Alrighty mamas. I have a lot on my mind and was wondering if I can rant for a min and then y'all can tell my what y'all think! So my oldest son has a different father. We were together for 5 1/2 years. We split 2 years ago because he wanted to drink, and golf, and hang out with everybody else more then his family. He has never really been a "dad" to my son. I got married soon after. We fell completely head over heels for each other and my life has been so perfect with my husband and he is ABSOLUTELY the best daddy to both of my boys. Even on our toughest days. Well I put my sons father on child support, and I was letting him go with him every other weekend when we first split. Anyways I found out that he was leaving my child with his pill popping mother who left my child alone by hisself once while she was suppose to be baby sitting. And he also stopped paying his child support in September. And since then has lost his job, lost his house, lost his car, and is ok drugs and drinks all the time. He currently lives in a storage building. He has no money. He has a junk car that has no insurance or tags. He has a warrant out for his arrest. He is very disrespectful towards me and is always calling me a bitch. I do not let my child see him. He has been robbed at gun point before. Not once but TWICE. He does not help support my son. He doesn't buy him anything. Expect a present for Christmas and his birthday. He doesn't offer to give him money or anything. On Saturday I asked him he could buy my son baseball cleats since he's going to start tball and he also needs baseball pants and he said he would and that he'd call tomorrow. He never called. He called yesterday and he had the stuff but he wasn't going to give it to me untill I let him see him. I told him he could come to the house at 5:30 and no later because we weren't going to wait on him. And then I get a message that he doesn't have a ride and he has a warrant so he's not coming into town, but yet the message before that he was calling me a bitch and saying he would give me the stuff when he saw his son? Like that makes any sense. I honestly don't feel like he even had it. Then he called later that night and asked to talk to my son and my son didn't want to talk to him. So sad. And then he called again and I just said no he doesn't want to talk and then he hung up on me. Mind you he didn't call my son for over 3 weeks! I also asked him to write a letter for his insurance so he could get back on insurance and he couldn't even do that! I'm so sick of his shit and I'm so tired of him being in and out of my sons life. I personally feel like until he gets his life together I need to cut the ties. Do you ladies think I'm wrong? My son is hurting and I can't watch my baby boy go threw this bullshit anymore.
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Thanks girl! & yeah he's already being over $3000 and I always tell him to pay but then he gets says that's I'm hungry for money but yet I've been supporting his kid for 3 years! And he doesn't have a job so I know he's not gunna go and pay his child support which is pretty pathetic. He only has to pay $200 a month 🙄 @brittanycoraline,
To be honest, no one can make him sign his rights over. That's the thing that sucks about horrible parents. But you can put a restraining order against him and try to prove that he is on drugs and that you think he is a danger to your son. I'm so sorry you're going through this! My daughters dad always tries making me feel bad when I bring up child support but she is 4 years old and he has only bought her three things. I finally after four years decided to just take him for child support and not let him get to me and he still complains now saying that they are taking his entire check but I've only gotten 135$ once so far and he said they have taken 300$ twice in one month, one of the times being before we even had court lol. Full of crap. I hope everything gets better for you! Really try to push for that child support because the courts won't do much unless you push them to do something about him not paying.
Heck no you are not hurting your son. My story is almost exactly like your my son doesnt want to speak to him either, he'll call and cus me out and all that. I wouldnt even bother him for anything for my son. I told him if u want to see him be consistent snd get your life together. Take me to court. If you dont like it. He has a warrent to so i know the last thing he is going to do is go to the cops. Usually i would here from him every 3 months after that it has been almost a year now. Good riddens.
Naw he seen my worse side that day I took his kids and everything and told my mom we weren't coming back til he was gone
Omg! I would stay far far away from him! I hope he doesn't touch you or you babies! @cclark289,
Yup so now I gotta try and talk 2 him cause ik he gonna hurt me while I'm pregnant wit his nephew... wen I was pregnant wit my daughter I put him in jail cause he kicked me in my stomach after everyone found I was 6 months pregnant
Wow. It's so sad how drugies only think about themselves. @cclark289,
I agree with her. She definitely did the right thing! & I think I am too. I am his mother. I will protect him. No matter the cost! @dreamermom,
Yea he took all my mom's jewelry mines and my grandmother's and pawned tried 2 sell my mom's car she was letting him drive he just recently got outta jail promise he gonna do good but my grandmother called and told me he was back on it she found it in her house and my mom works for the government so if it's anywhere in her house she loses her job but he don't care bout that
@korahleah_11, exactly!! He is not living any kind of life to raise a child! The friend I mentioned her 'sperm donor' has kids with like 2 other women... she was the only one who refused to allow his sketchy ass to have her kid... he had his other kids at home when he was busted for cooking meth! He was literally manufacturing & selling drugs from his house... he immediately lost custody of those kids... so his only hope for reducing his sentence was to try and see my friends son! She was NOT going to allow her kid to be used like that!
Omg that's so sad :( and yeah that's what he did with his truck. 25k truck. It was paid off and he fucking threw it away for drugs. It's so sad @cclark289,
Don't let him see ur son til he gets his life 2gether we had 2 do it wit my brother he was choosing drugs over his kids and I finally just told him he couldn't see them til he wasn't high or on any type of drugs my mom was mad but she understood he was pawing they stuff 2 get the money and my oldest nephew is 12 and don't care if he sees his dad or not and it breaks my heart
My case is in Texas and which is basically the same thing as what you said! & Texas is a mother state which is way better for me! I think I'm going to try to talk to another lawyer! Thank you very much for your advice. I just want to make sure my baby is safe and I'm doing the right thing! @dreamermom,
@korahleah_11, maybe give an anonymous tip to the police, about where he is, and after his life style catches up with him he will have far less options! If he's in jail, he has little to no 'rights'... hell even just taking him to court, to terminate his rights, he will either have to show up, and be accountable for his warrant, or he will miss court, and not be able to defend himself... which will show the judge his true colors! Win win! Obviously, I don't know the laws in your state, but that's how it works where I am! I'll pray that you get some sound advice and options from a lawyer... and he messes up enough to land his butt in jail... which will give you more options
See I talked to a lawyer and she said that she can't get him to sign his rights over unless he wanted too which I know is bullshit so I don't know what to do. He's been this way since I met him and I know he's never going to change! That's why I left! My son calls my husband dad. He knows who's there for him! I just don't want my son hurt anymore. @dreamermom,
I had a friend of mine in a similar situation... her 'sperm donor' ended up in prison, and to try and get time off his sentence was going to take parenting classes and the court was going to force her to take her son to the jail for visitations because he was in this 'program' she said hell no! Filled to have his rights terminated, she proved he had nothing to do with her son prior to this 'program' and her husband adopted her oldest son! So now she never has to deal with him ever again! One day, they will explain it all to him... he was 3 or 4 when it happened so he has no memory of his birth father (he is 10 now)... and as far as they are concerned her husband is his father!
Yes it's heartbreaking. He never had a father so I figured he would atleast want to be one with his child! & I remember one time I was telling my son to do something while on the phone and he told my child not to do that and not to listen to me? Like excuse me? Im his mother and I'm sorry you disrespect yours but my son isn't going to disrespect me and he told me he just does it to piss me off. & yes exactly he doesn't anything to take care of my son. He can't even feed him self, but yet he has money to buy drugs. I'm so done. And I wish he could just sign he rights over but he told he wouldn't and that he was gunna take me to court and he's talked to lawyers and I told him that's fine. I can prove he's unfit very easily! @expectingz,
O wow!! I think you are doing the right thing here! Its so sad that he is putting his baby threw this craziness. However, sounds like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree! He wants to call you names and make you feel bad and look bad in front of your baby and thats not cool at all! You have a duty to protect those children at all cost, and he is one that doesn't deserve him right now! If something happens to your child in his care what can he do?!? what ie he going to feed him?? How is he going to bathe him, thesr are all legitimate questions a mother should have before allowing this! Sounds like a kidnapping is about to take place if you think about it! You have no place for anyone but you! Yes momma you are good!!
Thank you girl. & I know. I've always let him get into my head and make it seem like I'm doing wrong but i know I'm not. He always threatens me with court and I finally told him to take me to court! We have jobs and still can't afford one. I know the hell he can't. @alyssa5792,
Cut him out asap!!!