Mom.life
Joly
j.vmommy
Joly·Мама сына (9 лет)
Seen this post on fb any thoughts?

MY CHILD IS NOT REQUIRED TO SHARE WITH YOURS.

As soon as we walked in the park, Carson was approached by at least 6 boys, all at once demanding that he share his transformer, Minecraft figure, and truck. He was visibly overwhelmed and clutched them to his chest as the boys reached for them. He looked at me.

"You can tell them no, Carson," I said. "Just say no. You don't have to say anything else."

Of course, as soon as he said no, the boys ran to tattle to me that he was not sharing. I said, "He doesn't have to share with you. He said no. If he wants to share, he will."

That got me some dirty looks from other parents. Here is the thing though:

If I, an adult, walked into the park eating a sandwich, am I required to share my sandwich with strangers in the park? No!

Would any well-mannered adult, a stranger, reach out to help themselves to my sandwich, and get huffy if I pulled it away? No again.

So really, while you're giving me dirty looks, presumably thinking my son and I are rude, whose manners are lacking here? The person reluctant to give his 3 toys away to 6 strangers, or the 6 strangers demanding to be given something that doesn't belong to them, even when the owner is obviously uncomfortable?

The goal is to teach our children how to function as adults. While I do know some adults who clearly never learned how to share as children, I know far more who don't know how to say no to people, or how to set boundaries, or how to practice self-care. Myself included.

In any case, Carson only brought the toys to share with my friend's little girl, who we were meeting at the park. He only didn't want to share with the greedy boys because he was excited to surprise her with them.

The next time your snowflake runs to you, upset that another child isn't sharing, please remember that we don't live in a world where it's conducive to give up everything you have to anyone just because they said so, and I'm not going to teach my kid that that's the way it works👌
22.04.2017
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momzillaof5
Lacie Marie·Мама четверых детей
I love this post. Yes i belive a child should share to a point. I dont require my son to share with strangers. Hes tought not to talk to strangers, so why would i make him share his stuff with them? But if its a child he knows and hes just being selfish thats tottally differnt.
22.04.2017 Нравится Ответить
turnturnsip
Tiffany W.·Мама двоих (9 лет, 11 лет)
I also wanted to mention that the other side of that is if my kid goes up to another and is the one asking to play with their toy then it's a good learning experience that sometimes the answer is "No" and to respect that. There is no harm is asking, just be prepared that the answer might not be the one you want 😋
22.04.2017 Нравится Ответить
turnturnsip
Tiffany W.·Мама двоих (9 лет, 11 лет)
I agree that my kids don't have to share in that situation. These kids are strangers that obviously feel entitled (tattling) rather than just seeing if it's alright and just dropping it. I always encourage my son to vocalize when a situation makes him uncomfortable. Sharing can still be taught, this doesn't negate sharing. Once he/we get familiar with another kid and are playing together I'd suggest sharing his toys. That said, my 3yr old just started being ok with handing toys he was playing with to my 1yr old. Just yesterday. Prior to this breakthrough he tried to find some other toy he wasn't currently playing with to compromise. But to each their own..
22.04.2017 Нравится Ответить
red_carr
Lauren🖤·Мама двоих (7 лет, 9 лет)
I agree with her. Now siblings should share or cousins but not strangers at a park..
22.04.2017 Нравится Ответить
2016stacys
Amber J. Stacy·Мама троих детей
Personally I agree with whoever wrote this because I'd like to instill in my child that it is okay to say NO. I do not want people thinking it's okay to force her to do anything she doesn't want to do. She should be able to share when she wants to and say no when she doesn't. It's not rude or unkind to say no it's her basic human right. She shouldn't have to leave her toys at home because she doesn't want anyone else to play with them or it's not fair that no one else has a toy. It's her belonging and not her fault another child doesn't have their own toys.
22.04.2017 Нравится Ответить
j.vmommy
Joly·Мама сына (9 лет)
I feel the same way ashleywilliams1839 and yes I would have just kept the toys at home or invited the lil girl to play with him at home n then maybe go to the park if had the time shann
22.04.2017 Нравится Ответить
shannwoww83
Shannon·Мама троих детей
Yeah I wouldn't have either they could be broke or stolen either way you go it can start arguements, after a certain age I agree but with toddlers I feel its important but as they get older I see where its important to teach them they dont have to but I may have kept them put up until the at date started as to avoid that or at least try to but this was well written.
22.04.2017 Нравится Ответить
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