When I can't see Caroline I don't feel like she exists... Is that uncommon? Can anyone relate?

I will be 41 :/
Short Luteal Phase?
I've just started temping because I believe that the reason I haven't had a BFP yet, after 20 months, is because I believe I may have a Luteal Phase Defect.
Things I never thought I'd say...
Until I became a mom:
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...
Omg... You just made my day! I've felt like this since she was born and have felt like a psychopath! I love her to death, I'm so attached and she's attached to me but if she's not with me then I don't feel anything. I'm not worried about her or scared for her. Maybe I'm just too laid back to worry.. I'm so glad you commented tho. @lovelily