I Don’t usually put my business on here but lately i been kinda sad knowing my child won’t have a father because he failed to tell me his family is racist and everything has to be a secret. it’s just like to much I just feel like my baby is a blessing not a secret and I shouldn’t have to hide him , I want my child to feel special I thought I was doing the right thing by cutting all ties with him but I don’t want to be selfish towards my child and not make him have a father idk what to do and time is getting closer and closer I don’t want to be a bad or bitter mother I want a happy child 😭😭😭😔😔
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I feel that, the guy needs to remember that’s his child not the “family” child. He needs to step up and be a dad, if he really loves his child. I’m sorry but racism excuse is not cutting it.
I’m so sorry! That is awful of him to do and say.
Does the baby’s father want to be involved with the baby? If he does, I would encourage him to. Him saying it needs to be a secret is something very selfish and immature of him. I really hope he’s not using it as an excuse to not be there. It sounds like he doesn’t want to man up to his parents. He created this life and he needs to step up.
My bf’s family for whatever reason absolutely hates me and has only met me once. Once they found out I had a child, was in my 30s, and am divorced - they told him to break up with me. I’m praying things change with his parents once the baby comes. He is involved, but his parents don’t want him to marry a divorced woman.
Every family has its drama. You just have to work through it though. This man sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. It shouldn’t matter what his family thinks of you - it shouldn’t change the way he treats you.
@ckaitate, it happens more than we know I’ve heard of many stories women have shared where their parents disowned them and once that baby was born they fell in love with that baby and felt bad to even had so much hate... he just needs to man up and own up to it. He was able to lay down with u and make that baby he needs to be man enough to come out to his family and take whatever is given to him for his child I’m sure they would end up loving the child I mean how can u hate a baby u gotta be a cruel ass person to do that...
@nikki9109, thank for sharing that with me I hope one day people might actually change.
That’s crazy I’m sorry u have to go through that.. my great grandparents, my greatgrandfather passed 5 years ago my great grandmother is still alive, they were racist and still kinda is... but my grandma married a black man she is white my great grandparents did not like black people disowned my grandmother and told her they want nothing to do with the kids... well eventually when they were almost teenagers my grandparents finally met their grandkids and fell in love with them... my mother is the only one out of the three girls who married a black man.. my great grandparents would say nasty stuff to them guess they weren’t happy my mom followed her mother footsteps as my grandparents are no longer together... but I had very little relationship with them they still loved me and my sister but was nasty towards my father... until five years ago my great grandfather passed my grandmother really started having a relationship with all of us now even she gets along with my dad I see her almost everyday now that I live closer to her
You just have to protect your child and that’s what it sounds like you are doing. You don’t want that around your child nor growing up and being around people that if they are racist will treat him differently than anyone else. Just do what you gotta do to keep that baby safe. You don’t want your child in that toxicity. Good luck mama!
@bbyzvcy18, thank you I really appreciate that and that sounds smart too. Just a lot to think about
Racist people are the most disgusting people to be alive ESPECIALLY when they are racist towards an innocent baby!
I totally understand how you feel when it comes to having to be considerate of how our decisions may affect our child in the future when they are old enough to think for theirselves. My advice is that IF he wants to be a part of your child's life then let him be whether you are with him or not. I grew up without my dad during my childhood years and i really wished that i had that bond with him.
BUT, i can tell you that i would never ever allow my child to go around any of his people who wanted me to keep my baby a secret and is racially against my baby. Fuck that shit! Even if they ever apologize, shit will never be the same and that's just me protecting my child from disgusting people like that. Trust me, your baby will totally understand your point when it comes to him/her not knowing his dads side of the family. As a matter in fact let him explain it himself to your baby in the future WHY your baby is not a part of his family.
To be honest IF i was him and that was my family, i'd be the first to disown their racist asses... and i wouldn't give a F if it was my very own parents!
That's so shitty. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that.
@ckaitate I get that...and I'm sorry...if it were me and my boyfriend wanted to keep me and baby a secret, I wouldn't want it...bc you and your baby ARE a blessing and if he cant see that rn I think it would cause you and baby more pain down the road...
@babymomma2018, I feel like I’m doing the right thing but sometimes idk because it’s not a about me it’s about the baby and I know how it feels not to have a father in my life. My dad wasn’t around for years and I felt like crap because other kids had both parents and I didn’t I just don’t want my baby to feel like that
I'm so sorry...idk if you want my opinion but i personally think you are doing what's best for your baby. If his family is like that, you nor your baby need that negativity in your life. ❤ I'm sorry your going thru this :/
But it’s okay girl I’m a single mama