Anyone have advice on a MIL who is bipolar?? My SO always forgives her because that's his mom and his only family but…

My mom is the same way, we are currently living with her and she is absolutely toxic. I don't want her in my son's life as much. I'm getting a job so we can afford to move out faster. I understand where you are coming from. Probably if something escalates in the future you'd have to tell him that grandma is going through a tough time and it's not your fault, type of thing

@bluepenguin, I just hate that my son has to be a part of this. I absolutely love my SO. His mom has health issues and mental issues. Some days she likes me then other days she hates me. She makes fun of my parents and makes her son feel like shit about spending time with my family. What caused me to think about this was the other day my so was driving to work and the car broke down. My car is at a mechanic so I couldn't help. My mil had just got mad at him over something stupid. So he called his mom to ask if she could help somehow because she doesn't work and was close. Well she ignored his call after call. It was 100 degrees outside. My mom left work to help him because my mom cares about him. Then his mom texted " how did it feel not to have my help". Like wtf. What if my son was in that hot car and she just didn't care? Then she has the nerve to make him feel bad about spending time with my parents over her. She calls him telling him he's a terrible son and doesn't love her and blah blah blah when he is the one that sacrificed his childhood and school to take care of her. It just makes me so upset.

@mpeterson1517 believe me I go through the same thing. My son is living with it right now, my mom has mental and health issues, she had heart surgery, still smokes and drinks almost daily and gets so mad. She is racist and racist that my son is Mexican and my BF is from Mexico himself. She puts me down for trying to help her, I still didn't finish school because of her. I'm trying my best to move on as fast as I can because this is a very toxic environment. People like that are very toxic and I understand you don't want her hurting your son in anyway. I'm very very very sceptical about letting my mom watch my son, she has like a very few times. But I just don't trust her, the impatience she has, the will to Chainsmoke....If she doesn't want to get help or change herself then that's her choice and there is nothing you can do, because I've been trying to tell my mom there are other ways to control anger and other things etc in the most calm civil way. I'd just rely on other family or try to keep her distanced as possible. Because once I move out I'm done with her. It's too toxic

@bluepenguin, ya I get that. I never let my mil watch my son or take him anywhere. She gets upset that my family can but honestly I can't trust her. It's just really difficult. I hope things get better when you move.

@mpeterson1517 thank you, I hope things get better for you and you work things out. Because it's a difficult situation, especially with a baby. I'm afraid my mom's going to threaten me when I move out because she tries to control me big time. I'm here to talk if you need anything

My Mil isn't in my babygirls life when I was pregnanct she would be drunk and hit my fiancee in front of me and call him mean names and he didn't do anything back cause that's his mom and she would also call me a whore and say the baby isn't his and when I was in labor she called my fiancee up to tell him to get a DNA test and she also showed up drunk to my babyshower in front of all my family so I thought it was disrespectful

She's hated me since day one and I have no clue why she asks why she can't see the baby and gets mad about it 😒

@clairerae29, I'm sorry to hear that. My mil has never liked me either. I'm pretty sure it's because I took her little boy. He actually had to "run away" at the age of 20 because she would control when we could see each other like he was 12. She would take his phone he paid for so he couldn't talk to me. It was just really difficult and I got to see him maybe once every 2 weeks because he didn't say anything to her. So one day he took all his stuff and just left and she called the police and showed up to my house demanding him to come back home and saying it was illegal for him to leave. It was ridiculous. It's just a hard situation when the mil doesn't approve/like you especially when you have a child involved and especially hard when the mil has a mental illness/ physical illness.

@clairerae29, and his grandma gets supervised visits because she is really good with him but I can't trust her alone with him. She doesn't get why my parents can take him alone and she can't. I think it's pretty obvious. I'm afraid she will leave with him and pull that " you took my son so I'm taking yours". If that ever happened I think I would die.

That's how my mil is she trys to control everything with her son it's like let go already he's 23 he has a child he takes care off he's not a baby anymore so he finally moved out and moved in with me and things are 10 times better

I told my fiancee if she's ever going to meet her we have to be there and supervise it cause I don't trust her either I don't know if she's going to get drunk and she also smokes pot in the house

@clairerae29, ya his biological dad will never meet our son because of alcohol and drugs. My fiancé says that if he couldn't be around for him as a kid he doesn't deserve to see his son. His mom isn't all bad but she's definitely done some bad things to me and especially her son. In my opinion I don't think she is a good mom but she's all he has so I give her supervised visits. But if she gets too bad she won't have anything which is why I'm concerned about her being in and out of his life.