I have something puzzling me please I need advice

I just got into this huge argument about the kids my daughter particularly from a previous relationship she has autism and he can be really harsh I bring it up and he gets defensive. I also tell him he treats her differently than his daughter from a previous relationship and he says that he doesn't get to see her often; so I say that's favoritism because he doesn't get to see her that often she gets to see the loving side of daddy but seen my daughter lives with us she gets to see the "mean" daddy! That's not fair in my opinion she needs more love ❤️ because she is a bit different and it can be difficult dealing with an autism child. Am I in the wrong? trust me I will be the bigger person and apologize . I know he loves her but wish he could show it in his actions. She responds so much better with positive instead of negativity. Any autism moms out there my daughter is on the spectrum and feel she should be treated differently. 😭