Sitting here on a Friday night thinking about how i am going to do this. In a few weeks i start a full-time job with 40+hours and its graveyard. Also First time ever working graveyard and i haven't worked in the past 10 months also starting school in 3 months. And in 2-3 months my baby boy is having lung surgery. And changing my life style to a vegan so my son can have a healthy life as he can with his health problem. To know his biological dad is just sitting on ass not doing anything and dont have to change his life hurts me and it hurts me looking at my son knowing his dad wanted to abort when we found out about his health problem when i was pregnant. But at the same time looking at him brings me so much joy in my life and he has brought my family even closer and brought back some old friends into my life. I know the next months years will be hard but at the end everything is worth it. And knowing the house he living in will be his home forever because my mom is the best and giving to me is one less thing to worry about. one day he will have someone who he can call dad and be the true definition of a dad to him. Need somewhere to let out my feelings.