I filed last year when she was only a couple weeks old, but since he was out of state they wouldn't do anything. When he moved back I gave them his address and the lady never sent our stuff to the local office until a few months ago. I was okay with not doing it at all, but since my dad hasn't been getting to work it's been a struggle getting her diapers and stuff. So the child support will help. Since he has NEVER asked about her or anything I don't think he should get visitation at least not right now. && I've never said anything about using the abandonment. The court is who told me about it because I never knew about it. @beebaby,

Up here they told me it was after 6 months. @beebaby,

Uhm Kristie I don't remember her last name. I'll have to look on my papers. Lol. @goodbyelullabye,

@britt16 that's what I heard about the judge too. I hope it's the truth too. Who's your lawyer?

It honestly wouldn't surprise me if he doesn't. I have no idea though. @cupcakekiki,

Do you think he will show up for court??

@goodbyelullabye, I have a lawyer. && I know nothing about the judge either. Everyone has told me that he is all for the mothers but idk. I've never been to court so that's mainly why I'm nervous. And the fact that I don't want him getting or asking for visits. In a way I don't think he will but then again I think he will for spite.

I have messages where I notified him of her being born an everything. I told him about every appointment I went to and every ultrasound. When I told him they thought there was something wrong with her heart he ignored it completely and said he wanted a DNA test. That's all he would say when I tried talking to him. @keb5097,

@cupcakekiki, up here even if they take his rights or he gives them up he still has to pay child support. A girl my brother is friends with is getting child support even though he gave up his rights.

It's only abandonment if you can prove you notified him of her birth. Since he's not on her bc & paternity isn't established he can claim he didn't know. If you don't have court approved proof he did know then abandonment time will only starg once you establish paternity & paying support counts as being involved

Unless he sign over his rights.

Yes i agree with @keb5097

Anything could happen. You need to have proof he is unfit. Since you are going for child support your ex will most likely go for full custody out of spite like mine did but since he threatened me he only gets supervised visitation. I'm not sure what the new judge is like in there. Here are some tips:

1. Do not interrupt the judge

2. Usually the deadbeat dads keep talking and just dig their own grave. So if he starts lying don't argue or say anything because usually the judge can tell.

3. If you don't have a lawyer. You will basically be all alone. Try not to get too nervous.

If I were you I wouldn't even do it. I'm trying spare you the misery I'm going through

Oh okay. In my state they won't take fathers rights for abandonment unless there has been no communication for at least two years. And if they take rights here they stop child support payments too. I hope it all works out in your favor, he definitely doesn't deserve to be her father!!!

Since he has never been in her life they consider that abandonment and the state is automatically suppose to take his rights.

I wouldn't care if he saw her is he attempted to when she was born, but like I said he hasn't been in the picture since I was 20 weeks. I told him the day we got released from the hospital that he could come visit anytime he wanted but he still never acknowledged her or anything. @cupcakekiki, @keb5097,

And also if he does end up getting visitations and you deny him, you can go to jail for contempt of court, and I've even seen moms lose custody for that. :(

I agree with @keb5097. If it was me I wouldn't even take him to court. It's not worth it, and he doesn't deserve to get visitations or anything which they WILL give him if you go to court

Unfortunately unless you have proof he's drinking & smoking the court won't care. Parents rights trump a child's safety. I had all of my exs arrest info & an expensive top not lawyer. He got 2 days every other weekend with no overnights & had to work up to more but it was unsupervised. I've had several judges tell me since I got extremely lucky. He may not want visitation but if you take an addicts money they get angry & vindictive. Imo unless you are really destitute it's not worth the risk.

I just don't want him to see Tinley or anything. If she isn't with me then she will cry until she gets sick and I refuse to let her go with him or be alone with him. I was told by his sister that he is back to drinking all the time and smoking weed. If he wants to visit with her then he can come here. I WILL NOT have the visit anywhere else. I'll fight it. But in a way I don't think he will want visits. I'm praying he don't. @keb5097,

Yeah I know they are going to do a DNA test. @shayyliynn,

Biggest thing I'd say with a loser like this is once you establish paternity for support you open the door for custody. I've seen several men like this not acknowledge a child until they have to pay. Then they go for custody out of spite. Most states a child not yet in school if a dad wants visitation it's generally a split 50/50 unless you can prove he's unfit. As someone who still cries every time I send my daughter for the weekend 8 yrs later I always tell moms to really think if the money is worth what you could be risking.

As for the actual court it's a pretty straightforward process. Each state has a formula, they'll plug your income & his plus certain expenses & come up with an amount. He's then required to pay that amount unless you both agree on a different amount

They have to DNS test him

They are gonna make you do a proof of perternity since he didn't sign the birth certificate