Yesterday was a good day until I went to my aunt and uncle's house for a cookout. While at the cookout a older gentleman came up to me and spoke to me. He told me that he is my birth father. I'm at a loss of words. I'm still in shock over it. I know the man that raised me and took care of me is my dad but the fact that this man came to me and told me that he is my actual dad, it is still registering in my head. I have talked with him over the phone. He asked me if I want to do a DNA test and I said yes. I look just like him. I'm still heartbroken about it because he missed out on 25 years of my life. I can't even talk to my mom about it because I know she will lie. That's how upset I am about it.
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Why would they wait so long to invite him n him to tell u
@manismommy1207 yes i agree..my mom's parent's died when she was 11 yrs old with in 3 month's of each other she isn't motherly or grandmotherly but is a good person because.. She never dealt w that tragedy she didn't allow herself to heal..All I'm saying is we all faults.I say be open to your biological father's words and take it day by day.I feel personally i missed out on having a real mom but.it made me a great mom.i am close with all my 3 son's ❤.I wish you well honey
@sherrynygirl, I've been thinking about everything he said and everything that has been going on and I'm just like I may have another family that will actually care about me and love me like family supposed to.
@manismommy1207 .My oldest son was raised by a man that wasn't his dad but..he was there when i met him since he was 5yrs old...a few times his biological dad called thru out his life.This son now is 21 yrs old and knows who was there! I did have both my parent's growing up but.my 2 sister's and i were all closer to our dad over our mom.I think as women we get to a point in out life.we don't want drama.or once we have kid's we analyze our lives.I think its great Your biological dad wants to talk w you.life is too short Not to here his side.I was a teen mom at 16. i grew up fast his dad was in his life the 1st 3 yrs ...To me there's no such thing as a part time. Parent...but.i would hear his side out
@phase, that's the thing. My aunt and uncle had been trying to set it up for a minute
Oh and at some point you are going to have to talk to your mom about it. It won't be a secret between you and your father forever. Especially if you met him at a family BBQ. Take some time and talk to her about it when you're ready and hopefully she's been preparing for this day.
@manismommy1207, someone knew he would be at the cookout. I feel you should have been given a heads up. I met by dad when I was 18 (reunited rather after having met him 3 times as a child with blurry memories). Just like you I wasn't mad that he wasn't there. I just wanted him to be active in my life at that age. Every situation is different but as a new mom I could never abandon my child. But I also don't judge
@kimberlyyyy_the-preemie-mom, its ok. I'm also in the same boat with my son. He's only 4 months and his dad just decided to leave. I still love my dad. He raised me and was there for me. I'm not mad that my birth father wasn't there. I'm upset that I'm just meeting him now. I can't even talk to my mom right now because I'm afraid that I will go off or that I will cry. I've been through enough this past year that I just can't deal with anything else right now.
I'm going to live vicariously through you for a minute, because I worry about this kind of situation happening in the future with my first son. My husband has been in my life since my first son was 3 months old and has lived with us since my son was 8 months old. My husband is all my son knows as dad. I dread the day he finds out my husband is not his biological father. Now, my thought was always this: the person who raises you is your parent. Blood doesn't mean anything if they're not with you through the good and bad. I'm seriously hoping my first son knows how much my husband loves him and always will.
It takes a special person to raise a child as their own, and from what I'm getting from your post it sounds like you had a good man who took good care of you.
How do you feel about your step dad and the situation? I worry so much that my son will hate my husband and me for not knowing the truth and I don't want that.
Sorry to turn that into me and my story. I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm sure it's a hard thing to go through emotionally. Maybe you can write down your feelings and write down questions for your mom as well as this guy who has missed out on so much of your life.
I'm the end, I'm sure your mom has her reasons for why she kept this a secret. I hope you'll get the closure you need.
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@bonbonmomma, from what I was told, he has been wanted to meet me and tell me but my mom had said that my dad was my dad and he didn't want to cause any problems so yea. I'm like um ok.