Im crying rite now. Bad... My childs father just told me that 3-4 months befor the babys born that hes leaven to flordia with or without me. Im on a methadone program. And i honestly dont know what to do. My mom lives with me and overherd. And shes telling my stepdad who already has enough hatred aganst me and he calls my unbirn baby a bastard... Im honestly tired of everyone here thinking im nothing everyone here hates me litterly talks shit. And starts drama. I do want a new start but i wanted to have the baby and wean off of methadone befor i just up and leave. Idk what to do. I feel like im being ripped apart from my childs father and my mom. Im in tears rite now. I went to the bathrm my mom was on the phone. With mt stepdad and she asked what me and him were fighting about then repeats to my stepdad what i jus said i said mom stop telling him everything i say please. And then mom yelled cheyenne shut the fuck up don't tell me what to do. All mt family is disowning me. Im broken im more like shattered im feeling like i did when i was suicidal and cut my wrist.. And emotional but dont worry cuz im not. I have a baby to think about... Thats why i cant just up and leave to flordia ya know what i mean...like i cant just move until im weaned off the methadone. And if i attempt to do that now then it could kill my child. And after this baby is born which its my first baby... I have a tumor on my uterus and they are going to be tieing my tubes. So this is litterly my only chance. I want this baby more then any thing with all my heart and soul. But i feel like i just wanna end it. Or cut cuz that usually burns my pain away... But i need to stay strong for the baby. Cuz it feels everything i feel. But if something happens to this baby then i am giving up... Everyone keeps saying theres always tomarrow. Well tomarrow aint promised. Im just gonna worry about me and the baby.as a child all i wanted was to have my dad around every single nite id prey and ask if my dad was watching over me...and i don't want my baby to feel the same way.. I need advice and help please u guys...
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I was on subutex while pregnant so if you have any questions about that feel free to message me
@mandaaleexo a little better. Im struggleing real bad now with my pregnacy i just got put on high risk and im just scared... My fenacei is back in the photo and living with me so the living situations better but now struggleing with the pregnacy
Prayers for you that everything will get better soon and your baby is a blessing.
My heart goes out to you and I'm sure you love your child's father but I think youre better off staying put right now. This comes from someone with a long and strange past; coming to Florida will be a mistake for you. I can feel it. Continue your program, please! He hasn't been clean long enough to make such a drastic decision and neither have you. I promise there is absolutely no judgement here, just understanding and concern. Your family may be a pain in the ass but right now you have a for sure and secure place for your baby and unless I'm wrong, you have nothing in FL. Don't go to FL and get yourself in a situation where you really need your family and can't get back on your own. I did that. I left to Indiana from FL while pregnant and it was a horrible mistake and I didn't know what to do. I guarantee that if you stay put and show your parents that youte gonna do every damn thing in your power to take care of yourself and your baby before worrying about being with him, they will come around. Parents are strange creatures and since being one and experiencing some weird and very hard things, I can offer a lot of advice and see the other side of the tracks. I wish you all the luck and love in the world.
At this point you’re going through so much the only guidance I can share is one that has helped me, God. Pray and even if you feel like He isn’t hearing or helping. Things will turn around. I see it as that baby is a blessing, for now it may seem hard but things will turn in your favor. Try to stay strong.
And I also am in a group on Facebook if you would like to join for those on MAT