My mother just went through a divorce & has been staying on my couch since the day before Halloween.…
My mother just went through a divorce & has been staying on my couch since the day before Halloween. & the welcome is losing its flare right about now...
Key points 🔑
• been on my own since I was 15, because she chose the flavor of the week over her kids... complete creeps every time!
• always had the worse relationship since day one, not even joking in the slightest
• almost a 10 year gap in any sort of communication or involvement in my life
• my son is almost 2 & we reconnected when he was 6 months old
• said she was coming for a visit & dropped the ball about the divorce
• assumes she is moving with us when we move for my husbands job
I love my mother I do but she comes with allot of baggage & my husband & I, we are used to it just being us & having our own space & a quiet, happy life.
I’m just overwhelmed & spent with it all! I worked so hard to come up from where I came from & now Were supporting my mother?! What’s wrong with this picture?! I’m sorry to rant but holy crap!! I don’t even know how to process much less handle it! All her kids are grown, have their own lives & starting their own families. It’s time for her to have her own life & take care of herself not move in with me & mine when she gets dumped!! #mommyissuesfordays
Shayla Galloway ·
Hang in there. It will be ok
sherry S·
I left home at 16 had my own place...my mom isn't motherly or grandmotherly ..when my dad died i bought her groceriers 2 yrs straight helper her pay bills. AND she allows my middle sister to live there RENT free her whole life she only moved out for 1 yr..we are responsible for our children that's it ! Stay strong
Charlotte Jorgensen·
Мама дочки-младенца
The best thing that you can do for your mom is to tell her that she needs to find her own apartment and she has two months to leave. Set clear boundaries for yourself. It's an act of love. If you're there to catch her every time she makes a mistake she'll keep making those mistakes. It's like giving a drunk a drink. Plus it makes your life miserable which you totally don't deserve.
Kayla Hammond·
Мама сына (1 год)
@charlottej, I’ve even gone as far offering to help her her first 3-4 months even with her having a job just so she’s comfortable but it’s seems she is set on living with us or completely disconnect. I feel like I have to cut my losses in order to protect my family from her & myself
Kayla Hammond·
Мама сына (1 год)
@sherrynygirl, amen! I know it may seem wrong to not want to support my mom even though she brought me into this world, I love her I do, but there, personally, is a limit & ive reaches mine. My husband & I are trying to have another baby. At this rate though the stress of it all will do more damage than motivation
Charlotte Jorgensen·
Мама дочки-младенца
@hammond.kayla24 I highly agree. She sounds like she is the queen of guilt trips. Better to protect you and your kids from her. But it also helps her too. When you stop being the safety net it can act as a wake-up call. She needs to grow up and be an adult. She is acting like a petty child.
Kayla Hammond·
Мама сына (1 год)
@charlottej, exactly! Feels like I’m 7 all over again trying to please mommy dearest
Lisa·
D@hammond.kayla24 Don't let her do that to you. It's called "parentification". All of us with less-than-responsible moms know that feeling. It seriously IS okay to cut ties. If a relationship is toxic then it isn't serving you or your other loved ones. You tried. You've paid your dues. People who don't support your decision to cut ties just simply don't know what it's like to have a parent like that. But you do. You know what's best for you. Trust your gut.
Kayla Hammond·
Мама сына (1 год)
@lisaadamsphone, thank you! It’s really been hard because she’s is my mom but you’re absolutely right something has got to give