I need some advice. Disclaimer: my husband and I have a very solid relationship and are deeply in love, but of course no relationship is 100% perfect all the time. Lately I have...

Ciaran Hamilton

I need some advice. Disclaimer: my husband and I have a very solid relationship and are deeply in love, but of course no relationship is 100% perfect all the time. Lately I have been feeling a little down and insecure. Our anniversary is coming up on the 22nd and I don't think he has anything planned. He's not the type to make plans or surprise me or do the small gestures that i really like that make me feel appreciated. I understand that he just isn't the best with remembering dates or understanding how important things are to me. If I could get him to understand how much it meant to me I know he'd do it in a heartbeat. But he just doesn't get it. I accept him and love him the way he is no matter what. But how can I talk to him about this? If our anniversary passes and we don't do anything special I will be heartbroken. Even something simple like having picnic together or stargazing, it doesn't have to be something expensive.

15.05.2017

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@ciciham well, I personally wouldn't make a big deal out of celebrating a day. Maybe you can start having a girls night out on those days that are important to you and leave him on daddy duty all day. Don't set yourself up for heartbreak and stressvover something you can't change. He's not the type and I'm sure you aren't just finding that out. I know it'll be ideal and special to have that time with your husband, but sometimes you have to do what makes you happy too.

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ciciham

@chocolate_drop, but he doesn't really appreciate the effort I put into planning special things for him. He just kinda tags along or says he's not in the mood to do anything

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mfmf

@roche.mommy6435 as long as it makes him feel special, they don't really care how big or small it is. My dad was excited about the Chevy shirt I got him a few years back.

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2prince1princess

@chocolate_drop thats awesome! I wish i could do more for him but right now things are tight but i know he appreciates what i do for him. He got overly happy when i got him a new chevy shirt haha.

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mfmf

@ciciham maybe you'll just have to accept the fact that it's just not his thing. I'm sure there's something he's into that you aren't. At least he still participants when you plan things. He may not plan special things in return, but there are other things he does I'm sure.

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mfmf

@roche.mommy6435 agree 100%. Sometimes we forget what our men do to make sure we're good as a family. I'll plan as much as I have to because my husband makes it possible for me to be a stay at home mom. His b-day is the week after next and I planned a 4-day vacation for us just to celebrate him.

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ciciham

@roche.mommy6435, @cassienka, @chocolate_drop, @mari_c, thanks ladies, but I always plan everything and if I don't then the day just comes and goes and is treated like any other day. I always plan surprises for special days and stress how much the day means to me, but he does not do it in return. I just wish he understood how much those gestures would mean to me

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2prince1princess

My anniversary is the 23rd. Which sucks cause its a tuesday but i know my husband doesnt know how to plan ANYTHING lol. I accept it. I have ours planned out. I told him basics of what we are doing but not telling him where we are going for dinner and im going to let him pick the movie we see. I take it as he does so much for me and my family. Im able to be a stay at home mom while he works. It is my day to spoil him. He doesnt complain when we dont have money or cant go out. Theres nothing wrong with planning your own stuff.

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mfmf

@cassienka I agree. A lot of times we're expecting the men to make us feel special, but they want to feel special and appreciated also.

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cassienka

@jessclee Amen and spot on lol. And all of you are so correct! They don't know what we don't tell them. So yeah either plan the night yourselfand surprise him (which may be a really sweet surprise for him and make him feel special too) or just tell him youd like to make plans with him for just you two. :-)

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soul96

Maybe try surprising him with something so that way he's surprisped and maybe steps up and try's to do the same.

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mfmf

@ciciham why don't you just make plans. If you know he's not the type to plan or do small gestures, why beat yourself up about it? Why plan to be heartbroken? It's both of you guys' anniversary. Maybe if you plan something he'll see how important it is to you. Words doesn't work for all men. Some of them have to be shown in order for them to understand. When you talk to him about the importance of the date, don't beat around the bush, just be straight out and break it down to him.

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boymamax2

I don't know if it's because I've been with mine for 8 years, but when a certain day is coming up I remind him of the specific day and make sure he's aware WE BETTER have plans. lmfao

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chibiytino

Tell him straight up..for me it's the opposite lol I don't remember dates but my SO does and he is the one who reminds me and I just plan everything else

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