I have exactly 30 days until my due date. I was laying in the tub and I glanced down at my stomach and started to cry.
I was so unsure, and so scared and so nervous. For awhile there I almost thought about not keeping her... everything was so unsure in my life, my relationship, my thoughts, my living situation, was a mess. It was so much to handle at the time. I just wanted a way out. I found myself crying and just couldn't stop for about fifteen minutes straight. I thought about everything that has happened in my life, and especially this past year, led me to where I am today. I had wanted to give up so many times, and I did give up a few times. I had so much emotional built up of pain, but today, right now, I realized more than anything, there is no greater love than a child. I just keep scanning in the back of my head the day I almost thought for a second the cheap way out, the coward way out, I didn't think I'd be a good enough mother. I didn't think my relationship would be stable enough, I didn't know where I'd be living. Everything was "I don't know" out of every I don't know I have had, what I do know is I will love her more than anyone and anything in this whole entire universe. I will hold her hand until my last breath and you damn well better know I will go to the end of this earth any time day or night for her. I just can't wait to hold her, and I can't wait to see the look on my fiancés face. I've made so many mistakes, but keeping her was in no way a mistake.