I lived for 18 years with a partner who had a "temper". He always blamed me for his outbursts, claiming I "pushed his buttons". I never realized it was abuse.
He used to throw things at me, corner me, and intimidate me. He never punched or hit, but he did grab and push. These actions are NOT normal!
No it's not at all. My husband and I have gotten into some heated arguments and he always feels awful afterwards. The worst he's ever done is grab my throat while holding our son. It's just so unlike him though, I know all the stresses he has but I don't think that excuses anything. It has taken a lot for me to forgive that one. All the other times I probably pushed him first but he knows if he comes up on me and gets right in my face like he is going to do something, I'm going to snap and hit him to get him out of my face and it's like he does that on purpose. But when our stress isn't high we never fight. Hes such a good person, he'd give anyone the shirt off his back and help anyone in need but it's like he's a different person when hes mad. Sometimes I think he is more considerate to others than to his own wife too.
I used to beg my ex to treat me like others because I always got the worst from him. It was like I was his emotional punching bag. He would tell me that everyone else got the superficial version of him, but he could be himself around me. This explanation made me feel special and privileged for a long time, but after a while I just felt lonely and used.