynellasmom, I’m going to pray at this point I think it’s all I can do ! I hope he does come around because I don’t think I could handle losing a child , I’m a strong person but not that strong and that’s the path he’s on!!

@krys that what i was thinking too i would just let him know that ecen though i know he may nit care or listen but at least you'll know you told him and hopefully he comes around.

@lillynellasmom, your right, and that’s exactly how I feel about it , but I guess that mother guilt just kicks in and I think maybe I’m wrong , I’m just worried and angry all at the same time like why in the world would you go ride around in the night with friends to get high it’s so dangerous I’m not trying to bury my son

I would have done the same!!!

Girl I know some of my friends that are still living with their parents their grown 27 years old they live by their roles and pay rent on top of that. You are totally in the right I will tell him if he doesn't want to live by your rules and doesn't want to pay rent he can find somewhere else that he can do what he want at what ever time of night lock that door he should know better and want his brothers and sisters to be safe and you.