I have a question ladies. I live in Michigan so anyone who lives under the MI laws and been through similar situation please comment. But anyone's comment and info is helpful and accepted. So I have my daughter and I have had her since birth. She has my last name (both of me and her father's actually but mine is last). Me and her dad don't live together, I stay with my mom he stays with his sister and we have never been married, we are on and off a lot but I've always let him see his daughter. He says he doesn't want to pay child support and he wants some decisions of his own when it comes to her so she is trying to have joint custody. I want sole custody (which I have already). He is trying to take me to court over it but I'm not sure what will happen if he does. He has a felony for selling drugs, I have a clean record, he has a history of not being able to hold jobs, I hold jobs well, he is still on parole, and I have been the one taking care of my daughter day in and out days even a whole week without his help and my daughter isn't very comfortable with him for too long. Not to mention I breast feed and take her to all her appointment's the first one he missed. Hell even when she was 2 weeks old he demanded I bring her around the corner in the cold to see his mother, when she has a car and is capable of coming to see her I didn't want to risk my baby getting sick but I went out of respect and I enter the apartment full of weed smoke because him and his mother had been smoking yes they were high and my baby had to inhale that bullshit. What are my chances of keeping her in my sole custody. I will still allow him to see her but I don't trust him so I want it to be so on my terms.
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@motherofthemoon, what about child support? Does it give you info
@motherofthemoon You're correct! He won't have "legal right" until he gets an attorney and goes through court bc you two were never married
@motherofthemoon Yes- just document everything... If he threatens you keep in mind you can file harassment and get a restraining order as well... As of now you do have sole residential custody bc you aren't married... The ball is in your park.
@motherofthemoon, I was told that’s not the case
@ccancilla3 I thought sole custody automatically goes to the mom at birth. I really don't know.
Sole custody only is when a judge orders it .. it’s his responsibility to pay child support .. bring his ass and you’ll win
@motherofthemoon we weren't married at the time we lived together I moved out and in with my cousin then we rented a house together for a little bit but she moved out before we had to do our home visits for court
@toshagager I'm not married to him thank goodness, but at least you still won your babies. That's my goal. He can't take care of her like I do he is just a control freak
Years ago I fought my husband for custody he wanted to bring it up to the judge that I was using medical marijuana she didn't care I even told her that he was using it and he wasn't a card holder but she still didn't care but I won in the end even with him trying to play dirty I was smart enough to not be stupid or let myself get in as trap but it was all over in a few months
@danielzamor2007 I could care less if he and I don't stay together with how he has treated me when we were together. I'm going to document his fb messages and try to record his verbal abuse and harrassments when he threatens me. But I'm so happy I can keep and take care of my baby. That's all I care about. He is a very hateful type of man hates white people hates gays hates a lot of things and points the finger at everyone but himself. I don't want my daughter raised on hate. Thank God 🤗
@motherofthemoon No problem- anytime! You honestly have nothing to worry about... The magistrate always tries to keep the child with the mother in most cases... I've seen a mother on drugs and homeless who has gotten to keep her children.... She had to enter a program and finish- get a job and a home was provided... She had to take parenting classes etc- but my point is they do favor the mother... In your case- you work, you're not on drugs, you have a roof over your head's, and you are not unfit in anyway- you have nothing to worry about... Now- he he continues to say these things you can get him for harassment... Even if there's times you two get along- with the way he sounds you need to keep documentation of everything.... Keep in mind too- lawyers aren't cheap- so if doesn't want to pay child support then he isn't going to want to pay 5-7 thousand dollars either... And believe me this isn't a wham bam type thing- a custody case can be dragged on for 2-3yrs... Don't worry girl!
@danielzamor2007 thank you so much for informing me. 🙏🏾 I definitely am not an unfit mother my baby is in great care a great environment where I have family helping me, I have a job that pays more than minimum wage and 40 hours a week, I got the job while 7 months pregnant and held it. That makes me feel so much better. I cried so hard when I thought he was trying to take her from me.
@motherofthemoon oh and BTW- he WILL pay child support... With his record he would get granted custody and without you two every being married and you're not on the same page when it comes to parenting he won't get granted joint... He'll get granted visitation and possibly they'll be supervised due to his record... Therefore you will be the residential parent with full custody and in that case he will have no choice but to pay child support.. he'll also have to provide her a second insurance more than likely.... The only rights that he will end up having in this case would be his visitation time and he will still have access to daycare information, Hospital information, and school information...
@motherofthemoon Good morning! My mom's sister (my aunt) is an attorney... I'm currently a teacher but I'm in "late night" law school so I can give you some tips/advice... Every state does have its own laws- but when. It comes to custody cases- nine times out of ten they remain the same! A Magistrate always leans towards mother to be the residential parent- unless proven unfit.. If never married it's very rare for a Magistrate/judge to grant "joint custody".... Also- keep record of EVERYTHING that will help hold your words in court... Demand drug test as well... If he wasn't using any sort of drug- more than likely they'd Grant him every other weekend, and maybe a mid-day weekday for a few hours... But while on drugs- he'd probably be granted supervised visitation until he can prove himself to be off drugs... The judge may make him take drug classes as well... I honestly wouldn't worry about it- he also has a record that can be easily pulled up in court...
@lulu85_18 My state is considered a mother state it favors the mother very highly over the father. I mean they could easily do a urine test on him and he will drop dirty. The drug charge he got it in 2016 and spent all of 2017 on parole he also was about to get a weapons charge but I think he took a plea deal for that. He sees her everyday since this past Sunday now and that's only because I told him he needs to stop sitting around getting high and scrolling Facebook doing nothing at his sister house and come spend more time with his daughter otherwise she will never like him. He is only doing everything he is doing ultimately because he doesn't want to pay child support. He has stated that to me.
Don’t sign anything. See about getting free legal aid involved. Honestly, he doesn’t have a leg to stand on. He sounds like an unfit parent.
He may be granted 50/50 though - depending on how lenient your state is. My only experience is in Florida and it kinda sucks. Be prepared to fight for supervised visitation. You need some sort of proof that he is still involved in illegal behavior. You’ll need to prove your case with evidence - video, audio, or photos. How old is the drug charge? That helps in your desire to keep sole custody, but not entirely since he’s seeking more time and wants to be more involved. Sorry you’re going through this.
@cizzle27 that makes me feel so good. Today he was talking about having me and him sign some papers I guess would allow him he joint custody but I'm not signing anything I didn't agree to
@motherofthemoon @ccancilla3 She is entitled to Child-Support regardless as long as he's on the birth certificate...