These have to be the toughest days of my life. It's so hard not to blame myself for my daughter's condition. I…

These have to be the toughest days of my life. It's so hard not to blame myself for my daughter's condition. I understand things could be much worst, but I feel so helpless. It's so hard to be happy and enjoy the birth of my daughter right now. Haven't even had skin to skin bond with her. Haven't even changed one of her diapers. Scared to even touch her right now. It's so heartbreaking to see her hooked up to wires, and constantly looking at her machine making sure her levels are alright and normal. This is so not easy, it's so difficult for me. I don't have any my babies by me. I just can't wait until this nightmare is over. I can't wait until I can actually give my daughter a bath, dress her up, change her diaper, feed her, have her sleep in her crib, and be home with us and her handsome brother. I'm trying so hard to be strong. All I've been doing is wanting to breakdown crying, all I've been doing is just blaming myself non stop. This is so hard not being able to have her next to me. I just want her to be 100 % better, and picture perfect. I never expected any of this to happen. Didn't ever think that my baby girl would be going through any of this when she was born. I guess, just things happen. No matter what, there is always a reason, even if you can't find out the reason. But I'm learning to have faith right now. I'm learning to not give up. I'm learning that I need to trust and believe. I'm learning that it's okay to sometimes just cry and not always put on a brave face. I love my children so much, they truly are blessings in my life. And I would never do anything to put their lives in danger, and I would take a bullet for them in a heartbeat. Just feel so helpless. Just right now is a waiting game. Just feels like it's been forever already. But my daughter is so strong and just such a little miracle. And hopefully she will be fully healthy and this all will be over eventually. But until then, I will still be by her side, holding her little hand, talking to her, and watching over her. I know her grandmother is keeping a watchful eye on her also. It has been such a huge help and relief to everyone that has been so loving, caring, and supportive during this time. It truly means so much, nothing can express how thankful I am. And I know my little cupcake can feel everyone's love, faith, and support also. Just she's the boss now, and we are just along for the ride. But so far, she is proving that she is a fighter and such a miracle already. Mommy and everyone else loves you so much princess, keep going strong and keep making us proud baby girl 😢💪💝🙌🏩 #prayersforkimberly