getting closer to my bf leaving me. which would be great if he wasn’t going to take full custody of…

What makes you say all That?

@stevie.savoie22, he said last month if we don’t work out the baby stays at his moms house with him n her

@lavender13 um there's no way that that would ever happen hun sorry. Unless you're a drug addict.

He can't just take full custody unless he has a good enough reason and even then you have time to build a case against him

Texas is a mom friendly state when it comes to custody so he'd have to have a lot of ground to stand on to take full custody. But if you're doing everything right he shouldn't be able to take custody just like that.

@believeinbuddha, he says im emotionally unstable. i was in a mental hospital for 2 weeks when i was 17 for depression. and i went to therapy last month. he will use my depression against me

Exactly what they said.

But if you know this is how he feels then you need to be proactive instead of reactive and get your shit together quickly. If you're not already working find a job and all that good stuff.

@lavender13 there is no case there. He is trying to scare you.

@mrsgoulding, i hope so

Hell, don't put him on the birth certificate.

@lavender13 he can't use your depression against you that's not how custody works. They don't just take kids away from their parents unless they are unfit. Period. If you suffer from depression like the other 10% of our country's population that doesn't make you unfit. You don't worry about it. The court WANTS to do 50/50 with parents when they separate unless given a GOOD reason not to.

@stevie.savoie22, i just got hired for a new job. and i want to go back to school in august to finish. id be getting paid to go from my dad military benefits.. if he left me. id have much less stress and handle a baby just fine.

Oh yeah he won't win. You're depression affects you. He has no proof it will affect your parenting or your newborn. They will tell him that as well

@believeinbuddha, but i’ve self harmed before so theres that :/ but he has adhd n his mom is in control of his disability check(which she doesn’t share with him) he doesn’t have a job or drivers license.

@lavender13 sounds like you already know what you need to do. Ask yourself what he has to offer and what does he bring your life?

@stevie.savoie22, yeah i don’t wana have to do anything though. since i’ve been pregnant i do everything. i just pick him up so he can be at the ultrasounds. he doesn’t provide any money for anything.

@lavender13 it honestly doesn't matter. If he brought up your self harming at court you could just deny it. Simple as that.

My ex does the same and always tries to scare me. He is a very mean person. I have learned to be strong for my kids. I am the better parent

@lavender13 sound like dead weight. You can do so much better.

Everything will be just fine hun , my ex threaten me too to take my child away once she is born but he said that because we broke up because I work and don't need anything from him to take care of my baby girl .. @lavender13

@believeinbuddha, i have a ton of scars :/ they’ll be visible when i give birth

@lavender13 wear a jacket and pants.

@jingle_belles, if i break up with him he will just say it’s cause im guilty of everything he accuses me of. and say i didn’t really love him n make me feel bad.

@believeinbuddha, im saying when im in the hospital bed n that gown they give u. his family will be witnesses to it

@believeinbuddha that's called perjury. If he has any proof that she has self harmed and she lies and said she didn't, that could be jail time.

Mama, as long as you are getting help and moving forward, THAT'S what matters. Not the past. Get help if you need it and never be ashamed of what you've gone through. Especially at 17? Therapy is good. Therapy is showing you are getting help. If you had cancer, he couldn't use chemo against you.

@jingle_belles, it’s just hard. his whole family is against me now. im on my own. so they win out of being the more aggressive ones. i feel backed into a corner :/ i really wanted a 2parent home

Plus, you have a say about who is in that hospital room. He doesn't even have to be there if you don't want him to. Do not ever be ashamed of your scars and never be with someone who makes you feel embarrassed of them.

@eaj8290, thank you. im trying my best. itd be much easier without his negativity. so if anything i should get the baby for sure if we broken up

@lavender13 okay do this....don't have family in the room at all, so they can't see anything on your body. You have that right. Also with his threats, if they get worse, a restraining order would definitely make him look bad, and absolutely DO NOT put his last name on the birth certificate!!

@juliaschade41, yeah. i hate to have to do all that. i was gona give the baby his last name but now. idk

Just focus on you and the beautiful gift you have growing inside of you. If you need help, speak up. Stop confiding in him if he makes you feel that way.

@eaj8290, when i express myself he gets mad n says im making him the bad guy. when i don’t say anything he says im holding back n that makes me a liar :/ so idk. im hoping he just breaks up with me soon

@lavender13 if you do, you will have a less chance of having full custody. The law needs to know that that child is solely yours. My daughter has my last name, that way i have all rights and she is completely mine. The baby needs to have your last name, or you're gonna fuck yourself over and regret it later on. The baby needs you and only you. He's dangerous and a nuisance.

@juliaschade41 he can take her to court and petition for a name change. It's not that simple.

@eaj8290 its that simple in georgia anyways.

@lavender13 he sounds like a manipulative twat. You need to just leave. Anywhere is better than with him.

@juliaschade41, yeah i agree. i’ll have to give him my last name. i just wanted to have hope things would get better but it hasn’t this whole pregnancy

@juliaschade41 she can put her last name and she'll get served court papers for a DNA test and last name change.

@eaj8290 oh well i didn't have that problem. Tho my situation was completely different.

@lavender13 everything will be fine hun. Don't worry and just keep praying. Perhaps he will end up leaving you alone or things might change by the time the baby comes. You still have some time.

@eaj8290, thatd be okay. the baby is definitely his

You have plenty of time to think about the name stuff. Right now you need to be safe.

@eaj8290, thank you. i just feel bad about all the stress cause i know my baby feels it. he had his back turned to us during my ultrasound n he’s never done that :/

thank you guys for everything 💕i feel a bit better. i’ll keep my head up 🌻