When you know it's mental and emotional abuse but can't find it in you to leave

I'm a survivor of physical abuse. I been abuse for 3 long years n I'll tell you it never get better. He literally had my life in his hand so many times while I was pregnant with his child. I had to literally fight him back to get out of the relationship. I put an order of protection on him n never looked back. It caused me to go into a deep depression afterwards. I was again a single mom n wasn't my fault again. By the Grace of God I started changing my bad habits (smoking n drinking) for my kids sake. It took me a year to get myself together n I found my wonderful hubby about another year later. So there is light at the end of the tunnel

Ive been in your shoes. I didnt have a baby with him but it helped having a family member know. It was always nice to have a person patiently listen to you vent until you finally leave on your own. In the mean time I tried everything to make it better. I even changed the way I responded and tried to make him happy every second of the day. In the end he continued hurting me and I wasnt happy anyways. He wasnt happy either so thats why i figured he was abusing me. It only got worse with us. He cheated on me a few times. I started sneaking clothes out little by little. Some of my things out of the house. I removed myself from joint bank acct. Small things that seperated me from him. Made things easier in the end when I left. You know what pushed me to it? Not all the abuse, not all the cheating..

-the fact that I KNEW he wouldn't be a good father figure. Also:

-My dad has always verbally and emotionally abused my mom. Shes still with him. She still silently cries. Shes happiest away from him. They've been together for almost 40 yrs.

@smilingwithmyawesome4kids, runs a domestic violence group. Maybe join and talk to those moms. Hope things get better