#momlifechats
Moms,
Welcome to #momlifechats! We’re so excited to welcome Infant & Child Sleep Consultant Hailee Schollaardt (@nurturingsleepsolutions). Hailee has been a Certified Sleep Consultant for 3.5 years. She has 3 kids aged 4.5 years, 2.5 years and 6 months and knows all too well the difficulties of a non-sleeping baby. “My first baby was 11 months old before he slept his first 2 hour stretch (It was a wednesday) and since then I became obsessed with learning about sleep!” Hailee classifies herself as more of a gentle sleep coach and encourages parents to do what works best for their own family. “Always advocate for your family and your baby! After all, you know them best!” She has worked with many families and loves providing tools to help improve sleep for every family she meets. Healthy Sleep equals Happy Families!
Hailee’s top 3 sleep tips:
1.) Create a baby cave! The body is cued by light levels and so darkness in the room environment is so important. We want that room to be pitch black if we can. This helps newborns feel at home (in the womb) and it help’s older babies produce sleep hormones.
2.) Use white noise. This is my “must have” in any sleep space. It helps newborns feel at home because it sounds like the womb and it helps older babies to cycle through sleep cycles. Use a constant sound such as static, heavy rainfall or a vacuum. Make sure it does not turn off after a certain interval as we want it to be playing the whole time to help those sleep cycles!
3.) Build strong routines. This is not the same as a schedule. A routine is just the steps you do before putting your baby down to sleep. Each step in that routine triggers the brain to release sleep hormones. Essentially, it acts as your baby’s clock telling the body what time it is… sleep time! Inconsistent sleep routines can lead to inconsistent sleep!
Please ask @nurturingsleepsolutions anything by tagging her in the comments below. And a big thanks to @nurturingsleepsolutions for participating in this chat! Hailee welcomes you to follow her Facebook Page Nurturing Sleep Solutions for more live Q&A’s and helpful Facebook Live sleep tips!
Let’s get chatting!
🍁mom.life_usa🍂
Rock the baby to sleep after you change the diaper and feed them.rub Lavendar lotion on the baby
@taradee17 I would say to just ask their pediatrician. Not every situation warrants having to wake a baby. I had a baby born term who I was told to wake them and a preemie born at 32 weeks where I was told I didn't need to. It had a lot to do with growth and development which is why I would ask a pediatrician or family doctor. If growth curve is good then many doctors agree that it is safe to not wake them. Always ask your doctor to clarify Because your baby is not the same as another.
@nurturingsleepsolutions, my son is 7 months and I’m working on getting him to nap without me during the day, once a sleep schedule is established should I always be home for his nap time? Or could I run errands with him during those times?
@mamamariposaxo, I don't know, you just type in who the message is directed to
@ashtonndamon, I’m not sure if your question was answered but yes you do have to wake a newborn up to feed them every few hours so they don’t lose that nutrition newborns can drop weight easily and need to be fed often to prevent that from happening, it’s hard but I set alarms and every 2.5 to 3hrs.
Some say not to wake a sleeping baby but personally I would make sure your baby gets the nutrition.
Also if you breast feed and don’t feed every 2hours it can cause them to get irritated to the point it’s almost impossible to get them to latch on to you nipple, I had this issue in the hospital because I didn’t know and the nurse told me this. It was very true she was so upset I wasn’t sure what to do at all
@ashtonndamon, I’m not sure if your question was answered but yes you do have to wake a newborn up to feed them every few hours so they don’t lose that nutrition newborns can drop weight easily and need to be fed often to prevent that from happening, it’s hard but I set alarms and every 2.5 to 3hrs.
Some say not to wake a sleeping baby but personally I would make sure your baby gets the nutrition.
Also if you breast feed and don’t feed every 2hours it can cause them to get irritated to the point it’s almost impossible to get them to latch on to you nipple, I had this issue in the hospital because I didn’t know and the nurse told me this. It was very true she was so upset I wasn’t sure what to do at all
@nurturingsleepsolutions, my baby is 6 months and I can’t get my baby to fall asleep without being held in my arms. Every time I put her down and try to let get her to fall asleep on her own she eventually starts crying like crazy. And she only sleeps longer if she’s on her tummy how Can I get her to sleep on her back without waking up every 15-30 mins. Also any tips for taking the paci away at night time she won’t fall asleep without it. Thanks !!!
@nurturingsleepsolutions Great! I'll make some changes to the daytime schedule and see how that works. Great post ...on the sample sleep schedule. Thanks a bunch!
@vvrobinson make sure the daytime schedule is building enough sleep pressure so she can be prepared to sleep through!
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@pdk at 9 months generally 0-2 feeds at night is "normal" in my opinion. Some babies sleep through the night while others wake a couple times. If it is more than 2 though I look at other things that may be impacting the sleep. I make sure daytime scheduling is allowing for the best nights, room environment is good and that there are no sleep props. If she needs a feed to fall asleep at bedtime then this may be causing the frequent night wakings. Maybe try tweaking the daytime schedule first and see if it helps.
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@nurturingsleepsolutions, she doesn’t eat much, i think it’s the idea of being on the boob. Half the time she’s smacking my face or wiggling around until I set her down in the crib and she uses her music to sleep. My husband usually takes care of her every morning so I can sleep in and for the last week she’s been waking up at 7 and I’ve been putting her down to nap at 830 and she sleeps till 11. I’m wondering if it’s cycle changes. I think I’m really tired of nursing her in the middle of the night, I wonder if she will self soothe if I just don’t come up... I know if daddy goes up there she will fully wake up and play.
@pierced_momma I like to keep everything really calm. Start with dinner, have some quiet play, then bath, then really calm as we do lotion and pajamas.
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My baby girl sleep ok most of the time, but I'm curious to know if it's normal to wake up an average of 3 times a night to feed? She's 9m old. Sometime I feel like she has more oz at night than during the day. I'm ok waking up and feeding her, but just curious if it's normal...and how long should I expect her to do so before a full night sleep. She's also very irritable when she wakes and hard to put back to sleep sometimes. Thanks!
@beemommyof3 loud white noise!! Put the noise between her and the door to block out as much noise as possible! I totally hear ya as my toddlers like to play NASCAR outside of my babies room when she is sleeping. Thank goodness for white noise!
@nurturingsleepsolutions what kind of sleep routine would you recommend to wind my 9 month old down for bed? Any type of games or other things?
@vvrobinson I would say if she is only waking once at night, feeds and then goes right back to sleep that maybe she needs the feed? I don't think she has a sleep association because she falls asleep great on her own. If it is exactly the same time every night it could be a habit. This is different than an association or prop. Sometimes what can help is offering a dream feed before you go to bed. This fills her up but also disrupts her sleep cycle a little bit which throws off that regular habit waking. Or you could slightly disrupt her an hour before that typical awakening to see if it throws off the habit as well. Just slightly waking her so she moves just a little bit but not actually waking up. Either way try it for a week and see what happens.
@mommabear1517 totally! Many new babies sleep long stretches like that. If she is feeding well during the day and reaching her growth milestones I would be jumping for joy 😁
@tysmom1017 yes this is very common. When a baby feels the acid coming up it can make them feel like being nursed because it does curb that burning sensation. As soon as the feed is over the reflux continues because now their stomach is fuller and we have even more pressure pushing upwards. My preemie had bad reflux and was also on zantac so I read a lot about it and met with pediatricians to learn more :)
@momlifeinsunnysofla I'm sure you are doing so much better than you think!! This mom stuff is hard work 💖
@lifewithlynniejade88 I have totally been there but the later we keep them up the harder it is for the body to get restful sleep!
@shellbell0391 great job at having so many foundations in place!!
If he is falling asleep or getting drowsy from the bottle then this is probably the cause of the night wakings. When the body falls asleep with a prop such as sucking it makes the body think it needs that prop to fall asleep. This means if he wakes in the night he will often need that to fall back asleep. Working on that prop so he can fall more asleep on his own would be what I would work on next since you have already implemented so many great things.
@beemommyof3 sorry I thought you meant daytime sleep :) ok it sounds like there is a strong sleep associstion. First what I would do is help her nap on a regular schedule during the day just to catch up on sleep. Even if it meant holding and rocking her for the whole nap. The body seems to be stuck in an overtired cycle. Look at these sample schedules. (ссылка
I would make sure I had strong nap and bedtime routines that are exactly the same every day!!! This is so important.
Have room environment optimal for sleep (zero light and constant white noise).
Then you can work on her falling asleep on her own so she doesn't need you to fall back asleep at the end of every sleep cycle. Sleep cycles are around 45-90 min and so if she wakes this frequently then it might mean her body doesn't know how to fall back asleep because she doesn't do it at betime.
I’m curious what you would suggest for me. I nurse my daughter for comfort before nap times and bedtime. Usually for naps she will go down if daddy puts her down but she screams for a few minutes. With me it’s boob for a few minutes and then she’s down wide awake but put herself to sleep peacefully. At bedtime she also goes to bed fully awake after boob. If she wakes as usual around 4 am self soothing won’t work and only boob will get her back down. Any suggestions? @nurturingsleepsolutions
@perkinsjewell1104 great question!! This blog might help and be more detailed:
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@ashtonndamon unless there is a medical indication or reasoning for waking them every "x" hours to feed then I let baby regulate yourselves. Always follow the advice from your local pediatrician
@austinsmommy this sounds like it might be a sleep association. Basically if he falls asleep with a certain object or action then his body will naturally need this cue to fall back asleep at the end of each sleep cycle. At this age we see wake ups every hour or two at the end of a sleep cycle if baby isn't sure how to fall back asleep on their own!
Also make sure daytime sleep schedule is helping encourage healthy night sleep!
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@believeinbuddha in my opinion starting solids does not always improve sleep. In some cases it can when baby is ready but there are many other factors that have a larger impact on sleep than that for babies 6 months and younger.
I'm not sure your baby's age but here is a blog that might help with organizing a schedule :)
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@ecahanes he is going through some big changes right now and so by 5 months you may see more of a schedule emerge. These 2 blogs might help!!
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@simmiebaby this blog might help! This is a hard age and I tell parents to do what they need to do to get rest. You could try elevating the mattress slightly on bassinet or playpen. This sometimes helps. After a feed hold him upright for 20 min (I know that sucks but it can help!), once asleep try putting him down and it can help to warm up the mattress with a heat pad (turn it off before putting him down).
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@lifewithlynniejade88 this sounds like she is falling asleep with feeding too close to falling asleep. When the body falls asleep with a specific action this becomes the cue for sleep just like our pillow and bed signals sleep to our body. So, if you fell asleep in your bed and woke in the middle of the kitchen floor your body would immediately want those cues back. You wouldn't just fall back asleep in the kitchen. This is the same for babies. If they fall asleep while sucking then if they wake in the night their body will need that back and they will fall asleep quickly once they get it. This is why I would try and help her fall asleep without that so she knows how to fall back asleep in the night without it.
@allismith082915 at this age I would make sure her room environment is helping with sleep and so dark room and white noise. I also stress strong routines so the body can prepare for sleep. Daytime schedule is a big deal at this age as well and if a baby is over tired or undertired it can impact nights. This blog might help and make sure the nap schedule is helping with nights ссылка
@simmiebaby I have a 6 week old (Friday) also. He just got put on Zantac for reflux and to see if that will curb his hunger. Doctor said most time their just wanting the acid to be soothed by the milk. Maybe you should check into that if you haven't.
@mommabear1517 this is a very unpredictable age I find. Some good night's and some bad ones. Usually if I don't see things balance out by 5/6 months then I look at making some changes. This is what is happening in the body: ссылка
@momlifeinsunnysofla the 4 month regression hit hard! You are doing things right by having the dark room and white noise so keep that up. Her naps are pretty good as well and so I would just make sure they are happening at times that actually lead to better nights. Wake her at 7 a.m. every morning, nap 3.25 (asleep by 10:15) later and wake at 11:30 latest, nap two 3.5 hours after waking from nap 1 and waking her at 4 latest. Then asleep for the night 3.5 hours after that. See if that helps! Also, have her falling asleep on her own so that at her partial awakenings she can go back to sleep without your help.
This blog talks about what happened ссылка
@cruz_eliza it sounds like the sleep shift just happened a little later! Check this out ссылка
@pierced_momma often times if a baby is waking up and seems ready to party at night i look at daytime schedule. Make sure there is a balance between being awake long enough (so he is ready to sleep all night) and not being overtired (causing the wakings). At this age I recommend 3 hours between morning wake up and nap 1. Then 3.25 hours between nap 1 and 2. And 3.25 hours between nap 2 and bedtime. I also would be waking them up at 7 to tell the body they don't get to sleep in after waking up in the night. This only reinforces the long night waking :)
@nurturingsleepsolutions okay! I just figured the later we stayed up the longer she'd sleep. I was coming about it all wrong I suppose. Thank u for your help! @nurturingsleepsolutions
@beansmuva use white noise! Also make sure you are not pushing bedtime too late. This is a huge shift in the body and so they go from later bedtimes to really early ones as the body shifts. Most babies this age to to bed for the night between 6-7 p.m.
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@lifewithlynniejade88 I would say bedtime is way too late if she isn't getting a good 3 hours of daytime sleep. Maybe try pushing to 1 nap versus 2 shorter ones. Start with an 11 a.m. nap and then every 3-5 days push it back till you are closer to noon. Pull bedtime earlier between 6:30-7 as her body sounds like it is producing adrenaline to try and stay awake! ссылка
@mommabear538 it would really depend on the ages. In some cases naps and bedtimes overlap and sometimes they dont. For example a baby on 3 naps would overlap with an older toddler having 1 nap but a baby on 2 naps wouldn't overlap with the 1 nap schedule. Sometimes a toddler who doesn't nap goes to bed around 7 whereas a younger baby on 2 naps might go to bed closer to 8. It depends on their sleep needs :)
I’m doing all of the things listed up above and my son still won’t sleep 😭 I have a box fan going for white noise (not facing him), no nightlight just a dark room, and he gets a bath every night followed by cuddles, rocking, lullabies, and a bottle. And tonight he’s woken up 3 times so far. Luckily he’s put himself back to sleep after a few mins but that is rarely the cause and I’m EXHAUSTEDDDD
@pnkbuttafly234 short naps are most often caused by room environment (not dark enough and no white noise), timing of daytime sleep (too long between sleep periods) and sleep props (needing something to fall asleep). Make sure the daytime schedule is helping baby nap good and so if on a 2 nap schedule we are waking baby at 7, having nap 1 between 10/10:30, having nap 2 from 3-4 ish, and bedtime between 7:30-8. If on 1 nap have the nap happening mid day so going down between 12:15/12:45. If there is a sleep prop in place meaning baby only falls asleep with a specific action then this could cause lighter sleep and short naps because the body needs help at the end of most sleep cycles (30-60 min).
@nurturingsleepsolutions But she only sleeps 4 to 5 five hours a day in total so what can I do to get her to rest. She takes a 45 minute nap and a 25 to 30 minute nap and she wakes every hour to hour and a half a night. I would love it if she slept 3 hours but she won't even do that.
@lifewithlynniejade88 at this age this is a lot of wakings for them and you! Poor mama! I am not against co-sleeping if it is working but if it is all "co" and no "sleeping" then I look at strategies. First thing I would do is maybe work on the room transition (if you are ready!). Keep the nursing to sleep but always put baby back into crib. You could even move co-sleeping into their room for 3 nights to help the adjustment. Then you could work on eliminating the nursing to sleep by moving it earlier into the routine (even 20 min before bed) and using other methods to fall asleep like rocking or holding. Then you can take the next step of putting them in crib and leaning over the rail to provide constant hands on to help them fall asleep. Basically gently reducing the amount of help they need as they get better at falling asleep. Sometimes co sleeping wakes each other up. If a baby falls asleep with a prop then the brain doesn't associate sleep with anything else which means at each waking it needs it to go back to sleep. This is where props can get tricky!
@nurturingsleepsolutions, how do I put my 12 month old son on a schedule
@nurturingsleepsolutions Do you HAVE to wake them up to feed every 2 hours or should you let them tell you when they are hungry so they get to know their own bodys?( not born yet just trying to learn ahead of time)
@mommy.to.sterling sometimes if bedtime is pushed too late it can lead to more frequent night wakings. Especially if there is a waking about 1 hour after going down. This is due to adrenaline in the body from the bedtime that was too late. At 9 months make sure bedtime isn't much more than 3.5 hours after waking from nap 2. So, if baby woke at 4 then this would mean asleep by 7:30 :)
Its true that starting baby on solids solids does not help them sleep better?
Also, my daughter is almost 4 months and goes to bed around 5 or 6pm. She sleeps for 12 hours exactly, waking up every 2 or 3 hours for a bottle of 3-4 oz. She wakes me up at 5 or 6am every morning! Is there a good way to change her sleep pattern to get her into a routine of going to bed a little later? Or is this normal and should I just let her be?
When should I start doing more of a schedule during the day? He will be four months Sunday. How many naps should he do? He only does 20-30 minute cat naps during the day and I'm wondering if it's because he isn't on a day schedule that much
@mamaprince 6 months is a perfect time to work on sleep. The first thing I would do is get her used to sleeping in the room you want her in. This can be on you in the rocking chair for the first few days. Have the room set up to help encourage sleep hormones which means black room and white noise. Also have a strong nap routine so that her body knows it will be sleeping soon. Then after she gets used to this you can work on putting her in the crib. During times she is happy and awake have some positive play in the crib so that she feels safe in there and builds happy feelings around it. At this age I like to have baby sleeping for nap 1 about 1.75-2 hours after waking in morning. Then 2.25 hours between end of nap 1 and start of nap 2. 2.25 hours between nap 2 and 3 and then 2.5 hours between nap 3 and asleep for the night. Having timing right will allow for better naps
@nurturingsleepsolutions my 6 week old has reflux and we cosleep. He won't sleep for more than 30 mins at a time and wants to eat constantly. How can I start a routine with him and get him to start sleeping in his pack and play
@nurturingsleepsolutions I'm sorry I keep adding to my post but I'm trying to be as detailed as possible. During those 3-5 times she wakes up, she is more feeding for comfort I think because she only eats for a minute or so & goes right back to sleep.
@nurturingsleepsolutions My daughter is a year old the first 4 hours of the night she sleeps sound and doesn't wake up after that she's up 3-5 times a night. Sometimes she wants a bottle other times she doesn't. She's on whole milk. What can I do to get her to sleep better??
@beemommyof3 at 7 months i would say that around 3 hours of total daytime sleep is what we want. Usually 2.5 to 3.5 is where we see babies this age when on a 3 nap schedule and when on a 2 nap schedule I would cap this at 3 hours max per day so the body can build up lots of sleep drive for great nights
I need help. My 11 month was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks, and hasn't since. I did everything from white noise, blackout shades, warm her crib,but she still won't sleep sound. She gets 2 naps a day, about about hour to two and a half total, and she's on a feeding schedule, gets up about 6-7-730am, down by 730-830pm. She's also teething, and I always keep her active during the day. But still she ends up at 5am in our bed, cause she won't go back to sleep, after her night time feed.. Im so exhausted..@nurturingsleepsolutions
My 10 month old slept beautifully for the first six months. At around 6 or 7 months, all of a sudden, he started waking several times at night. Sometimes crying inconsolably until he gets a bottle. What happened? Where did I go wrong? Will I ever get a full night’s sleep again? 😴
@caseyxo2017 at 9 months it is still normal to have feeds at night since there is a ton of growing happening but generally we are seeing it drop down to 1 feed or none. At this age having a dark room, white noise and strong routines are so important for sleep! We also want to be on a solid 2 nap schedule. I like the first nap to happen about 3 hours after waking in the morning. 2nd nap about 3 hrs 15 min (asleep time) after waking from nap 1 and then bedtime 3.25-3.5 hours after waking from nap 2. Waking her up at 7 can set up the best nap schedule for these sleep times and we want the last nap ending by 4 p.m. If there are sleep props then this may be causing the wakings. If your baby falls asleep with a certain prop then this will naturally be what the body needs to fall back asleep at any waking in the night! It is a cue for sleep and if the cue isn't there then they need you. Working on independent sleep with a method you feel comfortable with can help eliminate any props :)
How can I get my 9 month old to not wake up and stay up at 4 in the morning? @nurturingsleepsolutions
Wow I never had these problems my boys were sleeping for 5 to 6 hours at a time by the time they were 2 weeks old and through the night by 4 months
@nurturingsleepsolutions, have a 4 month old that sleeps well during the day and fights it at night, what can I do? I make sure the room is as dark as possible, minimal noise but he’s not having it.
And during the day she only naps two times, for only like 30 minutes to an hour each nap. She goes to sleep by 9 each night as well. @nurturingsleepsolutions
@nurturingsleepsolutions, is it possible to get my kids on the same routine and schedule at different ages?
She wakes more frequently during the last half of sleep too, might I add. @nurturingsleepsolutions
When do they start sleeping longer stretches?! My son is almost a month old and wakes every 2-3 hours for bottles
Hello!! My one year old has always been a light sleeper and since birth a very short napper I️ remember trying to put him down and he would wake . He would startle to any noise .
Now he sleeps about 2 1/2 hours a day then goes to bed around 9. He can fall asleep in his crib no problem but it’s staying asleep that is hard for him and putting himself back to sleep . I️ use a fan for background noise . Temp is always never to cool or hot . He gets a bottle before bed .
Most of the time he wants to sleep he moans and whines in his sleep sometimes putting himself back to sleep or other times waking up fully .
I️m tired and exhausted what am I️ doing wrong?
Oh and we do follow a sleep routine which includes bath, lotion, relax time and snack @nurturingsleepsolutions
My 14 month old wakes anywhere from 3-5 times a night! She's still is breastfed but I'm trying to wean her & we also co-sleep, so I know that's part of the problem! I'm pregnant again & would love to get a good night's rest😍 @nurturingsleepsolutions any tips?
@lifewithlynniejade88 at this age this is a lot of wakings for them and you! Poor mama! I am not against co-sleeping if it is working but if it is all "co" and no "sleeping" then I look at strategies. First thing I would do is maybe work on the room transition (if you are ready!). Keep the nursing to sleep but always put baby back into crib. You could even move co-sleeping into their room for 3 nights to help the adjustment. Then you could work on eliminating the nursing to sleep by moving it earlier into the routine (even 20 min before bed) and using other methods to fall asleep like rocking or holding. Then you can take the next step of putting them in crib and leaning over the rail to provide constant hands on to help them fall asleep. Basically gently reducing the amount of help they need as they get better at falling asleep. Sometimes co sleeping wakes each other up. If a baby falls asleep with a prop then the brain doesn't associate sleep with anything else which means at each waking it needs it to go back to sleep. This is where props can get tricky!