Ok so I haven’t been on here in a while, so hi mommies, how you all been? Kinda weird to all post out of the blue but I’m kinda at a loss for what to do and I am hoping for fresh perspectives, and thinking my hubby won’t read this....
My daughter is 15 months old tomorrow. While I was pregnant with her, my husband developed a drinking problem. When she was 4 months old he lost his job. I quickly got a better job than I had had before but I still wasn’t able to make what he had been making, plus our healthcare now costs a lot more, so we moved in with his parents a couple months later.
I was hopeful that being at his folks house would curb his drinking as he wouldn’t want them to see him all messed up, and it did... for a while. Then after a few months it got SO bad they were toying with the idea of kicking him out. He actually got physical with me for the first time ever, picking me up off my feet and throwing me down on my back on the living room floor while our daughter, who he had plucked from my arms and plopped on the couch directly beforehand, looked on, crying. I very nearly called it off that day, but he was very apologetic later that I was hurt, and to his credit he hasn’t laid a hand on me since.
A few weeks ago he actually got sober and I was starting to see the man I feel in love with again. For a couple weeks life was really good, but then again he started drinking again (my fault, of course) and it all went back to the way I felt before when he was drinking. He tries to make me feel bad about myself, he blames me for everything that is imperfect about our lives, says he can’t get a job because he needs to watch Emma (hello childcare) and this makes me feel depressed.
I am to the point now that I hate his drunk side. I want my husband back, but he won’t admit he has a problem. “Don’t blame the booze” and everything is my fault “you’re the worst thing that ever happened to me” he spouts at me between the night shifts I am working trying to support our family and pay down his debts.
When he is sober I see glimpses of the man I feel in love with. When he is really drunk I am afraid of him, that he may lose control and try to hurt me again or worse, that he may inadvertently hurt our daughter.
I need to rescue him from his addiction, but I don’t know how. Does anybody know how?
Комментарии
@eryka616, he didn’t do that. He took her from me but at the time I didn’t know what he was up to so I let him. He set her on the couch, he didn’t throw her. He threw me. I was upset because she SAW it; she was not involved
You need to get out now! Him ripping your daughter from your arms and throwing her on the couch should’ve been the biggest red flag. I can understand if he was just abusing you but he’s abusing your daughter too. You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved and doesn’t admit he has a problem since he just blames it on you.
I personally would leave him and let that be an eye opener for both him and you. if he cares about you or your daughter he will stop and get his shit together. if not then he will continue away with his drinking. DO NOT put yourself in the position to be scared of him when he's shit faced drunk, try talking to him when he's sober, if nothing is working right now the best thing in my opinion would be for you to leave for a while. If you see no changes or any chance at changing at all then you know it's for the best to stayaway and just focus on you and your daughter
By walking away and letting him fall flat on his ass before you and your daughter are victims of domestic violence again or something much worse. He has to want it and you can't do it for him. Stop paying for him and let him fall. Take care of you and your baby and if he gets better then awesome. But the baby comes first. NOT him!!!!!
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...
Question. I just left my husband for cheating and now hes been harassing me. Hes threatening to come get our son. I dont care if he sees his son but I'm not comfortable with him leaving with him bc hes never taken care of him a day In his life and he might use him against me. Am I wrong for feeling this way??
so i txted my bd an told him i might wanna move the shower to the park instead of his sisters house because of our arguement an he ignored me so now i will ignore him an not tell him when the baby actually comes. am i wrong??
How are your men while TTC?
My DH told me about 6 months ago that he had changed his mind and didn't want anymore kids. I was so heartbroken and devastated but I just went on with life trying to accept it. Even though I didn't bring it up again, I am pretty sure he could tell how his decision affected me and how sad I was about it.
So my ex went to court and filed for visitation rights. I was served last week. I am not comfortable with our daughter being around him alone nor his mother which he lives with. I have proof of him asking me to take his drug test for his job for him in text messages and him texting me he was too high to drive and get our daughter milk. Is that enough to show the judge? As far as his mother she watches his son quite often and told us she gives him nighttime medicine if she has problems getting hi...
@amorrione, oh okay, that’s still a very dangerous and scary situation. She will think that it’s okay for men to treat her that way as well