Just wanna vent. Up until recently, I've been pretty unapologetic with my parenting choices. But…

Just wanna vent.

Up until recently, I've been pretty unapologetic with my parenting choices. But right now, I feel like the worst mom in the world. It feels like Isabelle is unhappy more and more often. I know she's going through a leap, but it just makes me feel horrible.

She's currently in her bed, crying it out so she can take her evening nap. Which makes me feel HORRIBLE. I feel like there has to be a better method than this, but everything else we've tried just doesn't work. I feel helpless.

Lately I've been questioning every parenting decision I make. Why didn't I give her a bath last night? Why didn't we decide to cloth diaper? Why didnt I try to breastfeed longer? Why don't I hold her for naps instead? Why don't I take her outside more? Why does it seem like she cries more than she smiles? Just every single thing I do, I second guess myself. It's gotten to the point where if someone does something with her that I dislike, I don't say anything in fear that their method may actually be better. I don't give anyone parenting advice just for fear of having someone tell me how wrong I probably am.

Should I really be holding her for her naps instead of leaving her in her crib to soothe herself? Do I leave the T.V. on too often?

She's almost a year old, and sometimes it feels like I still don't have anything figured out. Sometimes I legitimately feel like she hates me. She doesn't really show me much affection at all, but she does her grandparents and great grandparents. Am I not a good mom? I just feel so defeated. There was a lady on FB that said letting little ones "cry it out" can short-circuit them. At first I thought it was total sanctimommy bullshit, but what if it's true?

I just feel so...just...sad, I guess. I'm so down on myself. I try so hard to make sure Isabelle is as happy as can be, but I'm wondering if I'm really cut out for this or if I'm just gonna screw her up and be just as bad as my own mother.