Does anyone have any suggestions for what to say to a mom who has intimidated you for your whole…

I didnt have a relationship at all with that person for that reason so communication has ceased

@beemommyof3, I unfortunately cannot cut off all communication😔

Unfortunately she will not change. Older folks are set in there ways. Our relationship is better now having done so because it took her power away. She realized her opinion no longer mattered.

@beemommyof3, I’m at a loss of what to do😔

My husband’s family completely accepts me as their own and treat me so great... I’m just so embarrassed and ashamed that my family can’t do the same with him.

Tell her she needs to change or she won’t come around anymore. There is no reason to be rude and disrespectful to you husband. That’s just toxins you don’t need in your life or child’s life.

@keepingupwithhj If you havent sat down to talk to her about how you feel then I would start there. If it continues then you need to cut ties. It is a must for your personal sanity and your relationship because that will cause him to spite you

@beemommyof3, you’re right, I just don’t know what to say. I’ve always been THE worst with conflict. It gives me so much anxiety.

It isnt a conflict really. The question I would ask is "Why are you so rude, mean and disrespectful to my husband?". Get to the root.

@beemommyof3, well I kind of already know why. See, I had an unplanned pregnancy out of wedlock when I was in college (which drove her crazy) so she insisted that we get married or she would cut me off financially. So we did, and he quit school to work and I started classes online. She strongly feels that anyone who doesn’t have a college degree is a “nobody” and will never make something of themselves.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to go, it’s that he literally has no way to right now (financial reasons) and she judges him for it. We are dependent on both of our families until he can get a stable job (which he will be soon).

The whole topic of college really depresses him because he does want to go back, it’s just not possible right now. She is constantly drilling him about it and it makes him furious and depressed.

Why doesn't he just say he is in school online lol

@beemommyof3, because he owes student loan debt. The university he went to will not release his transcript until it is paid.

So he is done with school or no?

@beemommyof3, no he’s not. He will go back as soon as we get the debt paid off.

Thats why I said he should just lie lol. How would they know

@beemommyof3, I mean.. they would find out eventually if he doesn’t graduate

My mom does this also. She was pissed that we moved to Ohio and said horrible things to me about him. I told her that we're married and a team, and if she doesn't have anything nice to say to say nothing at all. Well, she kept up, so we had to cut ties for a long time. She finally quit acting like a jerk and we're in contact again. Honestly though, other than cutting ties, I don't know what would have worked. People like that, who act holier than thou, won't change until the power shifts.

@evococa, I know😔