SUPER LONG RANT

This keeps me up every single night and it will be a long story but I have to let it out somewhere and here seems to be a safe place to. So me and my sons bio father were married but separated when I had him last April. He was abusive to me in every way throughout my whole pregnancy and throughout our marriage. I had a fairy tale in my head and we all know those never work. So once my son was born I gave him one more shot at being the father and husband he always promised to be... well that didn't happen of course so 4 months went by and I had all I could take and he left. We stayed civil and were going to work out visitation without court being involved well that lasted 3 whole days and then the first visit happened and he attacked me in front of our son and threw him at me in his car seat. So I filed an order of protection at the end of August. Our divorce court date was October 27th. Now keep in mind that just because I filed for an order of protection does not mean that he was served. I had changed my number 2 times within the next two months and he had not made one single effort in all the harassing phone calls and texts to try and see Cayson (our son). So October 27th came around and he showed up for court and showed his ass saying that I was withholding the child and I ignored him... the order of protection was served to him when he walked into the court house -_-. They apparently didn't take it as seriously as I did. Now the judge pushed our court date to December 5th and gave him supervised visits by his sister every Saturday for 2 hours. He showed up to 2. He didn't show up to court on our court date. In the parenting plan he is allowed supervised visits at a visitation center whenever he wants. He can get unsupervised visits by completing classes that are required. He has not done neither of the two options. I am to the point that I just want to be done with him and his nonsense. Now in Tennessee a parents rights can be revoked for 4 months of abandonment which is no contact or financial support. However a judge will not grant that because they don't believe a child should only have one parent... they obviously don't see I'm already doing it on my own. He also owes me child support and money for the three credit cards he opened and maxed out in my name while we were married. But money is really the least of my worries. I don't need his money. This is the part that keeps me up is the fact that he can just decide when he wants to be in Caysons life whenever it is convenient for him. Cayson is now a year old and has no idea who this man is and if he decides tomorrow or years from now to see him then it will provide a lot of confusion for Cayson. I'm not okay with that. Cayson is very well provided for and has plenty of male influences that are good ones. He needs not wants for anything. But me, the working single mom has to show up to every child support court date, for him not to even bother showing up or "the court can't find him to get in contact". Why do I have to waste my time? It also worries the crap out of me that if anything was to ever happen to me then Cayson would be given to his bio father who has never provided one single drop of care for him since birth. Never even bought the first bag of diapers. Now I'm not one of the mothers that is keeping her son away from the father in the least bit but, I feel like I have provided him with every single opportunity and chance I can to be in this child's life and he has just thrown them away and I'm done with it. I want to be able to enjoy Caysons life and not have to worry constantly that his POS bio father is just going to randomly show up in his life and confuse or upset him. If he would have shown initiative or heck even the slightest interest then I don't think I would feel this way but he hasn't. His side of the family who all can still contact me doesn't even ask about Cayson. I'm just so over the worrying!!!! If you are still reading thank you so much and if you have any suggestions I am completely open to them.