This may be a long post but I can't help but stress over it. I have a daughter who is almost 2. Her father and I split…
This may be a long post but I can't help but stress over it. I have a daughter who is almost 2. Her father and I split up back in march. I starting seeing someone else about a month and a half ago and I am now pregnant again. The guy is super supportive but I can't help but be nervous. I mean we haven't been "together" for long at all. I haven't met his family. He has met my dad and my daughter and is great with my daughter. She absolutely adores him. I can't help thinking about all the difficulties in this situation. I mean I know I will love this child no matter what but my mind keeps going to the "inconvenient" parts. I'm just gonna put them in a list here because idk how else to explain it.
1. We have only been together for a short time and I really didn't think I would get pregnant this fast.
2. Right before he got with me he was with someone else. He actually left her for me. Long story please don't judge me on that. They were together for 4 years and she didn't treat him badly he just met me and realized he would rather be with me. But I'm scared she is gonna find out I'm pregnant and see him or me as bad and I guess she has a right to but it's not true.
3. I'm scared he will leave me because of this girl or leave me the same way he left her.
4. I haven't met his family at all
5. He is in college and dropping out right now isn't a good idea. I understand that because he will owe money if he drops out for a semester he is already signed up for. But that means he can't get a very good job while in school and still make good grades. He has a part time job right now but it's not enough. He could take the next couple semesters off until I go back to work. Problem being I exclusively breastfed my daughter up until she was 10 months old and I had to get a job. I would like to be able to exclusively breast feed this child too for at least that long which means no working. Pumping never worked for me so that's not an option. I will go with formula if I really have to but I really don't want to.
6. Money has been tight lately and there has been a lot going on in my family. My great great aunt has stage 4 cancer and lives 4 states away. My grandfather went to be with her for a little while to take care of her. That has left my grandmother at home alone and she is the one who usually watches my daughter while I work but now she has been insinuating that she can't handle her anymore and I don't really have other options. I can't afford daycare. Also my other aunt is supposed to have surgery and needs someone to help her but that's 300 miles away. The plan was for my grandfather and grandmother to take her and help her with what she needed bit now my grandfather is in Florida and my grandmother can barely get herself around town let alone all the way to where my aunt lives.
Basically this pregnancy is more complicated than my first. And with everything else going on I feel like it's just adding more to the pile of stress for my family. I have only told my dad and a few friends Th ay I'm pregnant though. The rest of my family doesn't know and I'm scared to tell them
Jess🌹♥️·
Well, very quick time to get pregnant.. as easy as it was to leave a relationship of 4 years, I don't know how easily it'll be to leave a baby mama relationship. You're gonna have to make some sacrifices like he does, if he has to drop out of school to make more money for this baby, and money's tight, you're probably gonna have to pump and formula feed and get a job. You can't rely on him, especially if you're scared he's gonna leave me cause of that girl or the same way he left her.
🌹Shantell🌹·
Why didnt you use protection? I am not going to judge you in any way because you live your own life and are your own advocate, but only knowing someone for a few months and getting pregnant isnt good. You havent had enough time to get to know him. Its actually a statistic that if a person cheats their way out of a relashionship they have a high chance of doing it again. Your fear is not unsound. I wouldnt worry at all about the opinion of the other girl.. She isnt in the picture anymore, her opinion doesnt matter at all. That being said, neither of you are in the position to have a baby (and you another) so you will have to make sacrifices to make this work. With the situation already being tense at your grandmas to take care of your baby i cant imagine her taking care of two... Daycare wont be an option if you exclusively brestfeed and dont pump, so he needs to get a job, most certainly. It is a lot to ask of someone who you have only known for a short amount of time but it has to be discussed with him as an option. I'd also start applying for whatever governement assistance you may qualify for. Does he know youre pregnant? You specified your dad and a few friends.. Its not going to be easy and sacrifices will have to be made.. I just feel as if its rushed not only for him but for you as well after just getting out of a relationship such a short time ago, you needed time to breathe and im sure he did as well. Where there is a will though, there is a way. @maxx
Sarah·
Мама дочки (1 год)
Basically I didn't use protection because I was dumb. Not actually dumb because I know I should have i just wasn't quite thinking. I told him as soon as I knew. I'm just terrified right now. My dad is happy and has a good opinion of the guy on the few times they met. But I just feel like my world is crashing down around me and all I'm gonna get from anyone else is negativity.
🌹Shantell🌹·
In the end, its your life... your own path. As long as you know you can make it work with this person then the opinions of others dont matter. I would honestly just focus on HEAVY preparing and planning for this new baby to be able to make it work on my own if I needed to, just in case you end up having to rely on yourself and this guy backs out. I would start looking for ways to save money and get my ducks in a row when it comes to using all the help I can get and I would definetly go back to work and save every penny i could so this baby has everything he or she will need without an issue. I would worry more about being able to provide for this baby without help from family and stressing out then I would about all of the extra things like meeting his family, in time you will end up meeting them no matter what. You dont need to tell the rest of your family until you feel comfortable.. its still very early. Just try to relax, plan ans get prepared for whatever presents itself. You will be okay. @maxx