You know I don't feel like posting this anywhere else, but today I renewed my drivers license. I was…

You know I don't feel like posting this anywhere else, but today I renewed my drivers license. I was ok with that until I saw the picture that was taken. I was so mortified I just left. I have never been one to have a lot of self esteem, but this just crushed what little I do have. I have hit an all time low ladies. Physically I don't fee like much of a woman. I'm not the least big sexy or have anything that looks appealing and that includes my face and everything else. My husband tries to tell me not to think that way but I just can't stop myself. I avoid looking in the mirror and I take pictures at a certain angle to hide all of the fat on my face. I use filters from snapchat because looking at my face without them makes me miserable. I have been trying to change my body but it does get discouraging to see where I have gotten to. I put on weight having two more babies and when I met my husband I had only gotten to 135 after having my older two. Thats the smallest I've been since 2008. Pre-kids I was 115 and in deceng shape. Now I'm 175 and I feel like I look like the michelin man or marshmellow man from the original ghostbusters. Sorry for the pity party, I just need to get this out or I'll bottle it up forever and eventually break down.