I just want his arms wrapped around me one last time and hear words come out of his mouth that arent true "I love you".. I miss him so bad. My first love! My first relationship! He was many of my first and I know today isnt even the hardest day yet.. I literally hate that I love him so much.

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,

his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...

Been induced since 7. Got an epidural an hour ago. I feel pretty good. My dad, sister, and fiance are here. Waiting for MIL to come after work. Talked to my mom and step dad on video chat. My step baby and his mother will be up after I have the baby and will take a family photo. Excuse the messy hair, i slept with it wet. I'm hungry and tired and bored. I'm excited for my LO.

So not in the Christmas spirit this year 😕 I mean I'm happy I have my unborn & my big boy but it's just not the same without my little fatty, it would've been his first Christmas 😢

I know my man gotta hustle and make that Mula but I'm so tired of bae working over time I hate being lonely all day and I miss him so much grr ugh 😢😣