Mommies, I decided to be celibate until marriage on the 4th of April. It's always been on my mind since the "big day" but didn't do it cause I was 18 and needed the attention. Anyway, I got tired of feeling like I was losing a bit of myself every single time ( this year was the loudest I heard myself pleading for me to stop). Lots of books and meditation and prayer later, I did it. Needless to say every day I'm stronger, and I'm regaining my self respect. I'm not religious but I do believe in God's plan for each of us ( regardless of who you think God is). " what helped me stop is thinking that God had a great plan for my life, but because I showed no discipline in that area He gave me the silver plan. If someone can have discipline in this area regardless of the reason, he/she can have it in any area in life"- Davon Franklin " The Wait".
That sentence in the book shook me to the core. I have big dreams that I'm working towards one goal at a time. Due to my high drive I found myself focusing about the physical needs of my body as opposed to the mental and emotional needs I've been needing to address.
This is not an invitation to join me. We all make our choices based on where we are, but if you've experienced this self shame, doubt due to the lack of discipline with someone who would NOT commit to me officially, there's always another answer. It's hard believe meeeeee! I mea really hard but nothing is worth that peace of mind.
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Birth Plan Rant
I used to be all about getting an epidural, but after research and thinking about it more I want to have an unmedicated birth (this is my first baby). What annoys me is when I say that I'm going to TRY my hardest to have a natural and unmedicated birth people always feel the need to say that I'm crazy or that I'm going to change my mind when I get in that position. Or that epidurals are the best. I do realize that plans change, but why can't people be supportive and encouraging?
Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend went to watch a movie, me and him don't live together yet. but point is yesterday when he was dropping me off his like sleep over at my house witch the mom and dad lives. I said no,
his response was why is everyone deciding or making choices for you and their going to do the same with the baby, when I know that's not true. what he thinks is that my mom tells me not to sleep over. So he left all mad. and I felt in my heart that he went on and cheated on me...
I kind of suffered from postpartum depression after I had my first due to me being self conscious about my weight and not accepting my appearance. I made a promise to myself this time no matter what I'm going to eat better and exercise.
Will I actually need noolas red book for my booking in?🙈🙈
In need of a huge rant 🙄 I'm so fed up of people especially my ex's mom..she's basically said I got myself into this situation..I'm pretty sure I didn't get myself pregnant 😂😂😂😂