Had a talk with family at a gathering and had members state they were going to be in the labor/delivery room. Um, I didn't authorize anyone but my husband. My eldest will be with a family friend at my house so my husband can come get her the day we come are released. Well I let family know this and oh boy! The backlash I received! Anyone else dealing/dealt with this?
Why does everyone else think they can make decisions about my body my baby? And I certainly don't ask for their advice. I don't need it or want it. If down the road I have questions yes, I'll ask, but c'mon now...
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@3girlzn2boyz I believe this is how mine does it too, but I'm not 100% sure. They still only allow 2 people when baby is inbound! 😁
Also, I love the Ovia app! (your profile picture) Has great info!
@ctrldinsanity I get that. My husband's mom had a terrible experience her first birth that her next two (my husband was one of them) were born at home with a midwife.
If this is how you plan to do it, or not, great! I'd never tell someone that they don't know what they're doing or doing it wrong! It's just different! And she does this with everyone and everything. Drives me crazy!
@noahs.mommy That's awesome that they allow more people. I don't think I can handle more than my husband and best friend. My mom would be too worried, my MIL would be too worried but also try to overtake my friend... just no... there's going to be too much going on already for me to put up with more people!
@3girlzn2boyz that is GENIUS i wish my hospital did that.
My hospital gives u bracelet and u can only give it to the people who you want in your delivery room and if they don't have one there not allowed in at all
@noahs.mommy, oh I can only hope that no one comes! Lol
I'm glad you had someone there that was supportive.
@noahs.mommy, oh wow!
It's like don't they remember when they were giving birth or right before how they were feeling? Cause I'm sure there were family members doing the same nonsense...
Why repeat it?
Why be so disrespectful?!
That's what has me so...idk feeling everything negative. That they're being disrespectful. That anyone would do this crap.
I was allowed 4 extra people which i liked because i decided at the last minute to let my 2nd aunt stay. She was actually the only helpful one in the room and i needed her there. I didn't get an hour of alone time but no one visited me anyway 😐 @mermaidmeshy
@mermaidmeshy, she had you twisted lol
What a ... (fill in the blank)
What sick person tells a mom that she'll be a failure no matter the topic?! I'm sorry you had that to deal with.
See, I am not big into going to docs unless I'm "dying." There has to be something seriously wrong. But I'd NEVER tell someone else to follow my choices. That's so wrong.
The people I'm dealing with are saying similar things. But they're saying them to my hubs along with, "why is she being ridiculous, why is she keeping me from my grandkids, why doesn't she like me."
I'm over here with no clue how to respond to that....my emotions are just anger and irritation. And I don't want to say something cause I know I'll say something really mean.
@noahs.mommy oh man, if people tried to do that to me.... arms would be lost.
Thank goodness my hospital only allows 2 other people in the room. They allow visitation after, but we'll have an hour of bonding time before everyone will bombard me.
My grandma tried to be subtle about it. At one point she said "I'm gonna get pictures RIGHT after hes born" like i didn't say you could be in the room? And then when the day came she got all upset about it and started crying. I had my fiance, my mom, and 2 of my aunts with me. She stayed in there minutes before i had to push and i was in a lot of pain, i had gotten a really high fever so i was hot. And she wouldn't stop touching me and i was in to much pain to tell her to get tf off of me and get tf out. It was so irritating that my wishes couldn't be respected @ctrldinsanity
@ctrldinsanity As to the in-laws SO... (his dad's girlfriend)
I work in the medical field (veterinary technician... animals, but a lot of the info works for people too)
She's very anti-doctors and all about herbal bullshit. Yes, some things help with actual meds, but not all, and yeah if I have a UTI I'm going to my doc.... she tried to tell me to not go and only drink some crazy concoction.
She also had to butt in when I said I'd be breast feeding. But if it doesn't work out in the long run (happened to a friend) I'm not going to beat myself up if pumping/formula if that is the way it goes. (Basically I'll do my best!)
Well, she tried to tell me that I would be a failure as a mom if it didn't work out. (Even with pumping.)
She's not allowed to voice opinions to me anymore. And we don't visit them anymore. If his dad wants to visit, cool, she's not allowed until she calms herself with her shitty opinions.
@mermaidmeshy, lol I can just imagine what that SO said to irk you lol
I'm getting to the point I've no patience for the people doing/saying these things.
I keep thinking "it's family, they mean well, you can just ignore it," but OMG! I think me biting my tongue caused the twitch in my eye lmao.
@ctrldinsanity most of my family is either understanding or knows I won't put up with shit.
I hit 25 weeks and the mama bear/take no shit person exploded. I had to tell off an in-law's SO for trying to tell me what to do. I'll be polite to a point, but when someone tries to butt in and say I'm doing it wrong, they can just F#%^ right off.
I used to be mostly polite, nod head and say "ok, I'll take that into consideration". But now, if someone tries that shit, I say, "yeah, not doing that." I have no clue what made that snap change, but it was the best thing to come out of this pregnancy (so far!)
@mermaidmeshy, that's news to me!
I'd be concerned that since I already said no one but hubs that if I say the hospital they'll still be ridiculous.
Guess I'll just avoid the subject and hope they forget lol and just not tell anyone until after lil nuggets first shots lol or I'm done being in diapers lol
My hospital wouldn't tell people to leave, but I didn't tell people until after I had my daughter
My hospital only allows 2 other people besides myself (obviously!😉)
So my husband and best friend will be there. My friend is very bossy, so having her there knowing what I want is helpful. My husband will be there for the emotional support, and cuz, well, he's dad, and needs to see his daughter!
I got lucky in that my mom was super understanding. She knows she'd be too worried about me being in pain, to keep me focused and everyone calm.
My hospital will tell people for you that people need to leave. (Learned that from a class) if you're having a hard time and need someone else to blame, use them. Seriously. Tell them only one person is allowed; hospital rule... even if it's not. Then use the nurses on the day of to keep folks out. They will tell family for you that you need to rest, and they have to come by later.
@eryka616, how'd you let them know?
My husband's getting guilt calls/texts...and "don't tell her but that's what's happening" messages.
I'm considering not telling anyone when lil one decides to come and then announce it 3-4 weeks later lol
My baby dads family tried to say they'd be in the room and I just kinda said no they were upset but once she was born they got over it
@mermaidmeshy, see, to each their own.
Thank you! I'd never say such things either. That's wrong. How someone plans to birth or parent is up to them and right for them. There's no putting in your two cents.
I've a midwife but will deliver in a hospital. I went into preterm labor with my eldest, and had some complications so just to ease my mind and still have a "holistic " if you will, birth I chose a hospital.
The things you ladies have commented about what your hospitals do I need to write down to ask when I do this tour soon....