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@kmharr3, i wouldn't stay for the reason of it's easier than starting over. But I have seen a lot of older couples staying together through cheating. Some have rebuilt great relationships and others haven't. 🤷🏾♀️
My step mom and dad have been married for 17 years, he has cheated on her more than once, they have done counseling multiple times. She said its easier staying with him than trying to start over on her own even though she is hurting. She loves him but in my opinon i dont think she loves herself. I wouldnt be able to handle it.
If it were me id end it. The sooner you end it the sooner you can meet your forever person and start being treated right and have the trust in the relationship that you deserve
@kmharr3, that's what I'm thinking. Some ppl say those trust issues go away after awhile but that's exactly how I feel right now. It just sucks when it's someone u love or thought u were gonna be with forever 🤦🏽♀️ I feel like Rasheeda
It takes time to heal and for the trust to be gained back. Personally i wouldnt be able to stay in a relationship with someone who cheated on me. I would constantly be torturing myself with "what if it happens again" and "is it me, what if i do or don't do _____, would it happen again?" I might be able to forgive but i would never forget. Counseling may help but only if both parties put in 110%
@momofdeuce, I want us to do counseling. I would love to do it at my church but I'm in the process of finding a new church home. Initially I thought I still wanted to be with him but if I'm gonna be like not able to trust him and forgive him I know it's not gonna work. And right now I still don't trust him so
Oh in that case he was just being dumb . But also he could just be unaware. My husband was clueless to my recovery process after I had my son. We argued so much I just knee divorce was coming . But he talked to some people those who had kids of their own and they were able to explain it better and in a way that he would understand. Guys also mature later then women . He probably still in the mindset of have his cake and eat it to . I would suggest counseling or just talking to a trusted married couple who can give you guys some advice. .... Thats if you're open to working on it and building that trust again . Its okay of you don't trust him you have every right to .but you said you love him and I believe you still want to be with him so I hope y'all can work it out.
@momofdeuce, it's not that I didn't want to but it's right after I had my baby and u know ur supposed to wait like 6 weeks so 🤷🏾♀️
Sex is a big thing for men ! We take it lightly but they dont . THE SAYING WHAT WOMAN WONT DO ANOTHER ONE WILL wasn't made of thin air. Not that that gives him the reason to go out and cheat but THATS HIS REASON . Being married we give up being selfish with our goods . ones you say I do you're now one . & being one means that poon Nannie is he's and vice versa. I often have to bite the bullet because I dont have a high sex drive I could go months without sex but my husband is a hound dog its only so long he'll let me get away with the I'm tired or not feeling well ( now that I'm pregnant I use that excuse too 😂😂) but yea I say all that to say Keep that man satisfied .
@qxeenbreezy_, I want to try that but with us living together and having a kid it's like hard. I kinda feel like that's an excuse but it is. Like we alternate watching her when we're working n stuff like that 😫
Most men cheat because of something they arent getting from their spouse (unless they are a habitual cheater thats another story)
If it weren't for us not speaking for months, doing our own thing, going on with our own lives, and then finally speaking about what happened and finally understanding why the infidelity occurred and what the true issue behind it was we would've never gotten back together. Because I had no plans on returning
@mcrowell0970, lmao right! I'm like watch porn. But yeah after my c-section I was like all tore up 🙅🏽 no action over here
@beautytorrey, thanks. I know I look good. I just don't feel like I look good to him lol. Well I mean he says I do but it's that type of insecurity that comes with cheating. If I got with somebody else I'm sure they'd think I looked like a doll 🙂
@kedrababy, he's supposed to make you feel like you are though. Because you are!!!!!!!
@beautytorrey, like as long as I'm with him there's always gonna be some small part of me that doesn't feel pretty enough or sexy enough or something
@qxeenbreezy_, I've considered that. Maybe taking a break and then trying over again. That seems like a good idea.
@beautytorrey, I do love him but right now I fee like I will never trust him again. And I don't feel pretty ☹️
It depends on the people, and if they're truly willing to work it through.
After a couple years of trial and error, we wound up splitting up for half a year. Now, things are better and we've grown stronger together and our bond is better than ever. Trust has also been rebuilt.
@mcrowell0970, See. That's what I'm saying like he obviously wasn't happy right? He says he's happy it's just the sex.🙄
@kedrababy, lol I think if you love him. You should give him another chance when you're ready and you feel like he's has changed.
@beautytorrey, right! I do believe he's sorry. But I just don't trust him and then I just feel like he doesn't really love me bc I mean how could u do that to somebody u love 🤔
@kedrababy, and after giving a second chance and they mess up. It's asswhoopin time fr
@kedrababy, I think over time it'll be fine though. Like if he shows you true commitment to change. But I personally think that if you could do it once you could cheat again
@beautytorrey, really? My baby daddy don't understand that I don't trust him. I mean still love him and I wanted us to be together but we have like zero trust. He wants to keep the relationship going tho. 🙄
Trust is built and earned so no not automatically but with time yes. I built my marriage on Christian foundation and I think if I ever was to get cheated on my first thought would be divorce( thinking in the flesh) But I also feel like it depends on the value of the relationship and what you want( living in the spirit) . Its a tough decision to stay or leave
@momofdeuce, in some cases u have to have a reason to get a divorce- and cheating can be one of those reasons
@kedrababy, right! I don't think I could trust that person again
I've been there and done that one too many times
@momofdeuce, but will u really REALLY ever TRULY trust that person again? 👀
@beautytorrey, @momofdeuce, I guess if it was then it wouldn't be listed as grounds for a legal reason to get it divorce
Yes . But it has to be true remorse and change of action from the person who committed and both have to be willing to work through their issues
Yes, but it depends. If you both want the same things and most importantly want each other than yes a relationship can be rebuilt. My relationship is living proof of that. Plus, the cheating mate has to want to stop their chating ways and the mate who was cheated on has to complete forgive there mate, let it go, and work on rebuilding the foundation of there relationship. There is a good book that I saw a couple taking about on the Steve Harvey show called The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. He has them for single people, before u get married couples, for children, etc. Check him out any of you ladies. You might just learn something new or think about things differently.