This was taken a little over a year ago. I remember this day so clearly. It was the day we found out…

This was taken a little over a year ago. I remember this day so clearly. It was the day we found out if our child was a boy or girl. This was also the day I realized that I found the LOML. Or so I thought... Don't get me wrong he's been an amazing partner through out my first pregnancy and been an amazing father for our daughters first 5 months.

Unfortunately people change. The man who I thought was the LOML and amazing father ended up being the man he said he would never be. He went from being respectful and loving to shady and irresponsible . At first I thought no biggie he's hanging out with his friends let him do he's guy things. Then he would tell me he'd be home soon. Soon turned to hours then turned to the following day. I brushed it off at first because he never would go out and I wasn't so hard on him about it. But it became consistent. Calls weren't being answered nor texts being replied. What made things worse was his he needed to pick up our daughter from the sitters one day and never showed up to pick her up.

I was livid I called and texted so much that when he finally came home he packed up all his things and left. He told me I was smothering him. It all went down hill from there. We eventually broke up. We tried to work things out but it felt like it was only me bringing 100% to the table. We broke it off for good when my daughter was 7 and a half months. (Our daughter is now 1)

I later found out I was pregnant. I was afraid and didn't know what to do. I looked in to terminating my pregnancy but the thought of it didn't feel right I couldn't do it. I loved my daughter when I found out I was pregnant with her. Why would I terminate my second child. I still feel guilty thinking about it today. I'm 18wks. I told their father about the pregnancy and the past months he's been trying to come in and out of our life.

Just recently before our daughters first birthday. My children's father and I were trying to work things out. He would tell me he loved and missed us. How he wanted to come home. But it was just words. He hasn't put in any effort to see us or be a family. Since we were broken up he's only seen his daughter once or twice a month. Bare in mind I ask him when he'll come and see her and he says he'll let me know, or he says he'll come this day and when the day comes he is no where to be found. I don't hold her against him, he knows where we live and I told him the doors are open for him to visit. I've never asked for child support but he doesn't offer to help pay for our daughters expenses.

Anyways.... After our last conversation about how he loved and missed us and wanted to be a family I found out he has a new girlfriend. I feel abandoned, alone, used and unloved. I cry for my daughters. All I wanted to do was give them a mother and father. But I don't want my daughters to grow up seeing mommy get walked all over. I know I deserve better, and that was the final straw. I've been really emotional and afraid. I know I'm not the only one going through this. How did you mamas do it. How did you heal and find your strength again. This is all new to me and I'm afraid.