Alright I would appreciate some input on a matter ladies.
Issue: I don't want anyone at the hospital when I'm laboring nor when I'm done giving birth. I want my oldest at my house around her things as she gets EXTREMELY nervous, agitated, emotional when I'm sick. So for her emotional/mental health it's best if she stays home; which her therapist has agreed. When I've been discharged I don't want any family around other than my husband and daughter until I'm ready for that and I've docs "a-okay." This includes my side.
Husband wants family at the hospital, during all that's described above, wants our daughter at someone else's house where she's told him she's not comfortable, and then wants family, particularly his, at our house after mere moments of arriving home.
@saniyyahhasan, lol good to know I'm not alone lol
They need to level out already 😂
@saniyyahhasan, I feel like an angry little troll has taken over my body! I was fine before week 30, now it's either angry troll or getting choked up at the smallest things! There's no middle ground, I don't remember my hormones going so crazy, ever! Not even with puberty lol
@ctrldinsanity my hubby say the same thing. He say he walks in egg shells n I pushes people away even I get pregnant bc I can get so hormonal. My sister n brother say the devil literally comes out every time to get pregnant smh by the 5th month I stabilize n be normal
@saniyyahhasan, lol those hormones .... catch me of my guard every time
I'm here any time lol 😂
@ctrldinsanity your so welcome. I have hormonal issues too lol we all do lol. I'm sure I'll need to talk to you one day lol with something
@saniyyahhasan, thank you for talking this out with me....sometimes I feel like my hormones are making me crazy! Lashing out isn't like me, and I appreciate your input and appreciate you sharing your experiences.
@ctrldinsanity I don't think so. You know your body n know what you want. I think your the one having the baby n it should be your call. Everyone else should understand n back off
@saniyyahhasan, see...now I take moms like yourself who've had multiples and I feel that what you all have to say holds very true. Someone who has only had one doesn't have the same take. Not that their experience isn't something to not consider....Why would I listen to someone who doesn't recall the stress of birth or never experienced it (men). As opposed to someone who had multiple experiences...and the way I feel on the matter.
Am I being unreasonable? Or bitchy or whatever?
@saniyyahhasan, I want my husband there as his support through other things thatve happened ...there just isn't words to put how it felt.
But with some things that happened while he was deployed, he has even stated he couldn't be there for a c section. I understand. We both have experienced things while deployed and he doesn't handle it like me. And I respect him for saying he couldn't do the c section. Instead we came up with a plan of action for him to do if it happens.
But this matter of people there...I'm adamant about. I don't believe he gets a say in that matter.
@ctrldinsanity my mom with my first made me curse her out she was too much n my face n my aunt n sister was trying to make her back off n my bf at the time was out getting medical help n the staff was there just too much smh my second child my mom was there but just sat back then daughter n sister came again way too much. Third was more intimate with just hubby n I loved it.
@ctrldinsanity that's a start in the right direction. I decided I don't want anyone but my hubby in any case. He was better than I thought I think he being there was a great support.
@arivera64, that was my immediate response when he said what he said.
Then I calmed down and now giving it more thought and why I asked for input as im thinking I'm looking at the problem too closely so some outside input could benefit.
@saniyyahhasan, I've pre-registered as I'm known for preterm labor. In my birth plan I put only my husband as being in the labor/delivery room and in the event of a c section-only me.
He doesn't do well with things of that magnitude. Which I understand. The hospital where I plan to give birth doesn't allow anymore than 2 people.
@saniyyahhasan, having no peace with all the people there is what my two friends who gave not long ago have said as well. They say the same thing that less is better.
And with my co workers wife who gave birth to their 3rd said she loved having the quiet to focus on her labor as she was at it for over 13 hours.
@ctrldinsanity tell hubby that you need to focus on your contractions n birth n rather not have any disturbance. You might can ask the nurses on staff for no visitors b4 hands. Put it in your birth plan n give it to them b4 hand when you pre register. Most hospitals go with the mother's wishes reguardless what dad say. It's all about her wishes so you can stay calm
My last two I had few visitors as possible. My first child everybody n my mom was there I didn't like that experience at all. The hospital had the c section staff in my room the other staff n my family made me very irritated. I had more peace to focus with less people in the room. I just had my hubby, my son n sister( which she left with my son like 20 minutes b4 I delivered) but I just had my hubby n the staff with my last child. I had no visitors other than hubby n my step kids just for a quick minutes. I wanted to really bind with my newborn with peace. This time I don't want anyone either just Me my baby n hubby.
More Info:
With my daughters birth nobody was around until 4 1/2 months after she was born. I hold no grudge for this as neither family lived near us.
I didn't want anyone around then too. My husband was deployed at the time.
I've told my family that I don't want anyone around until after 6 weeks. If I change my mind I'd let them know and they can let me know when theyd be able to come visit. My mom put up a little fight but in the end states she understands. My sister said she's coming regardless but she's just joking, she wouldn't.
I've told his family the same thing. They're guilt tripping my husband using his sister as a comparison to me. She wants everyone around, has to have someone helping her at all times. I've explained to his family that I'm not her. I'm independent and as I've said if I change my mind then I'd let them know, but for now, respect my decision.
My husband says I'm excluding his family...
If I am, I'm not seeing it. So if you ladies can point it out to me, please do. He says he doesn't respect my decision- which I'm sure you can imagine how upset this made me.
There's things I don't agree with my husband on, but I do as asked or go along with his decision as he's my husband and I'm trusting his judgement.
So why? Doesn't the same apply in this matter? I've been signing us up for classes so that he has a neutral party to ask questions to and get info.
Lol